Woman cuts her hair short, disgusted fiancé says she looks like a 'lesbian.'

The only person that has to live with your body forever is you. Functionally your hair, how you dress, and how you choose to present are only for you to decide. Whatever makes you feel comfortable living in your skin is the right way to live your life.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A%*hole Here Subreddit, a woman asks if she was wrong to cut her hair despite her fiancé's protest.

She writes:

I (f29)have been with my now fiancé (29m) for about six years. In our relationship, I had only cut my hair to shoulder length once, about five years ago (we started dating when I had shoulder-length hair). Since then, I have kept my hair very long (down to my bottom).

I have always done what my fiancé has requested with my hair (I have dyed it, cut it, tried styling it how he likes, etc.) My hair is very thick and heavy. In the summer, it is extremely hot, I have wanted to cut my hair up to my shoulder for many, many months now, and this past weekend I decided I would do it.

I told my fiancé, and he replied, 'You're going to look like a d%ke' I was shocked and hurt. I know he loves my long hair, and I do, but I needed a change. My hair is hot, and I do a lot of work during the summer. I have always done my hair how he would like, and I explained this to my fiancé. He told me if I cut my hair, there would be consequences.

In the end, I decided to cut it, anyways, to my shoulder. My self-confidence has skyrocketed. I feel good, amazing, better than I’ve felt in a long time. I was overjoyed. The day I got my hair cut, I didn’t ask him how he liked my hair. I didn’t ask for his opinion since he told me he did not want to discuss my hair.

It has been a few weeks, and I have tried to express how good I feel and understand why he is so upset with me for cutting my hair. He has made a few comments about his dislike for it and how he thinks it makes me look like a lesbian if I wear shorts. My fiancé now refuses to talk about it, look at me or touch me, and he’s distant and a little mean.

I'm very confused about why cutting my hair has been such a big issue, and I tried to talk about how I don’t like how he’s been treating me over it. We ended up fighting, I tried to express how I cut it for myself and how good I felt, and how he didn’t have to like it, but he can’t be treating me like this and at least should respect my decision to cut it.

He said, 'I do not respect your decision to cut it, it was disrespectful to me as I asked you not to, and I told you there would be consequences.' He has talked with his friends about how much he hates my hair, and they all agree on how it makes me look. He expressed how one of his friend's girlfriends also wants to cut her hair but won’t because she 'actually respects what her boyfriend thinks/wants.'

I’m starting to hate my hair and regret cutting it. I feel horrible now. I just wanted something different and new for myself. I want his support and love, I want him to think I’m beautiful and sexy no matter the length of my hair, and he is making me feel the opposite.

He told me I couldn’t be upset with him or hurt by what he said because I was in the wrong for trying to talk to him about it. I shouldn't have brought it up if I didn’t want my feelings hurt. I’m starting to think he was right. And regret ever cutting my hair. So AITAH?

The internet has some advice.

mertsey627 says:

The only reason you'd be the AH (a%$hole) in this situation is if you stay with him. I'm sorry, but my husband will tell me 'do what you want, it's your hair. You will be beautiful no matter what.' THIS is how a partner should respond.

We may all have preferences in how we prefer our partner, but it doesn't mean we get to belittle them for it. When my husband shaves off his beard, I hate it, but I don't sit there and tell him how ugly he is or anything like that. That is not okay. NTA (Not the A#!hole) for cutting your hair.

SusanMShwartz says:

NTA. He and his bros are much too controlling and disrespectful. I can think of some 'consequences' I would suggest.

jacksonlove3 says:

Absolutely NTA for cutting your hair! Your boyfriend sound like a controlling jerk though! Cutting your hair is not disrespectful to him in any way. He sounds like he’s treating you as if you are property of his and that’s disgusting. Sure he’s entitled to feel however he does, but his attitude and behavior about it is gross!

You’re his partner not his property! He’s more worried about his feelings than he is being happy for you feeling good about yourself! And that’s selfish as f%ck to be honest!! This whole situation would have be reevaluating my relationship for damn sure!!

OP, your man straight up sucks. Get a buzzcut.