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'My sister brought home my old college BF then got mad because he's obsessed with me.'

'My sister brought home my old college BF then got mad because he's obsessed with me.'


I broke up with my ex for planning to cheat on me, and then years later, my sister brought him home as her boyfriend.

Lux_Tenebr1s writes:

If you had told me years ago that I would be in this situation, I would have laughed, but here we go. My boyfriend suggested that I get an outside perspective here.

I (26F) was dating 'James' (M26) for most of college, and we had plans to get engaged after graduation. Two months before graduation, I caught him planning to cheat. Nothing physical seemed to have happened yet, but he and another girl were planning a weekend when he told me he was going home for a quick visit.

Cheating is an instant deal breaker to me, so it was over. Instead of fighting, I didn’t say anything, just waited til after he left for 'home,' texted him proof that I had caught him and said, 'Good thing you’re single now, have fun,' then blocked him on everything and went for a girls weekend with friends. James lost his sh%t and spent a month trying to get in contact with me or guilt friends into helping him.

The few messages that got through I trashed without even reading them. After a while, I thought he had finally given up. About a year later, my sister (24F) announced she wanted to bring her boyfriend home to meet the family. We didn’t realize she had a boyfriend, but my parents had a BBQ and told her to bring him. It was James.

My parents were stunned but tried to pull it together. I just left. My sister called and tried to explain later that they had met at a party on campus, and it was no big deal since I broke up with him. I told her I thought she could do better, but she could make her own mistakes. I just wouldn’t be spending time around them.

She got mad about it because our parents 'took my side.' I don’t get along with my sister at the best of times, so avoiding them wasn’t hard except on holidays. Since they seemed serious, my parents caved and let him come to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

James seemed way too invested in getting back on my good side when he was around, and it apparently made my sister jealous because she started acting bratty. This last weekend was a milestone birthday for my mom, and I thought it would be an excellent chance to introduce them to my boyfriend Todd (29M).

Mom gave it the okay, and Todd made a great impression on the family. James was there with my sister, and he was pissed and left early. My sister called me later and yelled at me for upsetting James and trying to make him jealous to get his attention.

I told her she knew she was getting a cheat when she decided to date my sloppy seconds, and he was no longer my problem. Since then, she’s blown up social media venting about it and is refusing to see my parents for the holidays if Todd and I are there. My parents think she’s over the top and acting out, but she’s on their case so much they want me to try and smooth it over and apologize for calling him sloppy seconds. I think it was an apt description.

Here are some of the top comments from the post.

Ok_Kangaroo_1873 says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole). You can choose your friends and your boyfriend, but you can’t choose your family. Your sister and James are a perfect match for each other.

Comfortable-Focus123 says:

NTA - It almost appears that James is dating your sister to get back at you, and she is blissfully ignorant of that fact.

fancythat012 says:

NTA. Your sister refuses to accept that not only did she get your cast-off, he's also not worth the drama and issues this has brought in the family. If she's angry at you instead of with him because he got jealous then she's being ridiculous, and apologizing for it isn't gonna make her see sense.

What do you think? Is James using OP's sister to get close to her, or is OP reading too deep into the situation?

Sources: Reddit
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