Woman calls off engagement: 'my fiancé is dumb,' 'he asked WHO is Ukraine.' AITA?
"AITA for breaking up with my fiance just because he is dumb?"
I 25f, grew up in a pretty strict Asian household where academics were everything. I have 2 BSc degrees and a masters all from the most prestigious colleges. The only activity I was allowed as a kid were piano and fencing since they would look good on college application. So when I met my ex through mutuals, it was like a whole new world for me.
He was soo much fun, an extrovert who let his intrusive thoughts win kind of guy. Being with him was an escape from reality to me. We would always try and explore different places, activies, food, and so on. To conclude he was the complete opposite of me, which I was attracted to.
After a year of dating he asked me to marry him during a surprise engagement party where he invited around 50 people (all his friends). Well in the heat of the moment and everyone shouting I said yes. When I recollected and organized my thoughts about how I feel about living with him I just couldn't imagine it.
I work at a MNC and have a high paying job, which in return causes a lot of pressure and work stress. When I try to talk to him about my day and work he is always soo disinterested and thinks I am boasting about my job.
A random instance I remember is when I was talking about the gas prices increasing because of Ukraine, to which he followed up asking WHO is Ukraine. I like having conversations about current events, politics or even a book I just finished reading, but he has absolutely no intrest or even tries to gain knowledge about anything.
I also realized we never really had any real conversation, except for gossiping about people I suppose. Well, I told my fiance about how I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone I can't hold normal conversations with. We broke up, it was pretty peaceful.
Or so I thought, the next day he brought all his friends to trash my place, curse at me, saying I always looked down on him, and that I am an ahole for leaving him because I think he is dumb. So am I ?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Rohkea1 said:
NTA. It sounds like you broke up because you have nothing in common. It is important to have a partner you share something in common with and can have regular conversations with. They say opposites attract, but research shows that the best relationships are ones where the partners have a lot in common.
OfAnOldRepublic said:
NTA. I don't see your post as you looking down on other people, just you describing your accomplishments, and the reasons you were not compatible. I'm still laughing about "who is Ukraine?"
You obviously dodged a bullet here, responding to adverse circumstances with violence is never Ok, and would have become worse over time if you'd married. You're lucky that you escaped while you're still young enough to start over with someone who can help you find balance, but still hold a good conversation with. Blessings on you.
sdemps43 said:
He brought all his friends to trash your place. I think that statement says it all. NTA.
BorisDirk said:
NTA. He is a moron and the actions afterward prove the point. You don't want to be married to someone like this.
she_who_knits said:
NTA, because you dodged a bullet with this idiot. Sure, he was fun and spontaneous, but that gets super old when you have kids and a mortgage, etc and they still want to live like they're 22. And what a punk to bring his bros to trash your place and intimidate you. File a police report and get a restraining order.
QueenScarebear said:
No NTA. You don’t want to be stuck with a beautiful idiot. They have to be on the same level as you, or it isn’t going to work long term.