Woman cancels wedding after her fiancé's behavior at bachelor party; 'This ISN'T normal right?' AITA? UPDATED
"AITAH for breaking off my wedding because of what my fiancé did at his bachelor party?"
My fiancé and I have been together for 2 years. It was our wedding eve and I was having my bachelorette party and he was having his bachelor party. So my bachelorette party was just a little thing with some of my girlfriends and family at my home with drinks that the family put together for me.
On the other hand, my fiancés bachelorette party was at a bar with a huge party (which is perfectly fine with me), but halfway into my party my friend runs up to me with a video of my fiancé getting a lap dance from one of the girls.
Then she showed the next video (these were on Snapchat stories) the video was my fiancé licking a mix drink off of a girl's b%%bs, and another video of him making out with a girl and then another girl right after her.
I was upset and confronted my fiancé about it when he got home the day of our wedding. He got all defensive and said “it’s what guys do on their bachelor party nights, it’s the last night we have being single babe.”
He was hungover and I was furious because I understand, but you don’t just go making out with girls and licking drinks off their br%$st.
I just decided to try to forget it and go on with the wedding until he was in the shower and his phone kept going off (we do have a rule where we don’t go through each others phones unless there’s a reason and we have to let the other person know if we are going through them).
I wasn’t going to touch it but it kept going off with people sending him photos on his phone from the night before, so I decided to look at the videos to see if I missed anything. It was photos of my fiancé in bed with TWO girls with NO clothes.
I turned his phone off went in the bathroom and told him the wedding it off and I need time to process what has happened he asked why and I said look at your phone and see he then changed the whole subject and went insane over the searching phones rule.
I told him boyfriends don’t [sleep with] other girls just cause it’s their last night 'single.' He cussed me and then begged for me to keep the wedding. I walked out and said no. It’s been 2 days now and his family is upset with me because I called off the wedding too soon and ruined their son's day.
Everyone who was at my bachelorette party is on my side saying it’s his fault and he needs to relise he’s in the wrong. Should I talk to him about it and reschedule the wedding? I do love him but I’m not sure if this was a red flag that can lead into the future with him. Aitah?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
EverlongLithium
Who has a bachelor and bachelorette the night before the wedding?
Foreign_Slice896 OP responded:
It’s a tradition in my family!xx
Pen-Weary
NTA, he CHEATED on you under the excuse that “it’s just what guys do” at their bachelors party (which it’s not if they have any respect for you) and is lovebombing you/gaslighting you into staying. If you marry this man he will 100% cheat on you again, and again it won’t be his fault but the situations fault.
Ex: You didn’t pay attention to him when he needed it, he had a stressful day at work, he was drunk, etc. He will continue to do this until you eventually leave him or make yourself settle for him. This will not be a happy and healthy relationship for you and will only benefit him in the end, get out while you can.
Knightridergirl80
The whole culture behind this type of Bachelor party is honestly kind of toxic. The idea of ‘celebrating your last night single’.
Specialist_Leg-
He Cheated, RUN NTA
Gankaroonie
I was at a bachelor party and one of the guys (not in the wedding party) tried cheating on his girlfriend. The groom aired him out about how the bachelor party weekend was essentially part of the wedding festivities and he was being disrespectful to the groom's future marriage. Like he didn't want that baggage attached to his celebration of his new relationship.
falgsame writes:
Honestly YTA. I feel like this isn't that big a deal. It is a party. Calm down.
Update from OP after reading the comments:
I’ve thought about it and read the comments I’m going to have a talk with him to move his things out of the house cause I am the one who bought and pays the bills on it I don’t want him in my life and the comments made me relise it was a huge mistake to even think of putting the wedding back on! Thank you!