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Woman called 'disrespectful' for eating peanut butter cake with an allergic partner.

Woman called 'disrespectful' for eating peanut butter cake with an allergic partner.


Of course it's important to respect the dietary restrictions and food allergies of others, but dating someone who can't eat peanuts shouldn't prevent you from indulging in a dessert when they're not around, right?

So, when a conflicted girlfriend with a nut-free boyfriend decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As#hole' about a cake incident, people were invested in CakeGate.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for buying a peanut butter cake even tho my boyfriend is allergic?

My (22F) boyfriend (24M) always told me he was allergic to peanuts. I don’t know where he gets that from because his mom’s always saying that he isn’t but, you know, I never wanted to risk giving him some and have him get a allergic reaction, so I just took his words for it.

Yesterday, I went to a bakery before work and bought myself a peanut butter cake to eat after lunch.

My boyfriend surprised me at work during my break and wanted us to eat lunch together. I told him okay.

After we were done eating, my boyfriend saw the bakery bag with the cake and asked if he could have some, I said no as it was a peanut butter cake and I didn’t want him to have an allergic reaction.

That’s when he got mad at me for buying this even though he’s allergic to it, he said I wasn’t being respectful.

I told him that I bought it because we weren’t supposed to see each other until tonight, 6pm so I’d had time to brush my teeth and stuff and that I wasn’t planning on eating it in front of him.

He said that I shouldn’t have bought it at all, no matter when we were supposed to see each other because it was selfish and as his girlfriend, I shouldn’t be eating what I know he can’t eat.

I think it’s not fair that I shouldn’t eat something that I like because he’s allergic to it. Obviously I don’t eat that when I’m with him but we weren’t supposed to see each other of the whole afternoon, so I thought it’d be a good occasion to have a peanut butter cake.

AITA? Maybe it was selfish to buy something I know he’s allergic to.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say...

LilPebzz said:

NTA He needs to grow TF up. Those are some serious control issues he has. Consider this a 🚩and keep an eye out for more. I’m seriously allergic to shellfish and I would never expect someone to stop eating it.

I’m jealous of the fact they can and live vicariously. Even if his allergy is real, you were in no way endangering him.

JustheBean said:

NTA. Wow that is such an immature take on his part it’s a little mind boggling. He is allergic, you aren’t. You are taking safety precautions and making sure not to rub it in his face or give him the feeling of missing out.

I get it sucks to feel like you’re missing out, but he needs to grow up and get over it. They aren’t going to take peanut butter off the shelves and declare no one can enjoy it just because he can’t.

Positive-Source8205 said:

NTA. Unless he shows up at your workplace every day for lunch, how were you supposed to know he would be there? Are you expected to forego the pleasure of peanuts the entire time you’re together—even when you’re apart? That’s ridiculous.

Visual_Balance8617 said:

NTA he is beyond selfish for the request. That is like saying I’m allergic to dogs so you can’t volunteer at the shelter cause you will have contact even if you shower after contact.

Latter-Shower-9888 said:

NTA - you are allowed to eat peanut butter when he isn’t around.

human-foie-gras said:

My ex was deathly allergic to peanuts. Like I had an epi pen in my purse at all times. He didn’t give a f$k if I wanted to have peanuts when we weren’t going to see each other. NTA.

Serious_Watercress38 said:

NTA. Ummmm…he’s not entitled to controlling what you eat, the cake was for you, a person allergy free who can consume a peanut butter cake, he’s got some nerve assuming that every single little thing in your life has to revolve around him.

Note to anyone planning on controlling what their partner eats when they're not around...have you tried taking a deep, peanut-free breath?

Sources: Reddit
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