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Woman with food allergies locks MIL out during Thanksgiving, 'I don't feel comfortable.' AITA?

Woman with food allergies locks MIL out during Thanksgiving, 'I don't feel comfortable.' AITA?

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"AITA for locking the kitchen and not allowing my MIL in during thanksgiving?"

I (30f) am married to "Dean" (31m). I have multiple intolerances and allergies varying from significant stomach ache to ER trip with epipen not helping. Some of them include red meat, offal, fish, seafood, mushrooms and bell peppers. The list is significantly bigger but these are my major ones.

My in laws are aware of my allergies and whenever I would come and visit I would make sure to bring my own food. This year it was my time to make Thanksgiving dinner which I was quite happy about as I could make sure I could eat the food too and make sure there was nothing to trigger any of the reactions.

My MIL "Ella" has arrived early with a bag of groceries trying to help, but Dean has noticed that there's some red meat, seafood, some sauces with fish and mushrooms in the bag, so he drove back and refunded pretty much everything she to my reactions.

Ella was very confused at why as she believed washing the surfaces is enough to get rid of the allergen. She and my father in law were also expected to stay with us for a few days after.

Due to all of this I had no choice but to lock the kitchen from them and only unlock it when it was me or Dean cooking. I have told Ella if she wants different food she is free to go out and eat, but I don't feel comfortable with her being in my kitchen and cooking there due to how she treats my allergies.

Ella and my father in law left last Wednesday and since then me and Dean (but mainly me) have been getting messages and calls from his entire family calling me a controlling ahole for not allowing a grown up woman to cook food for herself and "controlling her eating."

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MikeTalonNYC said:

NTA. The allergies were well known, and you brought your own food to their house because of the very fact that cross-contamination could occur even if they prepared different food for you. At the very LEAST, MIL should have asked if she could bring ingredients, at which point Dean would have told her why that would not work.

Nope, she brought stuff knowing you were allergic to it. If she really hated your food, she could bring her own dish just like you do when you visit them. So they are definitely TA for just completely ignoring all the facts and trying to do what they wanted in spite of them.

You are NTA since MIL has already exhibited that she will try to do what she wants in your kitchen. We're not talking about being annoying, it *could literally kill you* - and possibly weeks or even months after she left!

Your only choice (aside from hurling her out of your home) was to keep her out of the food prep area. I, for one, applaud that you let her stay to keep the peace in the family and only locked her out of the kitchen itself.

boredathome1962 said:

NTA. She thinks allergies = fussy...You're not controlling her eating, she's risking your bloody life. Because she doesn't believe you really have them, you're picky, fussy, childish. So her bringing forbidden foods will "show your husband that he doesn't need to enable your childish behavior, it's all in your head..."

She is dangerous OP, she will slip some seafood into your cocoa (or something) I know this because as soon as she gets caught she leaps to the DARVO. It's your fault, she's the victim, look how cruel you are...She could have killed you. Make sure everyone knows that, and have hubby search her bags if she is allowed back. (Hubby is being great so far by the way) Keep safe OP, and keep the kitchen door MIL free.

VariousTry4624 said:

NTA. Food allergens are a serious health threat. Your IL's refusal to take yours seriously is beyond unacceptable. I would ban them from your house in the future if continue to try subvert your dietary heath practices.

miriandrae said:

NTA - Put those family members on mute and don’t allow your in-laws to stay again. They don’t respect your allergies that are life threatening and won’t. Your husband should be blasting them back about how his mother was trying to kill you or make you end up in the hospital on Thanksgiving because it could literally be framed that way. She has been informed multiple times about the severity of your allergies. This is literally protecting your health and safety.

YogiZogi said:

NTA. I live in a household with food allergies. It took half a decade to convince some family members that it was “real” and another half decade for them to adjust kitchen etiquette for needed safety. Your MIL is currently dangerous.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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