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Woman doesn't believe that boyfriend 'suddenly became gay' due to the 'altitude difference' in Utah. AITA?

Woman doesn't believe that boyfriend 'suddenly became gay' due to the 'altitude difference' in Utah. AITA?

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"AITA for not believing my boyfriend that 'suddenly became gay' due to 'the altitude difference' when he was on a work trip in Utah?"

I can hardly believe that I am writing this or that it happened, but I am and it did so here we go. I (28 F) have been with my boyfriend (29 M) for 3 years. Every now and then he has to go to Utah for a few days because his team has a customer service branch that operates out there.

I got a text from one his co-workers who has become a friend of ours and it said that on the trip my boyfriend cheated on me with some guy on the customer care team. I did not believe it at first. Because first of all my boyfriend has always identified as straight. And second of all I just couldn't believe it.

When he got home I asked him about it, basically expecting him to confirm it was nonsense. Instead he got real quiet and had us sit down and said he had to tell me something. He said it was true, he did have a "one night stand" with a guy. I couldn't believe it. I asked him if he was telling me he was gay? Or bisexual? And regardless cheating is cheating.

He insisted he was not gay at all but "the strangest thing happened". He said that when he was at dinner with his Utah co-workers, he "suddenly became gay". I was like...what? What the f? He said he thinks it was "due to the altitude."

I was like, you're messing with me right? But he said after he had done it with this guy, he got really confused as to how "all of the sudden he was gay." He said that higher altitudes can have an impact on how people think, and on their emotions, and he thinks that the high altitude made him gay, temporarily. He said that as soon as he landed back home he was "back to being straight."

I was like, did he get drugged or something? But he said that was not possible, they were always in a group at dinner which is when he "became gay" and was only alone with the guy afterwards.

He said he had done a lot of thinking on the drive back from the airport and he "confirmed within himself that he is straight" and that his "only conclusion" could be that he was "temporarily turned gay due to the attitude."

I was like, whatever, I guess we are breaking up. He looked at me confused. I was like, gay or not you did cheat on me. He said it wasn't his fault and that "human actions are just a byproduct of accidental brain chemistry" and that "his chemistry had been altered, through no fault of his own, due to the higher altitudes of Utah."

He said he "couldn't believe" I would blame him for something "medical and scientific" that was out of his control. He really looked bewildered that I was angry about this. I don't know maybe he's convincing and I'm a rube, but I am starting to wonder if I am overreacting.

Like...I know it sounds insane, but IS it possible to accidentally change your sexual orientation due to emotional changes brought on by altitude? Is that possible? And if it is, am I overreacting? Should I throw away a 3 year relationship for this? He's acting like I'm being rude and weird. I'm confused.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Catisbackthatsafact said:

Even if it were possible, and it's not. He's telling you that he can't help but cheat on you because "human actions are just a byproduct of accidental brain chemistry". Even if he's not into dudes anymore, there's plenty of girls he can cheat with because by his own admission, he can't control himself when he's attracted to someone. NTA.

Fredredphooey said:

NTA. I really hope this is fake because you can't possibly believe his craziness. Block him and move on. He's gay. He's trying to guilt you into staying with him because he's buried in the closet.

Big_Ant5209 said:

NTA. This is absolutely not a “thing.” Are you just supposed to allow him to be with a dude every time he’s in Utah for work? I think when people are remorseful and apologetic, couples can potentially work through infidelity. Where there is no remorse, there is no reconciliation. I’m sorry this happened to you.

Square-Jellyfish-632 said:

This is the funniest thing I've read all day. His desires turned him gay, nothing else. Now he's trying to gaslight you into thinking everything other than his desires/actions are the problem. I'd rather find out after 3 years that my EX bf cheats, lies, doesn't take accountability then blames it on me than find out after 30 years he's been banging dudes on the side the entire time. His denial is palpable.

1re_endacted1 said:

NTA. You’re confused, it’s called GASLIGHTING. If him cheating on you is not enough to make you leave him, the gaslighting should be. Thats psychological abuse.

MaddRamm said:

NTA. I’ve been in the mountains and valleys of Utah with friends before. None of us magically turned gay. He’s a cheating dirt bag either way you look at it. Leave him.

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