AITA for getting my aunt and uncle kicked out of their house for not letting my husband and I sleep together?
I (M27) am married to a man (M28). He is the love of my life. I had only ever dated women before him, but when I met him, I realized I was bi, and we fell in love. We married in the fall of 2018, so it’s been almost four years. We now live in Vermont.
My whole family is from a small town in Texas, a super conservative Catholic area. I was raised there, but dad got a job in NYC when I was 15. We went from living in rural Texas to living in an apartment in Manhattan. The culture shock was brutal.
My parents didn’t sell our house in TX; they allowed our aunt & uncle, who just had their third child, to move in while charging them a small rent. When I came out as bi, my brother and dad were very supportive in college. My mom needed some time to accept. The rest of my family reacted poorly at first but came around.
During visits, we stayed with my aunt and uncle at my old house, but we weren’t allowed to share a bed because we weren't married. We didn’t argue; we both would instead make peace. When visiting, instead of staying with my aunt & uncle, we would rent a motel room.
During Covid, we did not visit them. But this summer, my parents and brother decided to visit my hometown again for two weeks and invited my husband and me. I wanted a motel again, but my aunt & uncle insisted my brother, husband, and I stay with them.
The first night's sleeping situation was discussed after my cousins went to bed. My aunt and uncle wanted me and my brother to take the spare bedroom with my husband on the couch. All three of us took issue with that.
They snapped that we were not really married because we were gay, and that they had children in the house. They said that it would be a bad influence on their kids. This hurt my husband’s feelings and he started crying and ran out of the room. When my husband ran out, my uncle had the audacity to start laughing. That’s when I saw red.
I started cussing them out so loudly that my young cousins came to investigate. I told them that if they didn’t go apologize to my husband immediately then I was going to tell my dad what just happened, and I was going to make sure to have them kicked out of the house — that was still in my parents’ name.
My brother seconded everything that I was saying. They started backtracking and saying that we were still welcome in “their” house but that we had to follow their rules, I responded that it wasn’t really THEIR house. I told them they were going to be homeless if I had my way.
The kids started crying cause they heard me say they were all going to be homeless, so we left. My husband was on the porch crying, I promised him that I would never subject him to that again.
I told dad what happened. To say that my dad was angry would be an understatement. He served them notice of eviction for 60 days. I have been getting calls and texts and Facebook messages from my family calling me AH.
I want to know AITA for allowing my young cousins to end up homeless. Is it fair that they have to pay for what my aunt and uncle said to me and my husband?
NTA (Not the A**hole). I love your Dad.
They insisted a hotel was not needed and then decided to disregard your marriage. The whole 'not married so separate rooms' thing was clearly an excuse before as well.
It's entirely your father's decision who to let the house too, and you're within your rights to tell him what happened. Just because he reacted as you expected him to doesn't make you an AH.
NTA. They played a cruel and stupid game and won a silly prize. They insisted you and hubby stay exactly so they could do this, you told your father, and he acted as he wanted. Any family that doesn’t want them homeless can take them in.
I mean, they have been benefiting from cheap rent for wh years. They should have taken that time to save for a house or something. Maybe your dad used this as an excuse to kick out a freeloading sibling and their family. And if their financial situation is such that this will genuinely leave them homeless, then they should be smart enough not to be cruel to you.