Woman convinced, 'My coworker tried to KILL me with her birthday cake;' 'Should I go to the hospital?!?' AITA? MAJOR UPDATES.
When this woman is allegedly sabotaged by her coworker, she asks Reddit:
"I’m convinced my coworker intentionally triggered my allergy. AITA?"
I (23F) work in a small team of 8 people as a part of a larger program. This is my 4th year here, and I’ve always had issues with this coworker (27F) who I’ll call Christina. She is also in her 4th year here.
Christina has a very flirtatious personality, flirting with a (now former) coworker, trying to sit in my lap on several occasions, wearing very revealing clothes that led to HR writing her up.
She also has a slew of mental disorders that cause her to be very narcissistic and manipulative. I started noticing her behavior a few months into working with her, and I tried to keep my distance the best I could.
Even so, she behaves childishly, talks about everyone behind everyone else’s backs, and tries to push my boundaries, but I generally am able to keep her out of my business.
But ever since she came back to work after a vacation home a few months ago back in November, she has started escalating, playing victim, barely coming to work, blaming others for things that went wrong due to her negligence, complaining about being rushed for things she was supposed to have done months ago, etc.
Now for the kicker, her birthday comes around. And every time there’s a birthday or celebration, we’ll get a cake that the birthday guy/girl likes. Christina complains about every cake we get for anyone. It’s too sweet, too much icing, not a good flavor, too fudgy, blah blah blah.
And the only cakes she likes are cakes with fruit and ice cream cakes. I have a severe dairy allergy and I don’t have an epipen due to insurance issues, but it was her birthday, so I went and bought the ice cream cake she begged for myself since everyone else was too busy.
It was this green pistachio ice cream cake with this vanilla butter cream, crushed pistachio, and toffee bits on top.
It was around $40, and I was using the snack funds (that she also hasn’t contributed to in almost a year), so I didn’t think I should spend anything for myself (also, it’s a little no-name ice cream parlor, what else could I buy for myself there that won’t kill me?).
I bring the cake back and we sing happy birthday. The ice cream cake was cut, and my supervisor asked me why I wasn’t eating any (he never remembers I’m allergic until he’s reminded). I gently tell him I can’t eat any, and she chimes in that I could just take a Benadryl and be fine, which pissed me off.
My supervisor was upset that I didn’t get anything for myself, but I told him that it was purchased from an ice cream parlor and was pretty expensive as is, to which he expressed that we should make sure to get things that everyone can eat from here on out.
This obviously pissed her off, and this is why I think she did what she did next. But at the time, I didn’t pay any mind to her anger.
Literally two weeks later to the day, we were supposed to celebrate a holiday and she was tasked with getting the cake. She went to the bakery and picked up one she thought was the best.
I asked her if it had any dairy at all in private, hoping she would be honest, and she told me that it didn’t. So I nodded, and we all cut the cake and had it together. I didn’t notice anything weird since it wasn’t your conventional type of cake.
It had like a plain glaze on top that was obviously not dairy based and the inside had what I thought was a strawberry-blueberry jelly.
Not even 10 minutes later, my throat starts itching and I feel a little off. It was the end of the day and I drink a little water hoping I’m just feeling a little under the weather and dehydrated (which wouldn’t be completely implausible since I was sick earlier this week).
But it kept getting worse, and I had this feeling that she lied to me. I went to the bakery website and had to scour a little bit for the specialty menu and I saw that it had cream cheese mixed into the filling.
Right after I saw that, my supervisor had a question about something for my project, and as I’m talking to him, my throat is getting more and more tight and my voice is getting hoarser by the second. He asks me if I’m okay, and I tell him I think I’m having an allergic reaction.
He asks me if I have any Benadryl, and I tell him that I ran out of my travel bottle and was supposed to buy more today after work. He tells me that I need to go home or to a hospital, because I don’t look okay. I leave his office and go to grab my things to leave. Maybe I should go to the hospital, I thinking.
