Woman flips out on brother for accusing mom of wearing a white dress to his wedding, 'THIS is the dress.' AITA?

"AITA for flipping out on my brother for accusing my mom of wearing a white dress so his wedding?"

So, here's the deal—I'm the younger sister in a very complicated family, and things have been tense since my brother G got married to Y. To give you some background, my relationship with Y has been rocky from the start, and she’s not exactly warm to my mom or any of my other relatives.

Anyway, the issue came up during their civil ceremony, where my mom wore this beautiful cocktail dress that has a white base, but the overlay is this bold, dark blue lace with ruffled sleeves.

Well, Y lost it. She completely flipped out and wanted to kick my mom out of the wedding, but somehow refrained from doing so. Since then, though, every time there’s a family conflict, Y and G always bring up the fact that my mom "wore white" at the wedding.

Yes, she wore white, but it’s literally not white—it’s a white base with blue lace! (this is the dress) I can't even! Now, almost a year later, my mom tries to talk things through with the family and rebuild the relationship, and G hits her with a list of grievances, including "You haven’t apologized to Y for wearing white."

I’m honestly about to lose it. Like, we’re still going back to this ridiculous dress issue? My mom is genuinely confused about why this is even a problem, and I’m just trying to defend her.

I feel like it’s completely unfair to keep bringing up something this petty, and at this point, I can’t help but feel like it’s just another excuse to attack her. Am I the ahole for wanting to stand up for my mom over this dumb dress situation? I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal!

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Expert-Bus9720 said:

NTA if that is the dress. Your brother and wife are unhinged.

plantprinses said:

The rule of not wearing white to someone else's wedding is meant to prevent people from mistaking who the bride is. I just looked at the dress your mother wore and if people, on the basis of this dress, mistook her for the bride they need to have their eyes checked.

No way there could have been confusion on who the bride is and who's not. I'm sorry your mother, who looks lovely in this dress, is the subject of her DIL's misinterpreting the "no white" rule for weddings. I'm glad she has a daughter who doesn't get carried away and holds an unnecessary grudge.

Mother_Search3350 said:

It's time you told your brother to get his balls out of his wife's purse and stop being an AH. If he is still that butthurt, he needs to stay home with his wife and stop coming to annoy all of you every time she puts her hand in her purse and squeezes his balls to make him a performing monkey. Nobody wore white to her wedding. She had a civil ceremony FFS!! NTA.

alice-dawn said:

NTA. Your brother and Y are acting like that dress personally walked down the aisle and said, “I do.” Like, be serious. A white base with dark blue lace is not the same as showing up in a bridal gown ready to toss a bouquet.

If they’re still holding onto this a year later, the real issue isn’t the dress it’s that they just wanna be mad at your mom. At this point, they should be invoicing her for the emotional rent she’s apparently paying in their heads.

Rigel-idk said:

If that's the dress, they are overreacting. NTA.

Ok_Zookeepergame5141 said:

That dress is blue. NTA. SIL is just using it to be angry. My SIL is the same way, ugly and putrid inside. She doesn't like your mom for some reason. Sounds like if started easy before the wedding. What's your mom's relationship with your brother like?

smarteapantz said:

NTA. Your sister-in-law and brother are reaaaching. Your mom’s dress is blue. There is no way she would be confused for the bride at any ceremony, especially a courthouse one. They just want to be mad about something, even if it’s made up, so they can put your mother under their thumb. What horrible people.

Let me ask, did your brother and Y also get mad at any of the men wearing a white shirt with their suits? How about at the judge or the witnesses? For God’s sake, white is not a sacred nor forbidden color at weddings in totality! The spirit of “not wearing white” is so you don’t upstage the bride by confusing guests about who’s the actual bride!

Your spineless brother and his wife are the biggest AHs making a fuss over nothing. Good job for defending your mother. Now, switch from defense to offense, and call them out on their BS!