Woman bails on girls' trip over boyfriend of two weeks, 'I thought she was bluffing.' AITA?
"AITA for letting my friend cancel her plane ticket after we argued about her bringing her new boyfriend on our girls’ trip?"
So, my best friend and I have been planning a girls' trip to Barcelona for months. We’ve always talked about doing this, and it was something we were both really excited about. The plan was simple—just the two of us, catching up, exploring the city, and enjoying some time together.
But about two weeks before our flight, she started seeing someone new. I didn’t know him very well, but she was constantly talking about him, and it was clear she was really into him. Then, she told me she was thinking about inviting him to come along with us on the trip.
I didn’t think much of it at first, but as she kept pushing the idea, I got uncomfortable. This was supposed to be a girls’ trip, and I honestly didn’t want a third person, especially her boyfriend, tagging along.
I tried to be understanding but told her that I was really looking forward to some quality time with her, just the two of us. She got upset and said I was being unreasonable, that I should be happy she found someone special, and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I felt like I wasn’t being unreasonable, though. This was supposed to be our time, and I didn’t want the dynamic to shift.
The argument went back and forth for a couple of days. I kept telling her I was looking forward to our plans, just the two of us, and she kept insisting that her boyfriend could just come for a couple of days and it wouldn't be a big deal.
I didn’t agree, and eventually, she said that if I wasn’t okay with it, she’d just cancel the whole trip. I thought she was bluffing, but she actually went ahead and canceled her ticket.
She told me that if I wasn’t going to let her bring her boyfriend, she wasn’t going at all. I didn’t want to lose my best friend over this, but I also felt like I was right to want some time alone with her, especially since this was something we’d planned for so long.
Now I feel guilty but also frustrated. I didn’t want the trip to fall apart, but I also didn’t think I was wrong for wanting it to just be the two of us. Was I out of line, or is she being too dramatic? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
VirtualPanda89 said:
NTA. Two weeks is barely a relationship it’s more like dating. Does she often throw herself into guys like this? You aren’t TA for wanting to keep your original plans.
WorthSpecialist1066 said:
Your (ex) friend showed you who she was. Go to Barcelona and have an amazing time by yourself.
E97ev said:
All girls trip and a guy comes along without any previous talking. Yeah your friend has the "main protagonist" vibe. She better not come rather than coming with her new bf. NTA -- run from there. your best friend does not value you.
If she did there wouldn't be any discussion to be had. You wanted alone time together to connect. What you are gonna get is a third wheel or threesome. From what I'm reading both are equally possible
bry8eyes said:
NTA. If she is willing to cancel a trip planned long ago for a BF of 2 weeks, she isn’t your BFF or even a good friend.
No-Smell9940 said:
NTA, quality time or not. Who wants a stranger on their holiday and to be third wheeling. Find better friends. She's shown her true colors. She'll drop you for a man without a second thought.
JoannaLovePussey said:
NTA. It’s called a girls’ trip for a reason, not a "third-wheel-so-I-can-hear-you-two-flirt trip." Her new boyfriend could’ve stayed home for one trip, especially since y’all planned this forever. If she wants a romantic getaway, she can book one herself, not hijack your plans. Let her cancel—Barcelona deserves someone who can commit.
Complex-Influence-83 said:
NTA, but your “best friend” definitely is! So bizarre that she was insistent on bringing him with two weeks notice. It gives love bombing/ controlling vibes for her new relationship.