Woman flips out when she finds over 1000 'secret' pictures of herself on her brother's phone. AITA? MAJOR UPDATES.
When this woman is extremely freaked out by what she uncovers on her brother's phone, she asks Reddit:
*Trigger warning*
"I just found really inappropriate disturbing pictures of myself on my brothers phone. What do I do? AITA?"
I’m freaking out and I really have no idea how to handle this or myself right now at all. I always wondered why people post such personal things on Reddit looking for comfort or advice. Now I understand because I truly can’t imagine talking to or telling anyone in my real life about this.
I asked my older brother to send me some pictures from a recent family trip we had. He was gaming and told me just to go through his camera roll and send them to myself.
I accidentally scrolled to the bottom of his albums page and noticed he had 1000s of pictures in the hidden section. I don’t know what morbid curiosity got the best of me or why I decided to click into it.
It took me a few seconds to process what I was seeing. I kept scrolling and now I know what people mean when they say their blood runs cold. They were all pictures of me.
From my quick maybe 2 minute scroll I didn’t see any pictures with my face included, but I can tell its my body, clothes, and our house in the background. I recognized pictures of my bed, his bed, the couch, the floor, a car. I’m dressed up in most pictures, and after thinking back I remember a couple of outfits from nights I’ve gone out.
The pictures are close ups of my body parts, my butt, panties under my skirt, top pulled down with my bra out etc. Some were full body shots with only my face cropped out. I saw a couple where there are hands suggestively on my body in the pictures.
At this point I internally panicked that my brother would turn around from his game and see my mortified face and realize what I saw. I felt like I was going to be sick, I almost feel like I blacked out, I sent myself the family trip pictures (don’t even remember doing this), I guess put his phone down and came up to my room.
Now my brain is running a million miles a second. I have no idea what to do or think. I feel such a genuine dread not just in my stomach but it feels like it’s washing over my whole body.
This happened a few hours ago and I’ve just been sitting with my thoughts since. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to tell anyone or think about this ever again but I know that’s not possible.
I can tell that this happened over many multiple occasions because of all the different clothing I’m wearing and different locations. I’m trying hard to remember specific outfits I saw in the pictures and think back to when I wore them, but everything is blurring together. I don’t know how far back it goes.
I’m really not great with alcohol or mixing substances. I do go out pretty often with my friends to drink and a lot of the time I get way too drunk too fast and get sick, black out, pass out. Sometimes I don’t remember how I get home, but figured my friends always made sure I made it.
I know my brothers picked me up a few times. I just recently turned 19 and can go out to the bars and buy alcohol. Before that my brother would buy booze for me and my friends, give us weed, etc. Of course me and my friends all loved it and they thought he was so cool. The more I think about everything, the sicker I start to feel.
I don’t know what to do. I almost wish I saw more, or I thought of these questions when I had the phone. I almost want to try and look in it again but don’t know if I can bring myself to do that.
I’m scared to come out of my room at all incase I can’t act normal and my family or him realizes something is up. I almost want to just try and pretend it never happened.
Before we give you OP's major update, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
thatkinkylady writes:
OP, try your best to hide your knowledge of this from your brother until you are able to steal his phone from him. I'd try to do it when he's asleep so you'll have time to act. As soon as you get a chance, take that phone.
Take a video with your phone of you opening up that folder and scrolling through all the photos. Then send all of those photos to yourself and delete the evidence you did so. Keep the phone, disable any "find my phone" type services on it if possible, and turn it off.
If your parents tend to be supportive, go to them and show them what you found, but don't give them his phone.
I'd hide it somewhere until you see their response. Maybe give it to a trusted friend to hold onto or put it in a safe or safety deposit box or somewhere outside the house if you can.
If they try to dismiss your concerns or defend him in any way, go to the police with his phone.
Unfortunately, I doubt your parents would go to the police with this regardless, but if they're pissed and disown him or get him into therapy or take some other action that feels like it's enough for you, you may be able to avoid the police situation.
Not that your brother deserves it at all, but getting the law involved is something a lot of victims prefer to avoid because it can be a pretty traumatic and difficult process.
What's most important in all this is that you get to take your power back. As soon as you have that evidence, you are back in control and you can decide what justice would look like to you and what is enough or not.
Your brother deserves prison, so please don't blame yourself for any of this, whatever happens next. Prioritize your safety first, getting evidence next, and then pursue whatever path that will empower you moving forward.
despwar writes:
Please be careful. I once stumbled across some site where people abuse their loved ones like putting sleeping pills in their water or whatever when they’re a bit drunk and then...It’s horrifying.
