"AITA for convincing my sister change her baby's name?"
This is my first time posting on Reddit after a long time lurking. On mobile, so sorry for any typos. My sister (19f) announced to the family that she and her boyfriend were pregnant a few months ago.
She immediately followed it up with the names she'd chosen: Tyler is it was a boy (after the father), or Savery if it was a girl (pronounced "savory"). Apparently she liked the name Avery, but wanted to make it unique, hence the extra letter.
Obviously, this is a terrible name for a baby, and I politely asked if they were considering any other names. She said no, that they'd already decided. My sister and I aren't really close, so I decided to let it be and congratulated her.
A while later, my sister announced that they were definitely having a girl, and that little Savery was healthy so far. At this point, I'd decided to become more involved with my sister, since this was going to be my first niece or nephew. But I couldn't stop thinking about the poor kid getting teased for her name.
My sister has untreated BPD and any direct challenge to her decisions always escalates to a huge blowout, so I had to play my cards carefully. I got her a specific baby name book from my mom, the very same book our mom had gotten both of our names from.
She loved this gift and we spent all night eating snacks and going through it. That night, I opened up about my concerns for the name she'd chosen and the bullying that might come from it, which she was receptive to, because we'd both been bullied in school.
Over the next few weeks, I said things like, "Oh, this would be a cute name" or "I saw the coolest list of names on Pinterest." My sister loved some of the names and finally, after all of that, she announced that she had settled on the name "Margo" instead, taken from the baby name book.
I was overjoyed at having saved my niece from a life of being named the way someone would describe a steak. Shortly afterwards I got a text from my sister's boyfriend, who I didn't really know at all because he was never home when I was there, calling me all sorts of terrible things for getting involved in his family.
I asked what he was talking about and he continued to cuss me out because he chose the name Savery and I had no right to change it. I pointed out that I was only interested in the well-being of my niece and that my sister was my family, so I had a right to an opinion.
This man had the nerve to tell me that I was an idiot, that I didn't know anything about family since I was still single despite being older than both of them. I pointed out that I clearly wasn't the dumbest one in the conversation, since I didn't try to name my daughter after a literal piece of meat.
Now my sister is angry at me for getting involved and calling her boyfriend stupid, even though he said much more hurtful things in his texts to me. AITA?
Let's take a look at some top responses:
dagh writes:
NTA. You just gave her a book and offered opinions, she chose the name. She didn’t have to, she could have kept the original name. Sister wasn’t forced to switch the name. The og name though is bad. Sounds like the kid is some kind of food, and kids will be relentless in teasing her.
sarissa32 writes:
ESH. It sounds like you only tried to get closer to your sister to get her to change the name in a very intentional manipulative way....Not because you wanted to be there for her through her pregnancy or get closer to her.
Bf also clearly sucks, but yeah... You were meddling. It's not a good name, but it's not your kid. And you don't really indicate you even care about your sister... Just wanted to alter her choice of name.
cocolaurelle writes:
NTA since you are only foreseeing what might possibly happen in the future if they continue with that name, you showed that you care for your coming niece, you just did what you think is right thing, if they won't listen then just let them be, you've done your part.
NTA. A girl being named Savory will get some double takes and a few jokes, but when the teenage years arrive and beyond, she is going to get se^%$lly harassed over it. You've done all you can within the bounds of reason.
You probably won't have that all that much of a relationship with the niece now. That sucks more than usual because this poor kid is going to have shitty parents.
OP
That was another concern I had that I didn't get into here. A teenage girl named "Savory" is bound to get a lot of inappropriate comments from people both her age and older.
Yes, the boyfriend is stupid. Babies are not dogs. Giving them a stupid name has consequences. Hopefully they don't circle the wagons and bring Savery back. NTA.
OP
Dear God, I hope not. The baby is due in early October, so I guess we'll find out for sure then.