Woman challenges mom; 'I'm NOT paying off my creepy stepbrother's student debt.' UPDATED 6X

When this woman is confused about her mom, she asks the internet:

"My entitled mom wants me to pay my creep step-brother's student debt. What do I do?"

I (29F) have an older Step-brother, Chris (42M) who has been a nightmare since the day my mom married his dad.

Let me give a bit of background: Our parents married when I was 4 and he was 17. Both our parents were widowed. After their wedding, we moved to the US since my mom had American citizenship through marriage.

I was born in the US too, but after my dad died when I was 1, my mom and I moved back to Colombia. Step-dad got his residency through marriage and my step-brother because he was a minor.

My step-brother wasn't a big fan of me. My only memories of him are just constant bullying. He would be left in charge of me since he was studying locally and lived with my parents, but mostly his 'babysitting' really meant things like locking me in the guest bathroom or the shed outside.

He would steal my lunchbox whenever he was the one who dropped me off at school. He even began to harm my pets. I have an old cat that has been with me for almost 22 years. He tried more than once to run her over with his car.

My parents never believed any of it. He's the classic golden child. My mom absolutely wanted a son instead of a daughter, so my step-brother took priority over me.

The bullying just kept getting worse and creepier. He had this long key for the bathroom. The door was designed in case it got locked by accident, one could open them by inserting a long stick or key through a small hole on the outside. He would use it to walk in on me showering.

My underwear would disappear sometimes and I know for a fact it was him. He also started taking pictures of me sleeping. One night I woke up to him taking care of himself next to me while I slept. I yelled obviously. My parents came over, but he wasn't in trouble. I was for 'tempting him'. I was 14 when this happened. He was 27.

No one helped me and he got bolder until he did something I am still in therapy for when I was 16. It got to a point where I called my biological half-older brother Sam(48M and son of my biological father's first wife) to see if I could live with him and his wife, Sandy, during my last two years of high school.

When Sam found out what was going on, he confronted my mom. My mom didn't care and just told him to take me so long he never asked her for money. Done and done.

My brother and his wife became my legal guardians and took me in with my cat and the old family dog since I didn't trust leaving any living creature with Chris around.

My parents never checked on me. My extended family from my father's side knew what happened and they immediately got together to ensure I could finish school well and go to college. I don't know my maternal family at all.

Thanks to my paternal family, including Sam's mother and her family, I got my bachelor's and master's, no student debt, and work as a nurse practitioner. I still live with Sam, his wife, and their two kids, and I pay a small rent.

Neither Sam nor his wife expected me to pay anything, but that's the least I can do for the two people who have taken care of me for 13 years. For anyone wondering why I didn't move, it's incredibly expensive where I live and Sam insisted I stay with them until I save enough to buy my own home.

Things seemed okay until my mom messaged me recently. She had not messaged me since I was 18 when she told me she no longer had any responsibility to me. In this message, she sounded overly friendly, telling me how she missed me and asking how I was doing.

I was a bit creeped out but decided to be nice, telling her about what I had done since leaving her care. She seemed very interested since apparently she knew I was a nurse, but not what kind I was. She began asking me about my salary. I didn't tell her anything about it, but that it was enough to pay the bills.

My mom then began texting about Chris and how he was barely making any money due to his student debt. Apparently, Chris never finished a degree, jumping from career to career. He is now working in my stepdad's used cars business as a salesman, but most of his pay went to pay the substantial student debt he got over the year.

I told my mom how sorry I was that Chris was having a hard time and wished him luck. That's when my mom finally got to what she wanted: She texted me I needed to pay his student debt so he could finally begin to 'make the money he deserves like the man of the family'. I just turned off my phone.

When I got home, Sam was surprised since I was usually the last to arrive. Sandy wasn't home yet. I told Sam what happened and showed him my mom's text messages. I don't think I've seen Sam this angry ever. He told me to block my mom, stepdad, and Chris if I had not done so yet.

