Woman won't let sister announce her pregnancy at wedding. AITA?

When this bride sets boundaries with her sister, she asks the internet:

"AITA for refusing to let my sister announce her pregnancy at my wedding?"

I (28F) got married last weekend, and it was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life. My sister (31F), and I have always had a close but competitive relationship. She has a tendency to make things about her, but I didn't think she'd do anything on my wedding day.

About a week before the wedding, Emily told me that she was pregnant. I was super excited for her and congratulated her right away. But then she asked if she could announce her pregnancy at my wedding reception.

She said it would be the perfect time since all of our family and friends would be there, and it would be such a joyful surprise to add to the wedding.

I told her that while I was thrilled for her, my wedding day was about me and my fiance, and I didn't want her announcement to overshadow our celebration. She got upset and said I was being selfish and that this was a big moment for her too.

I suggested she announce it the next day when everyone would still be around, but she insisted that it wouldn't be the same.

The day of the wedding arrived, and I was nervous that she might try to do it anyway. During her toast, I could see her start to tear up and hint at something big, so I quickly grabbed the mic and thanked her for her kind words before she could continue. She was stunned and upset, but she sat down without saying more.

After the wedding, She confronted me and said I humiliated her in front of everyone. She said that I ruined what could have been a happy day for both of us. My parents are also upset with me, saying that I could have handled it better and that I should apologize for embarrassing her.

Now I'm second-guessing myself. AITA for not letting my sister announce her pregnancy at my wedding?

blueappel writes:

NTA- your parents are being biased. You embarrassed her because she got caught doing something she was expressly forbidden from doing. A wedding reception is not a family reunion. It is a party thrown for 2 specific people.

Anyone making big announcements during that time is failing to honor the couple on the one day that is all about them. It’s your sister who owes you an apology.

How do your parents want that apology from you to go- I’m sorry I firmly refused your request to announce your pregnancy at my wedding and that you failed to comprehend my seriousness.

I don’t know how else I could have said “No” so that it would have been easier for you to understand. It’s my fault for failing to say “No” in simple and clear to understand language.

Furthermore, I’m sorry that you felt embarrassed when I took the mic from you. That must have been humiliating for you, having been caught like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar. I know people hate being caught in the act of disobedience and I’m sorry it happened to you in front of an audience.

I should have had the foresight to not allow you an opportunity to give a speech since I knew you’d be weak and selfish. I did you a disservice when I trusted you could use your good judgement for one day and set you up for failure. Again, this is all my fault. I’m so, so sorry.

daga7 writes:

NTA. You already said she has a tendency to be competitive and make things about her. I’m lucky to not have many family or friends like this but I’ve been around this type of person before and they are relentless.

Sis didn’t take no for an answer when she (thankfully) asked in advance. Getting your parents involved as flying monkeys was her way of still making it about her if her ambush failed. As a 31 year old woman myself, I wouldn’t dream of overshadowing my sister on her big day; especially if she told me not to.

Your sister is giving narcissist for even being upset/dragging this out. Your sister and family owe you an apology for not respecting YOU and almost embarrassing YOU. Your wedding, your day, your rules. I’m just surprised she didn’t want to wear white to your wedding as well.

maineg writes:

NTA. Your sister is selfish and entitled and she should be ashamed of herself for TRYING to hjack your wedding to make it about herself. Especially after you expressly told her NO beforehand. If your sister feels embarrassed she has no one but herself to blame. She owes you a HUGE apology!!

Furthermore your parents are AH for trying to enable and excuse this type of disrespect on such an important day in your life. If I were you I would go very LC with them all and enjoy your newly married life without them until they are all willing to acknowledge they are in the wrong and give you genuine apologies.