Woman forgets to deposit 'very generous' Christmas check from parents. 'This is total disrespect.' AITA?
"AITA for not depositing my Christmas check?"
For Christmas I (29F) received a very generous check from my parents. I wasn't expecting it and they never spend this much on gifts so it took me by surprise. Not to give exact numbers but it was four digits. I was very grateful and thanked them for there generous gift.
Everything was great...until the day after Christmas. My dad would come up to me multiple times and asked if I deposited the check. I told him that I would and that I could deposit it through by banking app. Well the day goes on and I forget to deposit the check.
The 27th comes along and I get home from work and my dad gets on me again and asks if I deposited the check. I told him no and he seemed annoyed and again told me to deposit the check. Well as you can probably guess the day ends with me again forgetting to deposit the check.
Now it's today (the 28th) and my mom texts me while I'm at work asking if I deposited the check. I told her no and she must have told dad because he started angrily texting me.
"I asked you to do something and you didn't do it. I'm so upset with you OP it's not even funny. This is a total disrespect of me and your mom. I asked you to deposit the that check and you didn't. You know we did this because we love you and you turn around and not deposit the check like I asked. I'm so upset. Just give me the check and I'll deposit it in your account if you're that lazy. Ungrateful."
I was shocked when I read that while at work. And I'm not going to lie, it hurt a lot. I spent most of my lunch break in tears trying to think of a response. I love my dad a lot but I felt like his anger was out of line and needlessly malicious.
Unfortunately, while my dad is loving most of the time he does have bouts of anger like this (like once a year not often at all). He never gets physical or anything but is very loud.
Eventually I texted him back saying: "Hi dad, I'm sorry that this has made you upset. It's not that I'm ungrateful. I guess I just don't understand why this needs to be deposited right away. Especially since it hasn't even been a week since I received your very generous gift.
I love you very much and I don't want this to damage our relationship. So I think it's no longer appropriate for me to accept this check. I'll give you the check back when I get home."
I thought that was the best and most mature way to reply. Maybe he'll calm down?...No. He replied back with this: "OP when I tell you to do something I want it done. When your mom asks you to do something you do it.
Now I want you to deposit that check today or I will disconnect your internet (we live in the same house). I ask for the simplest thing and you cant give that to me. I have my reasons for wanting the check cashed. You should honor my wish. As far as I'm concerned, this has damaged our relationship."
I've since deposited the check like he asked, but I'm really confused am I really in the wrong here or is he blowing this out of proportion?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Y2Flax said:
Bro. Cash the freaking check. They keep you reminding you, you keep forgetting. Cash. The. Check!
Early-Tale-2578 said:
Someone gives me a check in the 4 digits I’m not gonna forget about it for 3 days I cash it immediately. Tbh you sound lazy it’s not that hard to go on your bank app and deposit the money YTA.
Ladyughsalot1 said:
YTA. While their financial management isn’t your business (so I have no issue with his “I have my reasons” line), you should understand that this large amount of money has to be accounted for by them until you take responsibility for it.
So if they are moving money around, as so many do at the end of the year, they now have to manage this gift for you until you finally take ownership of it. It’s annoying. It appears ungrateful. Just apologize. “I should have recognized how important this was."
thrilling_me_softly said:
The year is ending and more than likely they needed it cashed before year end. You are 29 not 17 and it took you longer to write this post up than it does to cash a check. YTA. Grow up.
Accomplished_Cup900 said:
I’m gonna say NTA. For everyone saying that they hate writing a check because they want the money to come out soon after writing it, there are so many ways to pay people. If it’s not absolutely necessary to pay them cash, pay them via a different payment method.
They could’ve did a bank transfer, Venmo, cashapp, PayPal, cash, visa gift cards, and even Zelle. I work retail. I’m not thinking about deposing a damn check on the few days I have off after Christmas. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself to go back to work.
DietPsychological453 said:
YTA! Considering the time it takes for checks to clear & funds to be removed from their account and the banking holidays, it literally takes minutes to do mobile banking!! You typed a short story but did not deposit the check? I'd canceled it if it was me.