After talking with Sam and Sandy, I called my boss to ask the next day and the one after off. This gave me a 4 day weekend including the days I'm normally off shift. My boss was more than okay with this and told me to just take it easy and let her know if she could help.

This backfired because the next day my mom and Chris decided to come to Sam's house to speak to me. I was alone since Sam and Sandy were at work, and the kids were at school. I immediately called Sam and told him what was going on. He told me not to open the door and that he was on his way.

My mom spent the whole time screaming that I 'owed them' for raising me and that my 'sweet brother' deserved the money. Chris was going around trying to find a window or door unlocked. There wasn't any since the windows have safety bars and the only other door is in the closed garage and one in the yard. The yard one was locked and just in case I locked the one in the garage.

I won't post what he called me when he saw me from one of the windows, but basically, he pretty much told me they should have thrown me away when I was a baby since I grew to be a 'b'. He pounded in one of the windows so hard, he actually cracked the glass.

Eventually, he gave up and went back to the front door, clearly trying to kick it down. I didn't have anything to worry about, the door was a security door, but I was still very scared. Between yelling, threatening, pleading, and insults, I finally heard Sam screaming to them to get lost.

I only saw things from the window; Sam pretty much dragged them both off the porch. They got to a point I couldn't hear, but I saw my mom and Chris pale and look scared before they pretty much ran to their car and drove off way past the legal speed limit.

Sam came in a bit after and immediately went full overprotective brother mode, asking me if I was okay. He kept saying sorry and hugging me. Sandy arrived almost immediately after and she looked like she was about to commit a felony.

Apparently, Sam threatened him with filing charges for what he did to me when I was 16. My brother's ace: my stepdad was willing to testify against his own son. That seemed enough to get Chris off our backs, but not my mom.

Since then, it's been 3 days, and my mom has sent texts, called non-stop with various numbers, and rallied a group of people who are supposedly my maternal family to harass me for money. She claims that money should legally be hers since she's my mother. That it's my late father's missed child support.

Sam is helping me find a lawyer to get a restraining order on my mom and I plan to take my step-dad's offer to testify by pressing charges against Chris. I can't say I can forgive him for not stopping his son, but I appreciate he's at least trying.

I don't know the details, but Chris did something to a relative of his dad and since then they had a really bad fallout. I took my boss' offer and will be on vacation for a few more days.

But here it is. My vacation days are getting eaten up and my therapist might need a therapist after. Thankfully my dark sense of humor and supportive paternal family are keeping me somewhat sane.

I didn't think I would be making an update so soon, but my mother is unrelenting. To the people that were so kind and gave me advice earlier, thank you so much. It really helps to have people show kindness in difficult days. I follow with the advice to freeze my credit and I will be getting a new phone for personal use. Will have to keep my old phone for work for a little.

Now to update on the situation: We are going through with pressing charges and might do a civil lawsuit for two years of child support my mother owns. We are not sure yet of our chances on it, but my brother San wants to go scorch earth.

As for my mother, she began a new campaign. She's been posting about me false accussing my step-brother Chris of SA. She's been accussing me of being a 'temptress that tried for years to sleep with my brother' and even got a few relatives, who I just found out are my aunts, to join in saying they were witnesses. I never met these women in my life.

My step-father actually commented in her post saying my mom was lying and accussing his own son of being a p*do. That's how I found out what was the big fallout between them.

Step-brother went after one of Step-father's nieces. I don't know the girl's age, but she has to be about my age if I'm thinking of the right person. If not, she's younger than me.

A lot of my biological father's relatives have also gone into social media to call out my mother, saying she had always claimed she was an orphan and had no family, while now she has three sisters.

It's a mess, I'm just watching for now and being a stay-at-home aunt. My nephews love it since we go out after they finish homework for crazy shenanigans. My boss has helped me with some paperwork for leave of absence and I should be off for about 6 weeks. After I'll be mostly working from home for a few weeks.

