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Woman stops paying parents' rent so she can retire early; they demand she continue.

Woman stops paying parents' rent so she can retire early; they demand she continue.


Work to live, not live to work, is a mantra I aspire to. On a popular Reddit thread, one woman has worked enough to live the rest of her life without having to work that hard anymore.

AITA for no longer supporting my family and retiring?

OP paid her dues to live the life she wanted.

I(38F) recently quit my job at a big tech company making +$200k, and my husband also works similarly in tech. I live very frugally and save 70-75% of my income with my husband. We now have a nest egg big enough to retire and enjoy our passions.

He loves carpentry and makes custom furniture, and I’m dog walking and making custom cakes. Now we make enough to support ourselves since our house is paid off. With our nest egg, I think even with inflation; we should make it for the rest of our lives. So we decided to work for ourselves, but we don’t make as much.

My husband works as a contractor, but the contract expires in 6 months, and I’ve already retired. I have burned out already for years but forced myself through it because I was afraid of retiring during the pandemic uncertainty, but it looks like it’s a crap shoot no matter what, so I just retired to enjoy my life.

Seems like OP was somebody else's nest egg.

The problem is I paid for my parents' housing for nearly a decade. My brother has ADHD and lives with them, and has been fired from every job he’s had. I believe it’s because my parents coddle him and not due to this ADHD. He got meningitis as a baby, and while he didn’t have any lasting issues from that, my parents were always soft on him because of it and let him get away with everything.

Now he’s in his 30s and can’t hold down a job. So my parents are still raising him, and my mom never worked because my dad was always the breadwinner. But my dad was laid off a decade ago and couldn’t find other work in his field, so he’s been doing part-time jobs.

Families are masters of guilt.

When they couldn’t make rent, they asked me for help and guilt tripped me into it because I made more. So I pay roughly $700 a month for them to stay in their place and have done for the last decade. In the beginning, I tried to get my mom and brother to work, but they kept saying how tired they were and kept putting off sending out resumes to the point I gave up.

About four months ago, I told them of my plan to retire early and start my own business, and of course, I was called selfish and ungrateful for cutting them off because I make more and am choosing to quit.

If you have a breath you can work according to OP.

This month the landlord came to ask for money, and they ran to me again even though I gave them four months notice and made it clear that September’s rent was the last month I’m paying. They demanded I pay another month because “they weren’t ready.” I told them they had four months to figure things out, but I was sick of paying for their rent when my parents are still in their early 60s and could work.

Now I’m getting repeated calls, texts, and emails calling me cruel and greedy for cutting them off.

Zero7541 says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). I have ADHD and have a career in engineering. Your parents just raised an a**hole. If they keep asking you for money, go LC with them. Not your pig, not your farm. Good luck with your retirement. I'm very freaking jealous.....

smellslikeurmom says:

NTA. Four months is more than most would get. You complain about your parents enabling your brother, but that $700 enables all of them. ADHD is tough, but millions manage to work with it. It's time for your brother to figure it out. Even a part-time job would make up that $700 in a few weeks.

Initial-Cry-8812 says:


You never should've been paying their bills, to begin with. You're lucky enough that you can retire so young and enjoy yourself and that's amazing but you're not obligated to care for three full-grown adults, you're not a babysitter and none of them are senile.

OP, the internet is on your side! Tell your brother to get his life together!

Sources: Reddit
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