I’m not saying that has happened to you but if he’s willing to go this far then I’d be extremely cautious.
Take his phone and take pics of the album and the pics in it. Or record yourself unlocking and scrolling to the pictures.
You need to involve your family if you think you have supportive parents and adults.
It’s going to be embarrassing, shameful, traumatic and frustrating. He will deny. He will say he’s taking pics of outfits to send to his date, he will say he was offered money to do this and regrets it, he will say his friend is in love with you etc.
He will say anything but the truth that he’s a creep with porn rotted brain that is fantasizing about his sister and acting on it too - a predator.
darksidezephyr writes:
There is some really good advice here, the only thing I have to add to avoid being intoxicated around your brother is a reminder that: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You being drunk or high is not the reason this happened.
It is his creepy behaviour at fault. HE made that choice and violated your personal boundaries. It is a form of se%ual assault. Putting his hands on your body without consent is not okay.
There is a type of a porn that is about people touching sleeping members inappropriately so perhaps he got the idea from that. Either way, doesn't matter, it's gross. AND IT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT OKAY! Also, your clothes are also not the reason for his behaviour.
He might try to say that. So if you confront him, be prepared for him to gaslight you and lie and blame you for his actions. He might even try to convince you that you wanted it and that you were drunk so you don't remember coming unto him.
Please remember in those times you are not to blame, not for your clothes, not for your substance consumption, not at all. HE IS. I've been in this position with friends, not family, so if you need to talk or advice I can do my best to help. I am so sorry you are going through this.
flipitoff writes:
If he has an iPhone, you can make a video of his screen on his phone. You could then send it to yourself and then delete the video once you email it to yourself( he’s probably less likely to pay attention to his sent email bonus points if you’re savy enough to delete it from his email and it goes to his trash and delete that one too).
It would take less than 10 minutes to do. I’m not sure about other smart phones, though. If it’s an iPhone, use the drop down menu from the top right corner. There should be a square button with a circle in it.
Press that and it will record whatever is on the screen. Side note: if he hasnt added this feature you would have to go into his settings. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t require a passcode or facial recognition to unlock it.
The video would be stored as the most recent photo. From there just send it to yourself and remember to delete the video afterwards. I’m sure most if not all smart phones have this feature.
You can check out YouTube tutorials on how to do this for his specific phone model. What I’ve written might sound like it would be complicated to execute but I promise if you watch a tutorial, it will be quick and easy. Hope that this helps. Good luck to you.
emotrashrbh writes:
Oh my god. I am so sorry this is happening, please keep us updated. Make sure that you keep yourself safe no matter what, I’m hoping so hard that your parents take your side on this but the internet has caused me to lose faith in a lot of these situations.
Get proof, send it to yourself, back it up and make sure if you show your parents it isn’t a copy that they can destroy without you having a backup. If you need an internet big sister to talk to I’m here!
mode writes:
You need to tell your parents. Immediately. If you don't, there's a chance this could end up being much worse, either for you, or some other woman.
If you have fears they won't believe you, ask to go on your brother's phone again and get proof to show them. This is serious, you could end up hurt if you stay silent.
And now, OP's major update:
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and logical advice. My brother went out and stayed out last night, which isn’t unusual. I haven’t slept, I’m trying to somewhat organize my thoughts and emotions and what to do next.
Ive been thinking of ways to gain access to his phone for a few minutes when I absolutely know he won’t catch me. He plays music on his phone when he showers & his video games are too unpredictable in length for me to try that again.
I think my only option is to try and get it while he sleeps, but just the thought makes me sick with anxiety. I don’t really know how deep he sleeps, where he keeps his phone at night, when he actually falls asleep, etc.
I’d also have to open his door which I’m scared would be loud and give me away. I’ll have to plan the steps id go through with his phone once I have it, so I don’t freak out and fumble again.
I don’t think I can tell my parents or anyone in my life or go to the cops until I have some actual proof. It’s all becoming a blur even to me now. I considered trying to just push the memory down but I don’t think I can pretend to forget forever.
I’m distraught even thinking about having to tell my family about this at all. I still don’t know what I’m going to do.
All I wanted to do last night was drink away my pain and numb all the crazy emotions, so thank you to everyone in the comments who convinced me to keep myself safe and stay sober.
I have received lots of caring good advice and thoughtful messages through this post which is more than I could have asked for. If you don’t believe it I understand, trust me I don’t want to believe it either.