Not the greatest update, and to be sincere things are not fun. But its nice to spend time with the kiddos at least.

Also, forgot this: No, my mom is not likely sleeping or in a relationship with my stepbrother. Some people had mention this. My mom always wanted a son. I was a disappointment because I was born a girl. She treats my brother like he's her real son and I think she truly loves him as a mother. She made sure to tell me how disappointing it was for her when I was born.

Update 1:

I hope the title is okay for the rules. I was recommended to post here but wasn't sure were to start. My mother was widowed when I was 1 years old. My biological father was much older than her, she was a second wife with 20+ age difference. After that she remarried her hometown sweetheart and adopted his 17-years-old son.

My dad was American, mom is Colombian. I was born in the US, then we moved for a few years back to Colombia, and we returned to the US when I was 4.

My whole life my mother constantly complained about the fact I was a girl. She would say things like: "If you were a boy, maybe we could have gotten more from you father' or 'girls are so useless'. All I was for her was the problem child. She took my inheritance and squandered it. Mostly on things for my step-brother.

Whenever she had guests, she would always introduce me and joke how I ruined her body and wasn't even worth it since I was a girl.

Most her friends thought I had some kind of mental illness because of her lies about me being mentally 'behind' (she used the r word). She would often blame it on my gender, though. Saying because I was born a girl, I was clearly inferior.

During holidays, I would be left behind with a sitter. I was just too much of a 'problem child' and would ruin things for my 'sweet brother'. We only have one family picture from when I was 5.

If I got anything nice with my own money, my mother would take it from me if it was something like make up or clothes, saying I wasn't attractive enough or worthy enough to have such nice things.

I should just stick with a plain face since it will make it easier for me to find a job when I was done with high school. She had no intentions of letting me go to college.

But the worst part is she never protected me. My stepbrother is a predator. At first he just bullied me. Stealing my food, locking me in dark places. When I hit puberty though, he began to do worst things. Walking on me when I showered, even if I locked the door, stealing my underwear, watching me sleep, and he even SAed me when I was 16 and he was 29.

My mother blamed it on me, saying I was tempting her poor sweet boy. I was saved by my biological half-brother and his wife. They took me in at 16, finished raising me and put me through college with the help of my paternal family. Even my father's first wife pitched in and has always been kind to me. She's more a mother to me than my mother was.

Now I'm 29 years old, I have a good career as a nurse practioner and I'm saving to buy my own home. My mother found out about this and has been demanding I give her my money because she is my mother and my money should be hers. She also demands that I pay my abusive step-brother's student loans.

Since I refused to fall on my dear mother's demands, she has now gone online to post I am a 'temptress' that is trying to ruin her son's life and that I refuse to pay her back for all the care and love she gave me over the years.

She even had some women that are supposedly my aunts join her in this. I never met any of my maternal family. As far as I knew, my mother was an orphan. Now I suddenly have three aunts that have seen how bad a person I am.

Update 3:

So, this might be my last update on the mess with my mother and step-brother since we're finally starting the legal fights, but I finally had a good laugh.

In my previous posts, I haven't said a lot about my biological father. He died when I was one year old, so I never really met him. I have one picture of him holding me when I was an infant. I mostly know him from stories from his family.

What I do know is he was a man of means. He had a lot of assets that he had carefully divided in his will. Not like so rich I'll never have to work type. Just rich enough that I would be able to live comfortable so long I worked and did right by my finances.

I was not aware he had made sure to leave me with anything. Neither did my half-brother Sam, his son with his first wife, I'm the daughter of an affair partner turned second wife.

My understanding was that anything I inherited was wasted by my mother to buy things for her predator step-son Chris who she prefers to me. He was my abuser growing up. In her words: "Daughters don't need inheritance. Just marry a wealthy old man like me."

