Woman gets petty revenge on brother by skipping his wedding, 'I BEGGED him.' AITA?

"WIBTA for skipping my brother's wedding after he skipped mine?"

I (27f) got married to my husband (28m) last April. We sent our wedding invites out a full year before our wedding and sent reminders 6 months before. My l my brother Jacob (22m) is the youngest of 4 kids (3 girls and one boy), and my parents have always treated him like their precious gold child who can do no wrong.

As adults this has caused a lot of tension between us. He acts like a raging hormonal 16 year old boy. It’s definitely gotten worse with his fiancé Kelly (21f) enabling his bad behavior.

Kelly is constantly telling him we don’t appreciate him and we should be grateful to have him as a sibling. My parents think me and my sisters don’t “understand” him and we don’t give him enough “grace."

Jacob told me a week before my wedding he wasn’t coming because he was going to be busy with Kelly and they were going on vacation. I begged him to come and emphasized how important it was to me he came to my wedding. My mom got involved at this point and assured me he would be there and not to worry.

I didn’t find out until an hour before I walked down the aisle he wasn’t there and didn’t intend to be. I was devastated. My sisters and husband had to calm me down. I had my heart set on my entire family coming and he was our ring bearer.

When Jacob told our family him and Kelly were engaged I was happy for him. He announced his wedding date was May 30th of this year. He emphasized we all HAVE to be there. His fiancé sent a text saying that our attendance was MANDATORY.

I’ve been debating skipping his wedding. I don’t get along well with Kelly and my brother skipped my wedding. I mentioned possibly not going to my mom and she was pissed and told everyone.

Now my brother, Kelly, and my parents are calling me an ahole, brat, and petty for maybe skipping his wedding. My sisters and husband agree with me I don’t have to go since they didn’t go to mine. But idk would I be the ahole for skipping my brothers wedding?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

saedgin said:

NTA. Sounds like your parents enable his behavior. Mom said he would be at your wedding and I bet she didn’t get mad at him when he didn’t show.

Leviosapatronis said:

NTA. They're 22 and 21. I would be honest and tell him you'll catch his next one. Why should YOU have to be the bigger person, or keep the peace? That's ridiculous!

Wild_Ticket1413 said:

NTA. It's an invitation. You're free to decline for any reason. His fiancé is out of line to demand the family attend. Your brother didn't attend your wedding, he shouldn't be upset if you don't go to his. His behavior is incredibly hypocritical. Tell them all to go pound sand.

tcherian211 said:

NTA...but also why was he supposes to be the ring bearer at your wedding, isn't that usually something done by a child?

D2theMcV said:

NTA. And I hope, given the update, the new info will help you get over your qualms about not going. You didn’t mention what the other sister’s thoughts are, but if all three of you skipped it, it would send a message not just to your brother, but also your parents.

Maybe that would be the catalyst for some or all of them to seriously reevaluate their choices. Or maybe it would free you and your sisters from their nonsense.

rosegoldblonde said:

NTA. He skipped your wedding, I wouldn’t have any desire to go to his. I’d say “sorry I’ll be on vacation," same as he did to you. Is it petty? Maybe but I think it’s warranted IMO.

Later, OP provided a mini update:

Turns out, my husband isn’t invited and my oldest sisters wife isn’t invited either. Kelly doesn’t want any spouses there since those are in her words “temporary” and she doesn’t want them in any pictures. My oldest sister has decided not to attend because of that reason. (I found this out 5ish minutes after I posted).