Woman goes back on her word to help support ex-husband's affair baby, 'she fooled me.' AITA?
"AITA for going back on my word to help support my husband’s affair baby?"
I found out (f42) that my husband (m44)was cheating on me with a girl (f25) he found on tinder. He made himself out to be a rich guy but actually he works for my father. When I found out, I asked for divorce.
I found out that the girl was pregnant. She told me that she didn’t know he was married bla bla. I believed her and I felt sorry for her because she doesn’t have any money. I have two children so I thought, her baby was my children’s sibling. I said that I would take care of them.
Then I stumbled across all the texts between them and actually she knew very early on that he was married and she even stalked me on social media. He told her from the start that he was married and only wanted fun.
She wanted more and that’s how I found out. Now I feel immense hatred and resentment towards her and her baby and I don’t want to help her anymore. I liked her and she fooled me. But she only used me. I told her that I wasn’t going to be helping her and wished her good luck.
My husband will still have ok salary at his new work and from what I understood he is planning to have custody, or at least shared custody, of his child so the baby will not be suffering but just not rich. I asked her to not contact me again.
She is raging about me taking back my promise and gathering lots of sympathy and I don’t know. I know the baby is innocent in this, but I feel resentful and bitter like I have been used twice. I am very sorry but no...
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ScarletDarkstar said:
NTA She cheated with your husband, caused your divorce ( in part) and then lied manipulated you for money. Pretty rich that she now wants you to keep your word which was given under false pretenses.
She and her baby are not your responsibility, and you shouldn't support them because she tricked you into giving her the benefit of the doubt. Your husband probably coached her in order to maintain access to your money.
Extra-Direction7227 said:
A homewrecker doesn't deserve help. NTA.
FinanSpectre said:
NTA. Your husband violated your trust, and this other woman was apparently a willing participant. 25 isn't a babe in the woods, she's old enough to know the pain it would cause you. The child is their responsibility. If they can't provide, that's very sad for the child, but also not your fault.
I'd suggest bringing this up with your divorce lawyer, especially if this promise was put in writing. Make sure they can't come back and try to bite you with it, as unfair as it would be. Seems unlikely, but you don't want to leave it unaddressed.
shammy_dammy said:
NTA. Not your baby, not your problem.
IllustratorSlow1614 said:
NTA. She got a promise out of you on a false basis. That nullified your agreement. It’s not outrageous that you would have hate and resentment for the woman who totally played you and your ex-husband and brought a child into the world to scam you both.
BigGingerYeti said:
NTA not even in the slightest. They both lied, she tried to scam you basically. And sure the baby is innocent but every baby is, you can't take care of all of them.
Away-Understanding34 said:
NTA at all. You have no obligation to her or the baby. You were only offering help because she led you to believe she was lied to. However, since she was the one lying and you found out, good for you for walking away from that situation.
I am petty so I would call her out for being a liar and if you have pics of the messages, post them. She's a real piece of work and I am sure your soon to be ex will regret ever getting involved with her.