I (29F) have been married to my husband (31M) for five years. We’ve had a good relationship overall, but there’s always been one issue: his “girl best friend,” Megan (30F). She’s been in his life since childhood, and while I’ve always felt a bit uneasy about their closeness, I trusted my husband and tried to be cool with it.
Megan is always around. She’s at our house constantly, they text all the time, and she even comes on family vacations with us. Every time I brought up how their friendship made me uncomfortable, my husband would brush it off, saying she’s “practically a sister” and that I was overreacting.
To make matters more complicated, my mother-in-law (58F) is amazing. She’s always had my back and has told me multiple times that if Megan made me uncomfortable, I should talk to my husband about setting boundaries.
On the other hand, my father-in-law (60M) has a very different attitude. He adores Megan and has always said that she’s part of the family and that I “just need to deal with it.” He thinks my discomfort with their friendship is just “jealousy.”
Fast forward to two months ago. My husband started acting distant. Coming home late, being secretive with his phone, and just… off. I had a gut feeling something was wrong, so one night, I went through his phone while he was in the shower. That’s when I found out—he and Megan had been having an affair for months. I was crushed.
I confronted him, and he admitted everything. He swore it was a mistake, said he loved me, and begged me not to leave him. I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed quiet for a bit, trying to process everything.
A couple of weeks later, my in-laws hosted a big family BBQ. I was still reeling from the affair, but my husband convinced me to come, saying we needed to “keep up appearances” while we worked things out. I went, but I was a wreck inside, especially knowing Megan would be there.
Sure enough, Megan showed up like nothing had happened, acting all friendly with everyone, including me. I was boiling inside, but I kept it together. Then, during dinner, my father-in-law made some offhand comments about how Megan would “always be part of the family” and that I needed to “get over” my insecurities. He said this in front of everyone. That was my breaking point.
I stood up, looked straight at him, and said, “You know what? I would get over it if she wasn’t sleeping with my husband.” The entire table went silent. Megan’s face turned white, and my husband tried to calm me down, but I wasn’t having it. I told everyone exactly what had been going on—the sneaking around, the lies, the betrayal.
My mother-in-law was furious, but not at me. She laid into my husband and Megan, saying they’d destroyed our marriage and disrespected me. My father-in-law, though, had the audacity to say I was “overreacting” and that “affairs happen” but I shouldn’t have aired it out in front of the family. He even defended Megan, saying she made a “mistake” and we should all move on.
I left the BBQ and have been staying with my mom ever since. My husband keeps begging me to come home, and my mother-in-law has been supportive, but my father-in-law is telling the whole family that I’m the one causing drama and blowing things out of proportion. AITA for exposing their affair in front of everyone at the BBQ? Should I have kept it private, or was I right to call them out after everything?
MIL and I are very close should I show her what u guys are saying about FIL possibly cheating and see if she wants to look into that? Their marriage has been very rocky and she has been wanting to get out of it but he has been the breadwinner for years. There are no kids involved my soon to be ex-husband can’t have kids.
After seeing some of the comments about FIL maybe wanting to sleep with Megan I asked MIL if there was something weird going on there or if she knew if he’d cheated before. They have been married for a long time he’s cheated 10 times.
One that you guys might find important is he slept with Megan’s mother maybe that’s why he loves her so much. As far as she knows he didn’t sleep with Megan. The other 8 were people he worked with and 1 of them was an old high school friend.
MIL told FIL to get a DNA test with Megan or she’s divorcing him. He said he would try and schedule something tomorrow. I’m very glad I came to Reddit with this or some stuff we are finding out wouldn’t have come to light. If Megan is ex husband's sister that would be hilarious and would be their problem.
Also, MIL is getting a divorce no matter what but he doesn’t know that yet she just decided an hour ago. Yes, I will be helping her with a place to stay and she wants to get into real estate with me so I’ll be trying to pull some strings and help her out in every way I possibly can.
She has seen all the comments and with Reddit and my support gave her the strength to leave. It’s a painful situation for both of us but I'm glad we are going through this together so we can have each other's support. When the DNA test results come back if it for sure happens she will be cutting off my ex-husband and FIL.
I also wanted to say that FIL was sleeping with Megan’s mother for maybe a month or 2 that’s why MIL thinks the timelines add up. And yes FIL knew about the affair that boils my blood he isn’t even a decent enough human to tell me about it. If it was me or MIL cheating both FIL and ex-husband would be very pissed.
Some of you asked why he didn't just marry his best friend. At the beginning of me and my ex-husband's relationship, she was in a serious relationship. I'm assuming when he would go and comfort her after they broke up that's when it started.
My husband did try to contact me but I was told not to block him but it's getting hard to ignore the text. Megan contacted me.
Bubbledew08 said:
Props to you for standing up for yourself and not letting your father-in-law's comments slide. And hey, at least now you know why your husband was always so accommodating to Megan
GenevieveLexi said:
NTA. Your husband and Megan betrayed your trust, and you had every right to express your feelings, especially after being dismissed and disrespected. Your father-in law's comments were incredibly insensitive, and it's understandable that you reached your breaking point.
jialulu_ said:
NTA for exposing your husband’s affair, especially after your father-in-law dismissed your feelings. It sounds like you reached a breaking point after keeping everything bottled up, and it was unfair for them to act like nothing was wrong. You deserve to stand up for yourself, and it’s important to address betrayal openly, especially in front of family.
CandaceColis said:
NTA. Your husband and Megan betrayed your trust, and you had every right to express your feelings, especially after being dismissed and disrespected. Your father-in-law's comments were incredibly insensitive, and it's understandable that you reached your breaking point.
Ifiwerenyourshoes said:
NTA, NTA, NTA, and again NTA. Keep up the good work. What makes a cheater hate it even more is when you can read their messages and not respond.
Curious_Platform7720 said:
NTA. Control the narrative. Cheaters hate when their deeds are public knowledge.