My friend 39F lives in another state with her two sons ages 18 and 16. My boyfriend 34M and me 34F are hosting a Halloween party this month. We are going to have it in the parking lot of my bf's business that he owns and set up a tent and dance floor outside.
Because we both still live with our parents, and I live 1 hour away from the county that he and all my friends live in (I am originally from that county), so nobody would want to come to a party at my house anyways, because I live too far away. The party is mostly my friends (a lot of my bfs friends moved away or died).
We hired a bartender and got Halloween themed games and I have another friend flying in from out of state by herself, and a different friend making a 12 hour drive by himself to come to the party. We're expecting 20 - 30 people to come to the party. The people I invited to the party are ages 25 - 39. There are no teenagers invited to the party.
My friend asked me if the party is family friendly, I told her it was an adult party. She tried to convince me her teenage sons are grown enough for an adult party. I've met her kids, they're very mature for their age, in terms of doing their chores and being polite, but still very obviously teenagers in mindset. They're well behaved though very innocent and a bit naive.
I told my friend I thought having teens at the party would throw the vibe off and she seemed to be offended, she said "why are you calling them teens like they are 12" and said "why would they throw off the vibe you think they're loud obnoxious children?" She said her kids deserve to have fun too. I told her I thought they were too young and she argued that they're not too young.
She also said she needed a place to stay because it would cost her $600 to trip here from out of state with her sons and she didn't have money for an airbnb. I told her my mom would let her stay at our place but not the kids bc my mom wouldn't want that many people staying at her house.
She said she would respect my decision and just not go to my party. When I told my bf about it he said I should have just let the kids come to the party, but when I explained to him I didn't want our guests to wonder who these random teenagers are, or allow the presence of teenagers to affect how relaxed they are able to be, he said he understood my point of view.
The kids would have previously met 2 other party guests though. So I guess they would have been able to hang out with those 2 guys. Am I the ahole for not inviting her kids to my party?
I never once went to an adult party as a teenager (or any party) my first party I was 22 and there were no teens. I've never been to a party with teenagers present. So it seems weird to me to have teenagers present.
NTA. If the kids get into the booze, it can become a legal nightmare.
NTA. It sounds like your friend is a single mom, and I’m sure that’s tough. But this is definitely an adult party. On top of wanting her teen sons to come, she’s also looking for free accommodation. You’re helping throw this party; you don’t need to extra burden of a dependent guest.
NTA. This is an adult party where alcohol is being served. While 18 is close to adult, 16 is clearly not. Your friend was right to accept that no minors were invited.
NTA If I were another adult at that party, I wouldn’t want a 16 and 18 year old there because then I wouldn’t feel able to make the jokes or have the adult conversations I want to have. It’s not even about the alcohol - it’s that I don’t want to be around teenagers when I’m hanging out with other adults.
She doesn’t have a sitter or money for a place to stay. She needs to opt out of this trip. As parents, that’s normal. NTA.
LOL at "why are you calling them teens like they're 12?" Does she not know what a teen is? If they are so mature at 16&18, then they should be able to stay home alone for a day or two. And they probably don't even want to come.