Woman hits a breaking point with fiancé's bully teen sister, 'I heard her crying.' AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for defending myself from my boyfriend's little sister?"
It was the day after my bf (24M) proposed to me, I (22F) had my bf meet my parents already, so we both planned to meet his family the next day after the proposal. At about 6PM we went to his family's house, it was a big deal for me to give a good impression so i wanted to impress them and be positive.
His parents were great and his relatives were really funny. We had dinner and his dad and mom were very chatty, and I'm not really a talkative person so it made things a lot easier.
I knew he had a little sister so I unfortunately, asked to see her since she wasn't at the table. My bf's mom quickly escorted her out of her room as she was busy talking with her friends otp.
I then said hi to her and asked her name, she looked at me weirdly but I tried to ignore it, but then she told me "your hair looks like a bird's nest" in front of the family. For context, I have curly-wavy hair that gets dry and frizzy fast, it made her dad laugh so I got a bit uncomfortable but I laughed it off.
She told me that my boyfriend's ex girlfriend was better looking and said she doesn't want me here, by the way, she's about 15 years old and it quite hurt my feelings, but still I kept a smile and asked her if she ate dinner yet.
Of course, she told me "Yeah, have you? Because I can tell with your fat butt" at that point it was my breaking point, because basically his relatives were chuckling and he wasn't doing anything or saying anything...
I told her that she was a "disrespectful ahole who had no shame" and stormed out of the house out of anger. I immediately regretted it after when I heard shouting in the house and I heard her screaming and possibly crying.
I then see my boyfriend walking towards me and then screaming about why I said that to his little sister. I yelled back and said his little sister is an insecure little b and left and called a cab.
I'm staying at a hotel right now and I've gotten plenty of missed calls from him, some of his friends, and my own friends. Honestly I'm still pissed at him but I do feel bad for acting immature especially since his little sister is only 15 and I'm 22. Should I have handled the situation better?
Here's what people had to say about this one:
Infamous_Wedding2060 said:
You may have gone off, but you were provoked hard. The real question is whether this man is ready to be a husband if he can’t even stand up for his fiancée when she’s being humiliated.
Kampungmonyet said:
NTA. Any family that lets someone behave like this is not worth marrying into. Your life would be miserable.
Crazy4Swayze420 said:
Give him the ring back. He isn't ready to get married full stop. When someone shows you who they are believe him. You aren't his priority so don't make him yours. Yes what you did was immature but honestly she pushed you and you defended yourself since he wouldn't stand up for you. This isn't a red flag this is a big ole red banner. Good luck with whatever you do.
ForwardPlenty said:
NTA. Sounds like a lovely family. It is so funny to have a 15 year old call a 22 year old fat. So funny. The fact that your fiance defended her tells me all I need to know. I would be dumping him, and watching that family from my rear view mirror as I sped away.
NTA. She was abusive towards you and without provocation. What is worst is that her family did not nip her behavior in the bud, especially your so-called fiancé who should have stuck up for you immediately.
Their laughter enabled her to continue to insult and humiliate you, which shows they agree with her. It doesn't matter that she was 15, she is more than old enough to know better. It's probably the first time in the brat's life that someone has put her in her place.
Tremenda-Carucha said:
NTA...this sh$thead's sis needs her mouth washed out with soap for spewing such vile garbage. And why the hell didn't bf step up to defend his bride-to-be? Are we really raising a generation of entitled twits who think they can get away with bullying others and then act all high and mighty when called out on it?
Brief_Project2995 said:
NTA, return the ring and don't look back. Huge bullet dodged.
UPDATE:
Hi, I'm so sorry for the lack of information I gave in the following post! yes, me and my now ex didn't meet each other's families yet because we met and lived at the time in a different state then our families.
First, I wanted to say thank you all for the advice given and i've took those into account! last night I just decided to sleep it off and i'd figure out what to do in the morning, in the morning I read all of his chats they said "Apologize to her."
"She's only 15" and one that really stuck out to me. "I just proposed and you do this?" At that point, I wanted to reply and go all out, i decided to just make a paragraph and dump him.
Oh by the way, even his sister was in my message requests, her messages was full of swearing and stuff, and I initially thought to send it to her parents but reading your comments, and seeing them not control their child, I don't think they would care. Thank you guys, I'm currently trying to fly back home and i've also blocked him and his sister.