'A boy was harassing my niece at my sister's birthday so I yelled at him, AITA?'
My sister is mad at me for ruining her birthday because I dsicplined children that weren't mine.
Nasty-Comments writes:
My husband (M35) and I (F34) recently attended my sister's (F40) birthday party, which was quite large. Many family and friends were present, some of whom we had not met before.
As the evening progressed, many guests with young children left. However, as the party wound down around midnight, there were still a few teenagers in attendance. My sister has two teenagers herself (F16 and M17), and they had spent most of the night together, so I hadn't interacted with many of them.
I must admit, I overheard a conversation while assisting my sister with cleanup. The conversation involved my niece and another boy (M18). He was trying to persuade her to take some leftover alcohol before the adults noticed, but my niece repeatedly declined.
I couldn't help but eavesdrop at this point because the situation was escalating. I believe they thought they were speaking quietly and not drawing attention, but they didn't realize I could hear them.
I decided to intervene when the boy suggested he would show her a good time later. My niece responded with "Ew, gross," and I approached the boy, questioning how he could speak to someone like that.
He appeared startled when he realized I had overheard their conversation and struggled to respond. I told him that he had much growing up to do if he thought his comments were acceptable. I admonished him for showing such disrespect to my niece, emphasizing that she had already declined the drinks, and pressuring her was unacceptable.
Unbeknownst to me, the boy's father (M37) had approached while I was speaking. He claimed I had no right to discipline his child and argued that his son had done nothing wrong, attributing his behavior to teenage urges, which he considered normal.
His voice began to escalate as he questioned my authority, catching the attention of my husband and other guests. My husband intervened, telling him to back off and not speak to me in that manner. In response, my sister asked us to leave and called me an embarrassment.
Subsequently, my sister texted me, stating that I am not welcome back until I apologize to the boy and his father. She claimed that I had disrupted her work life because the boy's father is a coworker of hers. I am now questioning whether I was in the wrong.
Here are some of the top comments from the post:
THROWRAhickory says:
NTA (Not the A%#hole). At. All. I understand your sister is upset because of the coworker relationship but that boy needed to be embarrassed. It’s evident why he behaved the way he did. Apple falling, tree close. He certainly wasn’t going to be disciplined at home. In fact, you are so not the AH that I’m issuing a public thank you to you for your service… to the community and to your niece!
Solivagant0 says:
That "child" is 18, at that point it's not disciplining a child, it's calling out a bad behavior, adult's bad behavior. NTA.
edebby says:
NTA. So wait, your sister was upset that you disciplined a teenager that was trying to pressure HER DAUGHTER to steal alcohol (because he was a f#%king coward to do it himself)? Then she kicked YOU, her sister, from the party for making comments to a teenager about it?
And the dad, excused the behavior of his son and your sister was OK with it because he is a co worker (so he's allowed to bring his "full of urges" son and persuade your niece to steal alcohol for him and get "really good time" for it?
It all sounds like a sitcom, sorry. Unless your sister has an affair with that boy's dad, I have no clue why she took his side, or why she doesn't care that her daughter was exposed to such sh%t at her own party.
What do you think? Was OP right to discipline that boy, or should he have ignored it and let her niece deal with it alone?