Woman forbids 'passive aggressive' SIL from house, 'people need to hear the truth sometimes.' AITA?

"AITA for refusing to let my sister-in-law stay at my house after she made rude comments about my home?"

So, I (30F) live in a small, cozy house that I’ve worked hard to furnish and decorate over the years. My husband, “Tom” (32M), and I don’t have kids yet, but we’ve always made our space work for the two of us.

A few weeks ago, my sister-in-law “Jenna” (28F) visited from out of town, and she asked if she could stay with us for a few days. Now, I’ve never really been close with Jenna, but she’s family, so I agreed.

When she arrived, she immediately started making passive-aggressive comments about our house. “Oh, it’s so…small. I wasn’t expecting this,” and “Is that the best furniture you could find? It looks kind of…cheap.”

At first, I brushed it off because I didn’t want to start a confrontation. But then it kept going. She made fun of the paint colors I chose, called our kitchen “dated,” and even asked if I had considered upgrading to a “better neighborhood” when I mentioned the area we live in. I was getting frustrated, but I didn’t say anything right away because I didn’t want to make it awkward.

The breaking point came when she commented on our bathroom, saying, “I mean, how do you even live like this? No wonder you guys don’t entertain guests.” At that point, I told her that she was being disrespectful and that if she didn’t have anything nice to say, she could leave.

She got really upset and said I was being dramatic, that she was just “telling the truth” and that “people need to hear the truth sometimes.” Tom and I had a huge argument that night because he thinks I overreacted, and I should have just let her be. He says it’s “family” and that I should’ve tolerated it to keep the peace.

But I feel like it’s not okay for her to come into my home and make me feel bad about the choices I’ve made. I don’t think I should’ve had to tolerate her behavior just because she’s family. Now I’m questioning if I was the ahole. AITA for asking her to leave after all the comments?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

Cta2rlm said:

NTA. Your husband and his sister are. If there is a next time and she starts this, ask, "Were you not taught, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all?" As for your husband, I would let him know she was also taking these digs at him, not just you because you both chose your home. "Family" doesn't mean being a doormat.

FitzDesign said:

Being family doesn’t give you the right to be an AH which she was clearly being. What’s worse though is that your husband is allowing this and by trying to get you to leave it be is condoning this kind of behavior.

Not only do you have an SIL problem but you have a husband problem. You need to sit down and have a real discussion with him about his lack of support. Set some boundaries and if he isn’t willing to support you then you have some thinking to do. NTA.

laurame1 said:

Absolutely NTA. That's just downright rude and snobbish. If she doesn't like it, she needs to go and stay in a hotel.

VeggiesForLyfe said:

NTA. If she hates your house so much, surely she'd be more comfortable never setting foot in it again. Your husband sucks. Until the day I die, I will never understand why the polite, kind people are forced to "keep the peace" and that same onus is never put upon the aholes.

thatcrochetaddict said:

NTA. If she hates the house so much, then why would she want to stay?

PA_Archer said:

“You’re just telling the truth? Here’s some truth. You’re rude. I don’t value your opinion, and you’re no longer welcome. How’s that for some truth?”

Blacktxz said:

NTA. Tell her her truths to her face too. These type of people preach about telling the truth but once they get faced with the same treatment they start crying. Bunch of hypocrites.

Strange-Initiative15 said:

NTA. She could have just turned around, exited your house and stayed at a hotel. People don’t get to use your place free of charge and then dump on it.