Well, since my mother and Chris have been harrassing me lately, we drove to my dad's lawyer to get some things we need from my dad's records for the lawsuit we are planning. He's a sweet older man, kinda looks like my dad a bit, and was my dad's best friend.

When we met, he received me with a hug and told me how happy he was to finally meet with him. His wife was there too and she also gave me a big hug and told me we needed to have dinner at their place.

Once we all caught up, we found my mother had been faking receipts to get money from my trust. A lot of it. Some of it from when I was under Sam's guardianship. And she's not the executor of my trust, she had to provide receipts for anything. She's been sending receipts 'for me because I'm still in medical school'. I finished school in 2021.

Well, her meal ticket not only got torn, and now she's in big trouble. Because this is fraud and basically my hands are tied about pressing charges or not. She claims me as a dependant on her taxes, so my dad's lawyer would refund her for her expenses.

He basically told me there's just no way we can keep this just in civil court. He had to contact IRS and the police. Doesn't help she's been using my social security number for some things she shouldn't. (Thank you for the people that advised me to freeze my credit. You guys saved me for sure.)

I probably won't be able to post for quite a while. And I'm going to be incredibly busy. I'm just mentally exhausted about how much has happened. I wouldn't have done anything about my mom using my trust if she had left me alone.

I wouldn't even know about it because the trust is set for me to take over it with proof of marriage or graduating college. And since I didn't know about it, I never sent the required paperwork to take control. She could have milk it dry if she left me alone and just kept sending fake information.

I am in the process to get what's left of my trust. There's quite a bit in it and should be enough for me to get a house or condo if I mix it with my savings, and still have left over to invest or do other things safely. I might wait for a while to buy anything though. I don't know how safe it would be since my mom still has my social security number.

Update 4:

Hey Reddit, this is more a personal rant than full on update. Things are only starting on the legal side of things, so no real update or information I'm allowed to share. This is more on the personal side of things since I just came home from having my mother harrass me in a bar. It was fun.

Short background: my mother is a greedy liar that let her stepson Chris (who's 13 years older than me) abuse me since I was a small child. First physical abused, then SA. SA started when I was 14 until I was 16. Now she wants me to clear his student debt. And she had been mooching off my biological father's inheritance.

As for last night, well I decided to go out with some girlfriends for a girls night. My half-brother Sam and his wife Sandy have been pushing me to go out for a while. We went to a local bar. I mostly stick to the stools by the bar as I'm a massive introvert, but I like seeing my friends having fun. So I was simply drinking and talking to the bartender in passing.

Well, my good mood was ruined when I noticed my mother, thankfully alone, walk to me. The moment she saw me she pretty much launched herself to hug me and began crying, saying how much she had missed me and how different I looked. I was trying really hard to get away from her, but she began causing a scene.

She's started begging for us to 'reconcile'. That she was sorry I took my stepbrother's affection the wrong way. That they both love me and want me to live with them. She was loud and people were looking at me.

Some even look sorry for her and I had people encouraging me to hug my mom back. It was embarrassing and just so wrong. I just exploded and told her to leave me alone and walked out.

That was even worst because she kept following me with two or three randoms calling me an asshole and terrible daughter.

She just kept swearing Chris truly cares for me and wants us to be a 'family again'. She even said that he found me so beautiful that he couldn't help himself when he SAed me (she said 'when he made love to you'). I was a minor when he attacked me. He was almost 30. I just started crying and screaming at her to go away and leave me alone.

Thankfully one of my more sober friends called Sam and he came over very fast. He scared away my mom and took me home. I'm now 100% sure I don't want to go out.

For people wondering why I never call the cops: I called the cops since I was 11 to report the abuse. I reported at 16 what he did to me. They took his side. I don't trust them. I truly believe cops don't care about SA victims.

I'm just writing this to get it out of my system. My therapist is unavailable, so Reddit is the next best thing.

