Woman calls police on nephew, 'he stole from me and squatted in my house.' AITA?

"AITA for calling the police on my nephew after he stole from me and squatted in my house?"

I (45F) am in a difficult situation with my nephew (25M) and my family, and I need some perspective as I simply feel terrible about this whole situation. Last year, my nephew lost his job and couldn't afford to stay with his friends anymore.

Having helped raise him and having such a deep connection, I decided to help him out. I had recently bought a house over the summer to rent out, so I let him stay there until he could get back on his feet. I also gave him 3000 dollars to help with living expenses and such.

A few months later, he landed a job at a major tech firm, and during Thanksgiving, he bragged that his starting salary was almost as much as I've been making after 10 years in my current job. I was naturally very enthused for him and extremely proud.

I decided after the holidays it was time for him to move on and get a place and start paying rent. As spring rolled around, I urged him to find another place to live or start paying me. I also told him we could forget the 3000 and just move on.

He refused, getting really upset and saying it was convenient for him to stay since it was close to his new job and that he was not in a financial situation to be paying rent right now.

Which confused me, as I previously stated he was bragging about his salary? I then offered to let him rent the property for a little more than the mortgage, which was less than what I planned to charge other tenants. He refused and has barely spoken to me since.

I really struggled, but my family insisted that I give him a 30-day notice to vacate the property, which I had notarized. He ignored it. I then started to talk about eviction. We got into another argument when I got to repainting the house (with notice) because he had scuffed up the walls, he kicked over my paint cans, ruining the carpet. I had no choice but to file for eviction, it was all simply to straining.

I had some valuables and furniture I had stored in the crawl space I'd been too afraid to move due to the tension. I found that he sold my retro games and consoles, two paintings, my dining set, and a few other things through a camera on my property. I called the police to file a report.

He came home during this completely out of his mind. They found substances in his system and he is now facing jail time for the possession but also DUI. My family is now furious with me, blaming me for ruining his life.

His parents won't talk to me, and they claim I knew he was under the influence when I called the police when he hadn't even came home yet. They said I should have called them before the police to "settle it." I feel like I did everything I could to help him until he crossed too many lines. I just am so stressed and guilt ridden, I just need to hear some opinions.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Mandiezie1 said:

Right. What did they expect her to do? Let him beat her up and squat forever? His parents sound like part of the reason he lacks accountability. NTA.

Suspicious_Walrus0 said:

NTA. You went above and beyond to support your nephew, offering him a place to stay and money to get back on his feet. Despite your generosity, he took advantage of you, refused to pay rent, and even sold your things.

Calling the police was 100% understandable. His future legal troubles are the result of his own actions, not yours. You did what you had to do in a very tough situation. Don't feel guilty for making the decision you did. You're well within your rights, he is a grown man and not your reasonability.

Don't let your family make you think otherwise. Do the parents know the whole story? They're extremely entitled and it makes sense where he gets this behaviour from if so.

FuzzyMom2005 said:

NTA. I wonder if he was lying about the job, too. He is the architect of his own downfall. He did the drugs. He did the theft. He did the squatting. He did the vandalism. Time to pay the piper. As for his parents. They didn't do anything to help him and they're not doing anything now. Block them.

PandaCotton said:

NTA. You've been generous in offering him your house temporarily while he finds a job and gets on with his life. Byt when he found a job, he tried to take advantage of you. The right thing to do would have been to thank you and look for a new place to live (or pay you rent) but he preferred to behave like an ahole.

You're in no way responsible for his situation today, he's the only one responsible, and it's about time your family made him realize that actions have consequences instead of blaming you for everything.

Nire_Cats_Rule_888 said:

NTA- I didn’t see the parents stepping up to help him when you did. That call to the police prob saved his life… don’t let them guilt you.

Winter_Raisin_591 said:

NTA, do NOT drop the charges and block these AHs who have coddled your nephew for far too long. Consequences don't seem to be anything he has ever been made to face and it's never too late. You did more than enough for him. Rehab your property and rent it out or sell it and move on.

tawstwfg said:

I am soooo sorry for you! This is a heartbreaking situation. NTA. You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry your nephew has turned out to be a mess….I hope he finds his way. Best of luck!