Christina then does the creepiest thing. She stops me and since I was coughing really badly, tells me I should put on a coat (because she said it was cold, when it wasn’t and wanted to adjust the AC). I tell her “no, because I’m not cold. I’m having an allergic reaction to the cake.”
I shit you not, she looked me dead in the eye and said, “No you’re not.” At this point, I’m fg shocked that she just told me that my throat wasn’t closing. I said, “Um yeah. I am.” She responded with,
“How are you having an allergic reaction? There was no dairy in the cake.” I said, “there was.” She literally responded to that with “nuh uh.” I go into my phone, find the bakery AGAIN, find the ingredients AGAIN and show her.
She says, “Well that’s not true because I asked the lady there and she told me that it didn’t have any dairy in it.” I replied with my voice that now sounds worse than someone who smoked 6 packs a day for 30 years, “Well someone is lying then.”
She didn’t have a response, and I grabbed my stuff and drove home half dead (because I’m still paying off my hospital bills from an accident I was in last year and I can’t afford another bill). I popped my Benadryl, went to bed, and didn’t die. So yay.
But I am fully convinced that because I didn’t eat her birthday cake, she wanted to test to see if I was lying about my allergy. Christina wanted to kill me. Well maybe not kill me but see me suffer. What a psycho.
I’m very careful about not eating dairy, especially at work, and I think she wanted to try to have a gotcha moment to expose me for lying about an allergy so that she can keep getting her ice cream cake for her birthday.
But it backfired and now everyone is angry with her. Everyone has a short fuse with her now, and she barely even speaks to me which I enjoy. Karma is a b.
Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
motherkraken writes:
I agree with the other poster that suggested to follow up with the bakery. Not because I think you're wrong but because if there's even a chance that they could have made that mistake it needs to be addressed. You don't just guess whether there are allergens in the food you make or not.
This is coming from someone who cooks professionally, if you don't know, you be honest about that so you don't hurt anyone. And if they come back and say she never asked or was made aware, you really should contact HR. Someone risked your life/health for that cake.
foxyloxy writes:
I agree with people saying confirm with the bakery. It is very possible they messed up and gave her wrong information, it is also possible that she did lie to test the validity of your allergy.
I’m allergic to strawberry’s, I went to a donut shop once asked the lady at the counter 3 times “are you sure this isn’t strawberry?” She said “yes it’s raspberry” I bought a donut, went to work started eating and instantly started feeling the symptoms of reaction.
Luckily one of my colleagues had Benadryl in his briefcase and I was able to stop the reaction before it reached dangerous levels.
I’ve also been in a situation where a co-worker tried to test my allergies because she didn’t believe strawberry allergies exist. She gave me a cookie saying it was cherry chunks, same thing happened I took Benadryl and was ok, but everyone said that she just made a mistake and it wasn’t intentional.
One of my friends said well it’s pretty common knowledge around the office that she is allergic to strawberries. The girl openly said “well I didn’t believe it, it’s such a weird thing to claim to be allergic too. I just thought she wanted attention”.
Definitely talk to your HR department if for no other reason to keep a record incase other dairy containing products find their way to you.
amazingcabinet writes:
I don’t have any advice about your coworker except what’s already been given. But……GIRL - you have to prioritize yourself. I’m so sorry that your coworker is obviously psychotic but the amount of stuff you did between thinking you’d been poisoned and actually seeking treatment is bonkers.
I am not blaming you but your coworker is pushing your limits or claiming you’re not allergic or she didn’t expose you because normally people exposed to an allergen don’t finish their work day and then humor their poisoning coworker with twenty rounds for Blues Clues while actively undergoing an allergic response in which their throat is closing.
Why the f are you debating the ingredients of a cake while undergoing anaphylaxis? Why are you debating needing a coat FFS?
You felt off within 10 minutes! You should have immediately gone and sought medical attention. Right then! If not immediately it should have been as soon as you looked up the bakery and realized you were exposed to an allergen.
I have zero idea why you continued working. Zero! You should not have kept working, you should not have had that long discussion with your supervisor, you should not have engaged in ANY back and forth with your coworker.
