'AITA for not going to my best friend's wedding after she said I won’t be made of honor?'
"AITA for not going to my best friend's wedding after she said I won’t be made of honor?"
My best friend asked me to be her maid of honor, and I said yes.
I put aside a good chunk of money, so I could pay about $3000, to be exact. I was hoping I didn't have to spend this much, but I did it to be safe.
I've put out a lot of money for this wedding. I'm currently in a tough spot with cash; I try to make this clear with her but to no avail
So to tell you what, I spent money on wedding attire, shoes, jewelry, accessories, bridal shower, a.k.a. decorations, games, food, etc. had to pay to go to her wedding itself. I again pitched in with her bachelorette party, decorations, food, etc.
I even spent the money on a hotel, and I had to spend money on hair and make-up for the wedding, which was 250 per hour because of the person she chose. OVER BUDGET.
Well, we got closer and closer to the date, and we picked out bridesmaid dresses.
Anyways we finally found the dress that she picked. I have no problem with the dress itself, it was beautiful. I loved it, but I wouldn't say I liked the price. An average bridesmaid dress costs $150-$200. These were $450 each.'
There were six bridesmaids, I'm sorry, that would equal 2,700 dollars, that is a huge hell no I've already spent more than I wanted to, and I reminded her that she would have to start paying for these things because I'm reaching my limit.
My mother can make these herself for a much lower price; she’s good at it, so I offered that, but it wasn’t good enough. She (in my opinion) tried to gaslight me, saying that she wanted to get them from here, she didn’t want to risk anything happening.
I said that I wouldn’t be paying for this at all. I'm already a thousand dollars over my budget, so that I won’t be paying for anything else.
She got upset, saying that I agreed to this wedding, I knew it would be expensive, and as a maid of honor, it is my job to do this for her, and I haven’t even spent a quarter of what she’s spent on this wedding, I said yeah because it is not my wedding.
She started getting upset and raising her voice at me, saying that I needed to stop trying to force my “CHEAP lifestyle down her throat” she ended it by saying I shouldn’t be made of honor
To which I said I shouldn’t be there at all since she feels so entitled to me and my money and left; I got loads of calls and messages from everyone cussing me out, but my flight was paid for, so I still went there, just not to the wedding and got a different hotel, and BOY people are so mad at me that I have no one on my side here, but everyone and their mother is on my a** right now, so AITA
Here's what people had to say to OP:
INFO - the money on hotel, hair and makeup - was this just for yourself? Or for bridesmaids/bride too??
kateymand OP:
Myself and bridesmaids.
I cannot get my head around this, it's completely exploitative. NTA a million percent and ditch that terrible friend.
bdlock209 says:
wait... what?
SINCE WHEN IS IT F*CKING NORMAL FOR THE MAID OF HONOR TO F*CKING PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S WEDDING EXPENSES???!!!
chicagovkk says:
I don’t know where you live and the wedding traditions but overall it seems like you are paying for a lot more than you should be as MOH. I’ve never heard of the MOH paying for all the bridesmaid dresses. I’ve heard of the individual bridesmaids paying for their dresses or the bride. I’ve also heard the same about hair and makeup.
It seems to me that the bride is taking advantage of you and wants you to it for things that are traditionally the bridal couple’s responsibility.
taytek says:
F*%$ no NTA. She sounds like an entitled leach, and you even offered for your mom to make them for her. NTAx100
NTA .. kinda...It's bonkers that she expects you to pay for all that stuff. It's her outlandish, expensive wedding and she and her partner needs to pay for all that. If it was your wedding ok, but it's not. You set your boundaries and she seems pretty selfish and high maintenance