Woman discovers friend lied about 'deathly allergies' before wedding; AITA?

It can be hard to accommodate everyone's different dietary preferences and allergies when planning a wedding, but how do you curate a perfect menu for a liar?

So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her lying friend's wedding food, people were ready for the gossip.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for blowing up on my friend over her allergies before her wedding?

I (26F) have known my friend since elementary school. She has been dating this guy she met for a while and they've decided to get married. She asked me to help with wedding preparations, so I've been going with her to everything.

I noticed places she chose served food she was allergic to. 'Deathly allergic' having it cooked or eaten near her causes her throat to close up allergic.

Background: I'm Indian. At my house we would always have Indian food. Whenever friends came over, I would ask them if they would like to try some of the food, but I never forced it. It's spicy, and has different ingredients. I usually would order food or make something simple.

When she came to my house I did the same. I'd rattle off what was in each dish to see if she wanted to try it. She told me she was allergic to things that were in it every time.

I could relate, I had a lot of sensitivity to fruits. And while I've never heard of people being allergic to some of the stuff she claimed, everybody is different.

Once she even started coughing and saying she felt her throat closing up when my mom heated up her own dinner. I've never seen my mom move that fast to grab benadryl and toss her food out the door. We wouldn't even microwave food that had her allergens in it after that. I was so freaked out.

That was when we were kids. As we got older I would keep her allergies in mind. As we grew older I would go out of my way to look up food I could cook that she could have, call ahead to restaurants to make sure they had food options she could eat.

She was a bridesmaid at my wedding. Her being there was more important to me than the food we served that day so I opted to have a western dinner. This was something I got a lot of crap from my extended family for.

It escalated to the point certain family members said they would not attend if I could not serve them a decent Indian meal (not something I should have cared about, but I was young, my dad had passed away not long before that, and I was trying my hardest to not lose ties).

So back to her wedding. Maybe she plans on asking for substitute ingredients to be used I don't know. However, one day when I was over at her place and talking to her mom, I mentioned that just in case we should have an epipen with someone in the bridal party.

She asked me who the epipen was for. 'For __?' 'But she isnt allergic to anything.' I just laughed it off and changed the topic.

Well when I saw friend later that day I asked about it. She just laughed and said it was just her way of avoiding Indian food. I was shocked, I snapped at her and yelled quite a bit.

I just feel so hurt that she could lie about something like this, and to keep it going for years. It's not even about the food. I havent responded to any of her calls or texts for days now.

When I spoke to my mom about it she told me that I should let it go, that I was risking my long friendship with her and possibly ruining friend's wedding by refusing to talk. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

maidofatoms said:

NTA, what she did is disrespectful to people with real life-threatening allergies. Also, why not just say 'I prefer not to eat this?'

Inner-Ad-1308 said:

NTA- she’s a huge as$hat- allergies are serious business & how many times have you actually thrown food out to accommodate her “allergies “ ? How many times has she played up her “allergic reactions?'

It would be different if it was just a no thank you- but she claimed allergic reactions, like throat closing up; she messed with YOUR WEDDING!

mouse_attack said:

It makes me furious that she went so far as to let you cut off your own cuisine for your wedding to accommodate a condition she doesn’t actually have! This isn’t a little misunderstanding.

It’s a lifetime con that damaged your relationships with your extended family. If she were your actual friend, she would have had some sensitivity to your culture. She basically whitewashed your wedding. NTA.

[deleted] said:

NTA. I’m deathly allergic to strawberries. Like anywhere near me and my throat closes allergic. I’ve nearly died several times growing up and I’ve known people who HAVE died due to anaphylactic shock. Hearing someone lie about it just to avoid eating food is really disrespectful.

She needs to grow tf up and say she just doesn’t like Indian food. The thing that makes it worse is that it’s fine to not like Indian food. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. This lie was so pointless, which makes it all the more sh$tty.

DelurkingtoComment said:

NTA she took “avoiding Indian food” WAY too far and caused you to make many accommodations throughout the years without caring about all the unnecessary worry and trouble she caused.

C_Majuscula said:

NTA. People who lie about allergies are despicable and make it that much harder for everyone who does have allergies. This is how people end up in the hospital when someone sneaks an allergen into an unrelated food because they don't believe the person with allergies.

So, there you have it...

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman wasn't wrong to harshly call her friend out for her behavior. If the friendship ends because of this long-game lie, she would be completely justified. Good luck, everyone (except for this bride).