Woman doesn't want MIL in her child's life AT ALL. AITA?
"AITA? My mother in law wants to be in our child’s life and I don’t want that at all."
My mother in law has been disgusting towards me for the past 6 years. She’s passive aggressively attacked my character, my weight, my appearance, and even my mother. When i was pregnant with my first, she didn’t seem happy at all & she told my partner that baby wasn’t his.
And then when i confronted her about it she said it’s because she caught me speaking on the phone with another man. It was a bold face lie. When my mother confronted her about saying that she told my mom she never said that.
When my partner confronted her again about it she told him that he shouldn’t have told me so it’s his fault (she said the comment in a different language that i didn’t understand but i still knew what she said because of her behavior.) she purposely missed LO’s first birthday because, to my partner, she wanted to hurt him as she has been hurt.
When my mother confronted her she told my mother that it’s because she wasn’t invited (she was invited. I sent her an invitation). So my partner and I decided to remove ourselves from her. FIL keeps trying to tell us to bring LO over to see them but we dont really want to nor do we have the time.
I’ve done nothing to this lady except for stick up for myself when those nasty comments about me cheating happens and i wasn’t disrespectful towards her. When we do visit the in laws i say hi and bye and keep it moving. She tries to show love to my daughter but im not buying it.
She confronted my partner about not seeing LO and that she wanted to speak with me. When i showed up she punked out and we didn’t talk at all. She went in another room with my partner and spoke about how she felt about the past and why she behaved the way she did/does.
He wasn’t buying it. When they were done speaking, she came out and told LO that she would start to visit more. Fast forward to 3 months later, LO turned two and mil decides to show up with two balloons and an ugly build a bear with her voice in a push button. I’m not having it.
I don’t want her around at all. I’m done trying. I’m done sharing my child with this lady. I don’t want anything to do with her despite this being my partners mother. Partner gets why I’m upset but thinks I’m not trying to move forward. But how can i when this ugly spirited woman cannot be trusted.
She will never be able to be alone with my children. Ever. Am i the a hole because i don’t want her to even try to bond or be in my children’s lives? I’m pregnant with our second btw. And i just don’t want anything to do with her
Let's see what readers thought:
bluezoot writes:
ESH. I would have said NTA, but you allowed/let your mother get involved on your behalf which only added to the drama.
There sure are a lot of confrontations with no resolutions. Have fun.
greaaop writes:
Nta. My mother always says how much she wants to see my kids. The oldest is 6. I can on one hand how many times she has seen all three of my kids. And she has never reached out to come see them, spend time with them, but tells people she doesnt have a relationship with them because of me. No.
I am not reaching out to people who won't talk to me. We can chit chat about gardening, but I'm not bringing up you seeing my kids. You can do that on our own. Since they're so special to you right? They mean the world to you right? You love them so much right? Uh huh. But you don't see them?
3 months between "I want to be more involved" to actually coming around. That's closed now. We can revisit you being in their lives later. Have fun.
fortaggg writes:
Nta. You are not obligated to move forward and forgive and forget your bully. She bullied you, implied you were cheating and doesn't show remorse.
Your husband needs to accept that there is no going forward: he can visit but you and your daughter will not because she can't be trusted to tell lies about you to your daughter. You are a unit.