Woman makes Disney Adult feel 'stupid,' 'We are DINKS.' AITA? 'I am so flabbergasted.'

"AITA for making someone feel 'stupid' over vacation differences?"

I (F30) love to travel. While I do LOVE to sit on a beach with a book, my favorite vacations are the type where you walk around a ton, sightsee, visit historical sites, museums etc. My wife (37) and I are big "stop and read this sign about a horrible battle took place 300 years ago" types.

We also like camping and hiking and getting into nature. We are DINKS and fortunate enough to have a lifestyle where we can take trips like this. We recently got back from two weeks in Bergen and the surrounding areas. This was definitely a more physical trip, we did Trolltunga and all that.

Last night was a party at our friend's house, and I got into conversation with "Amy" who is a friend of another friend who was invited. From what I know of the few times I've met her, she does seem to be into very mainstream things. Which is fine! I watched almost all of Love Island on the flight home, lmao.

I told Amy about our vacation and all that and she said she doesn't take trips like that, but she goes to Disney instead. She has apparently been quite a few times. She asked if I had ever been and I said "no that's not really my thing" and then she kept on saying why and how amazing it was and just said "it's not the type of thing I think we'd spend our money on."

You would think I had cursed her out? She looked really huffy and said something like "it's not like you're any better than me for going hiking and doing "cultured" things you know" and left.

I am so flabbergasted. I don't think Amy told anyone, but I told my wife. She said not to worry, that's insane but? Did I break some weird unknown rule? Did I seem classist? Am I the ahole?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ShadowsObserver said:

Soft NTA, with the caveat that telling someone something they love is not worth spending your money on does sound harsher and more judgmental than if you'd just stuck with a simple "It's not the type of thing we enjoy."

Only-Ingenuity7889 said:

I'll be classist - experiencing the world around you and other societies IS more cultured than going to Disney over and over. (I say that having done much traveling and having worked for Disney). That said, she projected her own insecurities onto the conversation. You each have preferences that make you happy. You don't have to understand the others motivation. NTA.

challahbee said:

You just ran into a classic Disney Adult. There are two kinds of Disney theme park fans: people who love going to the parks and hanging out and having a good time, then going home to their lives, and then there are Disney Adults.

These people make it their entire personality, and have sunk a lot of money into Disney timeshares, Disney cruises, merch, apparel, accessories for their car, their Stanley, etc, and get really huffy if you don't see the same value in it as they do, because they assume you're looking down on them. It's kind of exhauisting. NTA. She thought you were yucking her yum, but really I think she's just being insecure.

rememberimapersontoo said:

NTA. While I have to say, “it’s just not the kind of thing I think we’d spend our money on” is the kind of a line that could easily be delivered in a disrespectful or classist way, it seems pretty obvious from this story that you just didn’t know what else to say to her after she kept pushing it.

What kind of adult keeps asking another adult why they haven’t visited Disney? even you love it, you should realize it’s not for everyone (as you said over and over.) and the people it is actually designed for, are children. I think if it had been me I would have eventually said something that made her feel a lot more stupid than that.

gailthesnail2525 said:

NAH - I think you misunderstood her. It sounds like she was telling you what she enjoys about her vacations, not necessarily trying convince you to do a Disney trip. It sounds like you enjoyed telling her about your vacation, but you were just sharing, not trying to convince her to take the same trip, right?

And then you responded in a way that sounded like you belittling her trip. You could have just closed with, “sounds like you really enjoy your vacations!” I used to misinterpret when people would share what they enjoy with me too. But now I listen to their descriptions and sometimes try to ask questions such as, “How do you deal with the heat?

What was your favorite food that you tried? What will you do differently on your next trip over there?” Sometimes being a good friend means listening to your friend talk about something you’re not super interested in. And hopefully your friend will hear you out next time you have something to talk about that they find boring.

Helpful_Ad_6582 said:

YTA, for the way you said it. “Not something we’d spend our money on” immediately casts judgement on her for spending money on that very thing. You obviously do judge her (after only a couple meetings) for her “mainstream” preferences, but a more neutral reply would have hidden your disdain.

“I don’t know if Disney is our thing, but it sounds like you’ve had some really memorable trips there. So what else is new with you?”

Later, OP edited the post to include:

I wanted to add something in regards to a comment I saw. I am autistic. This is a later in life diagnosis, as is with a lot of women. I've always been told I have an unusual speech pattern though.

I have a higher/softer pitch that can fluctuate kinda "sing songy." I'm thinking maybe that could have changed perception. I will take any judgment- thanks for weighing in!