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Woman forbids daughter from having friends over because she's 'introverted.'

Woman forbids daughter from having friends over because she's 'introverted.'


Since the dawn of humanity, introverts have always been at odds with extroverts—the love of staying inside and keeping to yourself vs. meeting new people and chatting all night. There is no correct answer, but it's important to remember everyone has different preferences.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one introverted woman has to deal with her very extroverted daughter.

She write:

My husband and I have two daughters, 17 and 14. My husband and I were always very introverted, we met at work, and I still don't know how we ended up dating, but I'm lucky we did. We had a handful of friends, but we drifted from everyone after we married, especially after the girls were born.

Our oldest is the same way; she has no friends, which she's glad about. She doesn't find socializing very fulfilling and prefers to keep to herself. We even hooked her up with a therapist a few years ago to ensure she was alright, and she is just introverted. Our youngest, on the other hand, is a social butterfly.

She has eight 'best friends,' and she seems to know her entire class. Since she got her first phone this year, she's constantly chatting and texting with people. The rest of us vanish into our rooms after school/work; she'll spend all day making small talk.

We're supportive that she has different needs from the rest of us, and we need to meet them. The issue is we prefer a quiet house, the toddler stage was unbearable, and even our oldest likes the quiet.

We want our home to be a calm, relaxed place. That tends to clash with a bunch of teens running around. So we allow her to hang out/sleepover at her friend's houses, but we don't allow them to meet here. We've explained that it would be too disruptive to the rest of us, and we want peace of mind in our home.

She called us selfish and even called us a bunch of shut-ins. Now she's barely talking to us and even stopped speaking to her sister, who she's very close with. I'm wondering if maybe we aren't supporting her needs well enough and perhaps we are being selfish.

The internet is full of introverts.

GreekAmericanDom says:

YTA (You're the A**hole). Introversion does not mean that one can't have social skills. I am sick and tired of other introverts using their introversion as an excuse.

You are actively failing your daughter as parents. Does she need to have friends over every day? No. But never? Come on! You are being selfish, and you are not supporting her needs.

walnutwithteeth says:

Fellow introvert and shut in here. A crowd of loud teenage girls is my idea of hell. It was hell in school, and it's hell 20 years later. I understand where you are coming from. But YTA.

You are neglecting her needs, and this could end up with her being shunned by her other friends as she's not able to reciprocate their invitations. It doesn't have to be every weekend.

It can have specified start and finish times. There can be ground rules about noise and acceptable behaviours. But you need to extend your home to her friends on occasion. Both of your kids need the freedom to express who they are in their own home, not just the one who takes after you.

honeyghouls says:

YTA. Have you and your husband tried therapy? There‘s introverted and needing quiet, but to need quiet 24/7 and never allowing your other daughter to have friends over is not normal or healthy.

OP, you can't force your child to live the life that you enjoy.

Sources: Reddit
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