People are treating your allergy with little to no respect or urgency because YOU are treating it with little to no respect or urgency. You have to advocate for yourself. You need to learn this NOW before you have permanent consequences.
She’s making the claim your allergy is made up or “not that bad” because of how you’ve acted while experiencing an allergic reaction. You don’t need to finish your workday.
You don’t need to finish your conversation and you sure as f don’t need to essentially investigate your own death and have a trial before seeking treatment. The treatment proves your case. You don’t need to justify leaving work in the middle of the day so you don’t DIE instead of seeking immediate treatment. If you do - this place isn’t worth being employed.
I have a friend that is a people pleaser like you and I have a running joke that one day she’ll be dying and tell us but insist on making us a sandwich before she goes. I’ve had this same conversation with her as she’s allergic to bees.
I’ve seen her get stung and attempt to finish her chores, finish her conversation, finish whatever she feels obligated to do before getting her epi pen or seeking treatment. We’ve all actively MADE her seek treatment over her objections about not wanting to let us down.
STOP SETTING YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP YOUR COWORKERS WARM!
kjackook writes:
This is maybe a hot take, but I would never eat anything that I didn't absolutely know for sure was free from my severe allergy. I think you need to take responsibility for yourself and eating a cake from a bakery that uses all kinds of dairy products is likely to at a minimum have cross contamination.
You should get a dairy free dessert to keep in the freezer at work for special events. Your coworker sounds psychotic but she also probably doesn't know anything about being dairy free and what that entails.
penya23 writes:
No offense OP but this post is really weird. Sorry but if you have such a deadly allergy, why are you googling the bakery website, talking to your boss, debating wearing a coat, arguing about ingredients, and then not going to the hospital?
I'm not even going to mention the fact that you don't have an epi-pen. I know a lot of people with severe allergies, and if they even felt s tingling of a reaction happening, theyd be running (not walking, not discussing), but RUNNING to the nearest hospital or medical center. I'm sorry but there is a lot of information here that just doesn't add up.
maybeidontdkn writes:
Why did you waste time talking with her when you were in the middle of an anaphylactic episode? Why didn’t you tell your boss to drive you home.
Why eat food you aren’t 100% sure about? I have never had a food episode since the very first time I discovered the allergy…35 years ago. Be diligent in the future if you want more future.
Then, OP provides the following updates to clarify the situation:
Update 1:
Lol I wasn’t going to wear a coat. I started coughing and she told me I should put one on, because she assumed I was coughing because the room was cold (it wasn’t). Her desk is back to back with mine, so as I was gathering my things, she started up with that.
And as per the conversation with my supervisor, we have this really big project that needed to be wrapped up asap, and he had a really quick question about my data (it took literally less than 2 minutes, because he also had to leave).
Update 2:
For the website, I wanted to confirm what it actually was that I ingested. Different dairy products affect me at different levels (I.e., ice cream is a lot worse for me than cheese due to the amount of protein I’m allergic to being present). And I needed to know how bad this was going to be before I just bolted.
Update 3:
The state that I’m in doesn’t really take my insurance. And I’m still dealing with paying thousands of dollars off from a hospital stay for something that happened last year, and I haven’t had the time to go out of state to see an allergist for an epipen.
I don’t have a lot of money right now. And paying for an ER or a hospital/urgent care visit isn’t something I can really afford currently.
The entire argument with her was over the course of me grabbing my stuff so I could leave (and the brief pause to show her the website).
And the argument was happening WHILE I was packing my stuff to go. What you don’t understand is that this place couldn’t give a shit about our wellbeing. Which is why I’m putting in the time necessary and then moving on.
To clear this up, I had a less than 2 minute conversation with my supervisor, as there was a big project that really needed to be wrapped up asap. And the argument with her was happening while I was packing my things to leave.
Her desk is back to back with mine, so she kept pushing with questions as I was trying to get my laptop, charger, etc.
The argument with her only lasted as long as it took to get my stuff together (aside from showing her the website. I was really pissed and wanted to shove it in her face which was petty I’ll admit).