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Woman embarrasses man bragging at party, 'I thought you were a cashier;' AITA?

Woman embarrasses man bragging at party, 'I thought you were a cashier;' AITA?


Never assume that you know more--or make more money--than anyone else, especially at a casual board game night with strangers...

So, when a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about an awkward situation with a man from 'coding boot camp,' people were ready to hear the gossip.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling a guy what I do for work and letting him pay for my drinks during the whole evening?

My friend 'Grace' invited me to a board game bar to play and have drinks with her, her boyfriend and one of their friend's 'Nick.' We went to get drinks in pairs, Grace going with her boyfriend, meanwhile Nick and I stayed at the table and vice versa. So Nick and I had plenty of time to talk just the two of us.

Nick started the night by telling about his recent career change, he decided to quit his previous job, go to a coding boot camp, and he got a job as a developer one or two months ago. He was very proud of himself and his new salary and told me this multiple times.

He never asked me what I do for work, but talked about his new job quite a lot, occasionally saying 'sorry, you don't understand that, haha.'

During the entire evening, I never told him I has been working as a software engineer for the past 4 years, because he never asked and honestly, I found it a bit entertaining.

When it came to the drinks, he invited me to every single one. 'Don't worry about it, it's not a problem with my developer salary.' I told him multiple times he doesn't have to pay for me, but he insisted.

At the end of the night, when we were saying our goodbyes, he took out his phone to send me a friend request on Facebook. My job is listed in my profile, so that was when he realized that I'm software engineer.

He asked me if it's true that I'm a software engineer and I answered yes. He asked me why I haven't told him, why did I let him believe I was a cashier like Grace used to be (?? I never implied that), and why did I let him pay for everything when I probably earn more than him.

I told him that he never once asked and it was his fault he assumed. He could have simply asked me about my job, but he only wanted to brag about his. But if he wants me to, I can pay him back for the drinks.

He was a angry and said I made a fool out of him. I think he did that, not me. But now Grace and her boyfriend are on his side too, saying that it would've cost me nothing to tell him early in the evening and I only kept it for myself for my own entertainment. Well, I did find it entertaining, but I don't really feel like I did anything wrong. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this board game night disaster:

NeverIncorrectBanana said:

NTA. As a fellow female software engineer I know what this is like, and I would have done the same. I have sat and listened to men brag about what they do and how much they make and offer to buy me drinks at events we are at. I am married, my husband is there with me, they still do it.

He laughs and let's them pay. When they bring up how much they make (we live in a fairly low median income area) it's usually well below what I make. Haven't had anyone make more, or even close yet. My husband will chime in and call me his sugar momma, which is hilarious.

Frankly if their self worth is based on their job and they didn't ask about yours (I also would tell them if they asked, they never do) then they deserved it.

FedeRreal said:

NTA. He wanted to brag and he was a bit sexist, he deserved this lesson.

mongoosedog12 said:

This is like the classic “girls only want me for my money” bullsh*t. Offers to pay for her drinks the whole time, brags about his salary while doing it, assumes she works a minimum wage job.

Gets mad at her for letting him pay for her sh*t when he finds out she makes just as much if not more. No one MADE you pay for her drinks. You offered, which was just a form of flashing your money.

TaxiJab said:

Not only are you NTA, you’re an absolute f*cking LEGEND.

[deleted] said:

Nick was bragging. You played along with it. It probably never occurred to him that women can be software engineers. It was probably quite entertaining, although you probably wouldn't want him as a boyfriend. NTA.

ElvisCresposblanket said:

NTA. He wanted to flaunt his career and money, but it backfired because he never bothered to ask about you.

Wild_Exit_5925 said:

NTA NTA NTA NTA! As a female software engineer myself, I love this soo much. Would love to do this to all of the men who are always surprised that I’m a software engineer.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman wasn't at all wrong to 'withhold' her career considering she was never once asked about it. Hopefully 'Nick' learns his lesson and he can avoid some well-deserved embarrassment (and an expensive bar tab) in the future. Good luck, everyone.

Sources: Reddit
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