Woman doesn't 'appreciate' that her roommate told her BF she's a stripper; AITA?
Are you supposed to lie about what you do for a living in your own home, just in case it happens to make your petty roommate jealous?
Being an accountant is work, being a stripper is a work, and all work (even Instagram influencing) is work. So, when a conflicted young woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about an awkward kitchen interaction with her roommate's boyfriend, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
AITA for telling my roommate’s bf that I’m a stripper?
I (21F) have been a stripper for about a year now. I’m open about it with people, my family knows what I do, I’m not ashamed of it at all. I was on the verge of being homeless when I started and now just recently I was able to pay my rent for a year.
I have 2 roommates. They know what I do, asked some questions about it in the beginning but they’re very accepting. People in our age group don’t tend to care.
The issue:
I was in the kitchen making myself some dinner when my roommate (also 21F) walked in with her boyfriend. He’s coming to visit for a few days. They started making themselves some food as well so we exchanged some small talk.
He asked what I’m studying in school and I told him that I’m taking a break from school for a few months and pretty much just focusing on work. He asked what I do for work and I told him I’m a stripper. He was pretty much like “oh cool” and we moved on.
I finished up and went back into my room to eat. Didn’t think anything of it but I got a text from my roommate later that night. She said she “really didn’t appreciate me telling her bf that I’m a stripper especially dressed the way I was.”
I was confused bc I was wearing shorts and a tank top which is what I literally always wear around the house and I also didn’t know her bf was coming so it’s not like I was planning it out. I told her that I’m sorry she was uncomfortable but I tell anyone who asks what I do because I’m not ashamed of it and I was just wearing what I normally do.
She said that “I should know better than anyone what a male mind is going to imagine when they see a woman wearing revealing clothes who then says she gets naked for money.” Then said that I’m used to seeking out male attention.
I truly didn’t know how to respond and still don’t, the conversation made me pretty uncomfortable and I’ve pretty much just tried to stay in my room the past few days.
I am aware that the nature of my job is sexual and I know that some men will “fetishize” me for lack of a better word. So I do understand why she’d be upset about it I just don’t think I did anything directly wrong?
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this mess. Here's what people had to say:
LoveBeach8 said:
NTA (Not the As*hole). You did NOTHING wrong. She's the one with the problem. You pay rent to live there.ou're an equal tenant who's allowed to dress in shorts and a tank top in your own home.
You were dressed decently and didn't know her bf was coming over and even if she had told you, why should you dress any differently? You can't control what he (or anyone else, for that matter) thinks.
HE asked YOU what you did for work and you were honest. Were you supposed to lie? F that! You have nothing to be ashamed about. You make an honest living. She's the AH.
PolyPolyam said:
NTA absolutely. I have a friend who started out as a stripper/pole dancer. She paid for college with it. Then her wedding and honeymoon. Her hubby wasn't ashamed. She got a business degree in college and ended up starting one of those pole dancing schools. I tried her class once. So much respect...It's so hard.
float05 said:
NTA. Her boyfriend knows strippers exist. If he wanted to get a lap dance he could any night of the week. If she thinks meeting one in real life-one who isn’t even interested in him- is going to mess with their relationship, then she not only has no respect for what you do, but she has no respect for him either.
Zestyclose-Egg6211 said:
NTA. You should ask her what lie you're supposed to tell the next person to make her comfortable and watch her not be able to respond with a legit answer. If you don't answer the question, people will think you're doing something illegal or under the table for work and you probably don't want that.
It's your job. She can get over it. If she thinks her boyfriend is going to make a move on you because he knows your profession, she either needs to reevaluate her relationship or some insecurity issues.
DontAskMeChit said:
NTA. He asked a question and you answered it. She should have given you a heads up that she was going to bring company around. Don't let her project her insecurities on to you. Tell her to give you a heads up when she has company coming over so you can dress accordingly (if you want to), other than that, you are not going to hide who you are for anyone.
So, there you have it...
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman wasn't at all wrong to tell her roommate's boyfriend the truth about her job as she shouldn't be ashamed of it. If her roommate's jealous or spinning fantasies aboiut what her boyfriend is imagining then that's something she can sort out on her own. Good luck to everyone when lease renewal season comes around...