Update 5:

Hey, been a bit. Sorry for the radio silence. I had some people asking for updates, but things had been pretty quiet until this weekend, so I had nothing to post.

I know people usually do a recap or something like that, so tldr; my mother has always preferred my (F29) step-brother Chris(M42). He was my abuser growing up and SAed me when from the time I was 11 to 16 when I moved with my half-brother after the worst attack.

I recently was tracked down by my mother and she along my step-brother have been harrassing me since. Currently I'm on a legal fight against them to recover some stolen inheritance from my father and trying to get an RO, among other matters.

This weekend once again my mother decided to accost me at work. I was working from home doing clerical work for the clinic I work at, I'm a nurse practitioner, but took some clerical duties to be able to work from home when the mess with my mother and Chris began.

Since then the time I could work from home has ended, so I am back in the clinic taking patients. For the most part, Saturday went well and quiet.

Sunday however I noticed someone that shared my mother's name, but not her last name. My mom has a very unique name. Very old sounding and I've seen in only twice in my whole life.

Of course, there's a big Latino community where I live so I just assume this was another person (we're from a Colombian family, though I was born in the US to an American father). Lo and behold, it was my mother using a fake last name.

When I saw her I immediately called my boss. She's aware of the situation and immediately went to ask my mother to please leave the premises. This can be a controversial move, so to explain it before the debate starts: she was in for a general check up, not a life or death treatment.

She was not denied because of protected reasons, but because I, as a member of staff, felt my life was in danger in her presence. There's a lot of other clinics in varying prices and they are open to get new patients, so she can get her check up anywhere else. This is allowed in our state's law. If she was hyperventilating or clearly in distress, we would not be able to ask her to leave.

My mother of course went on a rampage, demanding to be seen by me specifically. My boss thankfully was not intimidated and just insisted my mother had to leave or else the cops would be called.

After a back and forth that I was watching from the security cameras, this all happened in our waiting room, my mother threw a letter at my boss and left fuming. She even pushed a lady that was walking in, though thankfully no one was hurt.

My boss brought me the letter and told me she will make sure to not assign me any patients with my mother's first name and went to make arrangements with our front desk. I took a break and decided to read the letter, mostly to see if it was something I could use for my RO.

This is a translation to my best capabilities: My lovely ,

It hurts me so much you refuse to speak to me. I love you so much and all I want is to recover the years we've lost. I only have you left from your father, whom I loved dearly. I know there's a lot of misunderstandings with Chris.

He loves you so much too and I wish you would give him a chance to prove it to you. He always talked about how beautiful you are and how much he wished you two could spend more time together. He truly adores you and I wish you would consider his feelings more.

He even asked me to convince you to marry him and I think its a wonderful idea. Papa and I are probably divorcing and this will be the perfect solution so Chris, you and I can stay a family. He keeps going on and on about how much he wants to raise your and his baby together. Let me know when you want to go shopping for wedding dresses.

I love you my darling, Mom.

I'm gonna share a few personal notes here: I am unable to get pregnant. After Chris' attack I had some medical complications that have left me unable to conceive. My mother knows about it. Chris knows about it. The cops know about it. They rule the whole thing as 'consensual se%' and because I was 16, the legal age of consent, nothing was done.

I show this to my lawyer and he added it to the compilation of things we're using for the RO. Still no court date and the cops don't consider my case 'risky enough' to do the paperwork for a temp order.

I do have one officer who is taking this very seriously and has been amazing. It's just a majority who don't seem to care or have too much on their docket to give my case time.

Update 6:

Update: I'm gonna update here since its only been 3 days and feels dumb to make a new post.

Chris has been arrested. Apparently he kidnapped a 2 years old baby girl. His cousin's daughter, no less. The baby was recovered safe and unharmed, from what I heard. I'm glad she wasn't taken for long. Who knows what the hell he wanted to do to her. If I hear more details, I'll update. I'm trying to use this to get that temp RO.