Woman's engagement broken because fiancé's doesn't like her maid-of-honor. UPDATED

"Engagement broken because of my MOH. I'm in shock."

I (F27) was about to get married to my fiance (M26) in a few months because of my choice of MoH. When he proposed to me, I went through the cheeky "happiest girl alive" schtick. We went through the announcements and both of our families were excited for the wedding.

Until we told our parents about our Best man/MoH. he chose his older brother while I chose my BFF (F28). His family, treated my choice like I didn't decided who would be my MoH and "gave me time" to select one.

Every time I mentioned that my BFF would be my MoH, they shrugged it off and reminded me that I needed to pick my MoH before the wedding ceremony.

Some of their antics included blocking my BFF from the dress fitting (claiming that only the MoH can go with them) and preventing my BFF from picking a MoH dress because "that is reserved only for the MoH".

My BFF and I told my FMIL that my BFF is my MoH, but she brushed it off and told me that I need to pick a MoH before the wedding.

A few days later, my fiance asked who my MoH is, I told him it is my BFF and that's final. He took my hand and took off the ring saying, "I can't value someone that doesn't value family." He left. Engagement broken. Myself dumbfounded on what the living hell happened.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

felin writes:

Of all the things to get hung up on. It's absolutely your own choice who you have in your wedding party. If they can't respect that, then it's on them. It's not like you stated that your moh choice was somehow controversial, like she's a bad friend to you or a terrible person to other people.

I just can't wrap my head around their rudeness and the decision to end everything over your rightfully given choice of moh. This is a person who wanted to spend the rest of their life with you (and vice versa) for them to just leave like that, I would be so confused and hurt.

I'm here to tell you (along with everyone else here) that you did nothing wrong. If you can't have a say in who your moh is at your own wedding, what else were they going to decide for you; or not allow you to decide for yourself! This was just the tip of the iceberg and if they felt so comfortable doing this, much worse things were in store for you.

I'm sorry you are hurting, but I'm so happy that you didn't attach yourself to someone and a family like that.

ngmm02

So who did they want to be selected as the MOH? His sister or something?

Justitia_Justitia

I feel like there is something missing here. Is your BFF a different race or religion by chance?

But also, can you imagine your life with a husband who takes this kind of bs from his parents & doesn't support you? The red flags on this! Glad you found out about what a dickbag your ex-boyfriend is, before you tied the knot.

alienatpoenguin had an interesting theory:

But the twist is the fiancé previously had a crush on BFF, he finally got the courage to profess his undying affection and ask her out she turned him down and introduced him to her friend, OP.

He started dating OP, and played the long con and after what he thought was an appropriate amount of time, asked her to marry him in order to make BFF jealous and run back to him. When that didn’t happened, he got angry.

He got even angrier when she asked BFF to be MoH and she actually agreed!!! The nerve! He told his mom who was appalled that someone dared turn down her perfect baby boy. They decided that OP would do as second best for the wife, but her choice of MoH was not acceptable.

They tried their hardest to get her to change her mind, but her resolve was too strong! In a fit of rage, he broke off the engagement, went back to his mother, sat in her lap, and cried inconsolably because he didn’t get his way.

Mother dearest stroked his hair, rocking her perfect baby boy, telling him how pet and wonderful he was and how he deserved so much better and how mommy would take care of him.

6 hours later OP came back with this update in a new post:

Wow. So many questions. Let's answer the obvious ones. Are my BFF and ex-fiance Xes? No. The engagement party was their first meeting. My X and I went to the same college and my BFF went to a different one. Race/religion involved? No.

A few hours after my original post, I found out from one of his relatives why my X said that I had "no family values". It turns out that, his family, the MoH/Best Man roles are RESERVED FOR SIBLINGS. I have 2 sisters, one older (F30) and one younger (F21).

Neither were interested because my older sister was mad at my X for trying to set her up with one of his male co-workers AT HER OWN WEDDING TO HER WIFE. He did the same thing to her wife. I didn't know about this until AFTER the broken engagement.

My younger sister isn't interested because she was busy with her own college work (She took extra courses so she could graduate early). X tried to convince her to drop out of college to be a MoH. I guess I dodged a nuke of that one.

Here's what people had to say to OP after the update:

jenncc80

What a psycho! If he’s already trying to micromanage your MOH choice imagine how he’d be if y’all had kids!. You definitely dodged a bullet!

marcelyns

Without even telling her it was a family tradition! This is one of the stupidest things to stupid that have ever stupided.

blondeheartedgoddess:

Nice of them to assume you knew THEIR family rules about the MOH position. Too bad they didn't allow you the chance to explain your choice. Also too bad your older sister didn't tell you about the attempted fix-ups until after the engagement ended.

Wow I’m so glad you are no longer in this relationship. The way he and his family behaved indicates they would have trampled you and your feelings/wants throughout the marriage. I am sure part of you is sad as you loved him but take comfort in knowing you don’t have to deal with this.

Thank the gods you stood your ground regarding your choice. You dodged a full nuclear arsenal.