Woman GRABS newborn baby from sister-in-law, 'I'm NOT comfortable being around her.' AITA?

"AITA FOR GRABBING MY NEWBORN BABY FROM MY SIL?"

I (28F) had my son Kyson 4 months ago. At 22 weeks I was diagnosed with partial placenta previa and we were hoping and praying it would resolve, but at 28weeks I was told I have complete placenta previa.

This news hurt because I had a birth plan but my doctor still closely monitored it even though he made it clear that there might be less chance of resolving it and might have a C-section. At 35 weeks I had heavy bleeding so I delivered my beautiful baby boy through an emergency C-section. My son was in the NICU for 2 weeks before we got to go home.

2 weeks ago there was a family party at my MIL's house, I was sitting in the ladies when Ky started crying. So I breastfed him while chatting nobody had a problem with that them after that I handed him to my SIL since she wanted to play with him. While he was holding him she said something.

So they started talking about my SIL's labor and she said it was a breeze. Then I said "aww that's nice, I hope to have a natural with my second some day." Then she said "a natural birth needs preparation during the whole pregnancy." Then she went on to say "you never worked out or got active much."

So I told her it was because of the placenta previa situation. This woman literally said "that's not an excuse tho, I had Roud Ligament Pain and I still managed to keep active." I told her I was kept on bed rest half my pregnancy and had too many hospital visits so I didn't wanna do anything to risk putting myself in danger.

Then she said "your body can feels the nerves and it reads accordingly, you should've relaxed and let nature take it's course. That's how natural births work, the C-section was avoidable." I told her to f herself and took my baby out her arms and went to my hubby.

We left after. Apparently she told anyone who asked where I am got sensitive and left the party. After a few days she asked to see Kyson and I said I'm not comfortable being around her at the moment. She accused me of weaponizing my son and using him to hurt her.

NOTE: Whole pregnancy she kept on giving unsolicited advice on how to "fix" the placenta previa and I feel like she thinks if I had listened to her I would have had Kyson naturally.

I felt sad for a few weeks after birth cause my birth plan didn't go how I wanted it to, these feelings just feel like they resurfaced tbh. I thought I was ok. AITA for grabbing him and not agreeing to visit her?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

theworldisonfire8377 said:

NTA, she sounds like an idiot. What part of bedrest did she not understand? I went through a placenta abruption, almost died and almost lost my baby. The first thing my doctor said to me once I was coherent enough to hear it was "you did nothing wrong."

If someone said to me what she said to you after what I went through (and in the same token, what you went through), I don't know if I could ever speak to them again. What she said was cruel, vile, and more importantly, completely false.

PersonalityWinter442 said:

NTA. SIL can stay in her judgmental bubble by herself. I would’ve humiliated her at the party by asking why she thought she knew more than the doctors who gave you the advice. And ask her where she got her medical degree from, because you’d like to tell people to not attend that university since clearly their candidates are both ignorant and downright stupid with a capital S. Sancti-mommies are the worst.

ChipmunkWonderful642 said

NTA. Your SIL is an absolute melon with the intelligence of a fruit fly. Ask her where her medical degree is that proves she knows more than your doctors and midwives did, and tell her she can take her pretentious, vile and ill informed opinion and shove it very firmly up her probably bleached a.

Caesareans are not the easy way out, they have to cut through and stitch back so many layers, move your literal organs out of the way, and grab a slimy little baby out of your guts. The recovery is brutal and hard, and for most women a natural recovery is a million times easier (I’m not included in those women, but the caesarean was still very far from a breeze).

Odd-Boysenberry-9454 said:

NTA. Maybe have your husband talk to her about boundaries and empathy. I’m a strong believer of having the spouse whose family it is speak up. If she drops her inappropriate behavior for good would you consider letting her around again?

IndividualGrocery984 said:

NTA. She sounds dumb. Start gaslighting her about round ligament pain. Tell her it’s not real. Tell her you heard it’s a result of misaligned chakras or a bad energy field. Tell her round ligament pain isn’t a real medical issue.

Scientist-Pirate said:

It’s a good thing I’m not a postpartum woman because I (65M) would have punched her, gotten arrested, been confined to house arrest, had a record and had zero regrets. You are NTA.

Squaaaaaasha said:

NTA. "You're weaponizing your son!" Ma'am, she is quite literally entitled to keep her baby from you, you unscientific weirdo.

MLOB82 said:

NTA. Nobody’s giving out medals for having natural births and people need to stop looking down on c-section births like it’s a failing of some kind. You did what was advised based on professional opinion for the health and safety of you and your child.

You are not weaponizing anything, she is just playing victim and you don’t need to be around this toxic attitude. If she doesn’t apologize or you can’t come to a point where you are comfortable to be around her, just keep enjoying your baby and motherhood without this negative energy!