Woman discovers husband in gym influencer's TikTok videos, 'they have so many followers.' AITA?

"My husband is appearing in a gym girl's TikTok videos..."

Alright, I hope I’m not about to come across as crazy. The situation is this: My (F27) husband (M28) and I go to a local gym a few times a week. He mainly lifts weights, and is definitely one of the stronger guys there.

There are several “fit-fluencers," both male and female, that frequent our gym, and over the past few months, the girls have started to be really friendly with him. I don’t mind that really, it’s fine to ask for a spot or form check, but what I didn’t realize, and he didn’t either (at first) is that he was ending up in their Instagram and TikTok videos.

I found out because a friend follows one of these girls sent me a reel asking if I knew my husband was in these videos. When I asked him if he knew, he said he assumed that he was, but didn’t realize they had so many followers.

The thing that really weirded me out is how the comment section had a lot of comments about how this girl needs to get with her “gym crush." She had even pinned some, and had not mentioned anywhere that he is married.

I’m not upset at him, but I just feel like her behavior is really odd. I don’t want to be controlling, but I also don’t really feel comfortable with her being around him, especially if I’m not present. I guess I’m just asking for advice on how to bring this up with hubby without coming across as controlling.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

CecilyAnn said:

Does this girl know that he’s a married man? If she does then she’s being extremely disrespectful. Asking for respect in this situation isn’t being controlling, it’s about setting healthy boundaries.

Talk to your husband and let him know how uncomfortable these TikTok videos made you feel, especially with people in the comments saying things like she needs to get with her gym crush. It’s his responsibility to address the issue, set boundaries and ask her to stop recording him and posting him on TikTok.

Best-Firefighter4867 said:

That girl is obviously preying on your husband so my advice would be - don’t be naive and take action to prevent a possible catastrophe. I would not be okay with him going there without you. Honestly.

letmeleavethisplace said:

I mean, the first step is probably bringing it up, and explaining the comments pinned about getting with her gym crush. Any reasonably well adjusted adult shouldn't take this as controlling.

Nothing wrong inherently with bringing it up so he is aware. It's possible he doesn't even notice because he doesn't care, or it's possible he enjoys the attention in the comments (men don't tend to be "desired" publicly that often so it could be an ego boost thing too).

BZP625 said:

You're not crazy, and neither is your husband, and also neither is she. Women make these gym vids by the millions, and they like to have hot guys or girls in them to get clicks. It's a thing.

Some guys don't like it, and some don't really care. The comments are irrelevant. But if you don't like him being in them, just tell him. This is why some gyms are creating rules against filming.

BeeaBadB69 said:

Just gently come to him and say, honey I want to bring something to your attention and I just wanna talk about it. I’m not mad it just the situation that I wanna talk about makes me feel uncomfortable and try and use as gentle of a voice as possible and hold his hands...

Have them look into your eyes and say I love you and I trust you, but this situation makes me uncomfortable and I want us to work through this together so how can we fix this?

Mumblejumble5 said:

Trust me if you guys are married then expressing your concerns about someone else’s questionable acts won’t hurt him or make you sound controlling. He might pass it off as it’s nothing because why not as it’s not something he did or he has wrong intentions, but still if you don’t bring it up then you might have resenting feelings and it will creep into your relationship.