Woman is honest with sister: 'it's not my fault you became a mom instead of going to college.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister it’s not my fault she became a mom instead of going to college?"
My sister (28F) had a good thing going, after high she went to college for sale and finance to do real estate. She was 17 when she got into college because she graduated early. She got in the mix with her boyfriend, At that time her boyfriend was 36 and they met because he was at a college party and he got to her. no one could tell her anything about him.
It was crazy because she was deep in love with him, our parents did not approve of this relationship because they thought it would ruin her future. She ghosted everyone, no one knew that she dropped out until two weeks later.
She wasn’t leaving her boyfriend and no one could stop, she only dropped out because he wanted her to and I guess made her believe college wasn’t good enough. My sister is very gullible and believes anything if you sound sincere about it. She stopped calling everyone, if we would call them her phone would go right to voicemail.
Anyways she has 5 kids with her husband now, still going strong, recently had her baby on Mother’s Day. I barely talk to her, off and on. She used to be fun to be around but she finds fun in being with her kids and that’s good, she cooks all day, cleans, wash clothes, lost many friends.
Now that I’m in college I study finance as well, my sister didn’t know because she never cared to ask because she has her own family now. I was surprised to get a call from her, we ended up having a deep conversation. That’s why she finally asked what I was doing in college...
I told her I was doing finances for real estate and I guess something just clicked. She asked why was I copying her, it was so random for her to ask. I told her I wasn’t copying her, but she threw multiple questions at me, she then asked if I thought I was better than her because I’m taking her spot.
It was weird because she was going crazy, I was trying to calm down the situation, but she added it. She was projecting on me, saying that I’m never going to be in her spot. I told her it wasn’t my fault.
She became a mom and didn’t finish college, I made her cry. She called our mom, my mom told me what an a I was being and of course I second guessed myself so I might be wrong.
Here's what people had to say to OP about this one:
WhyDrinkKoolaid said:
Obviously NTA. You certainly don't have to stay and listen to that. Perhaps disengaging a bit earlier in the conversation.
Richie_Boomstick said:
A 28 year old woman with 5 kids says, “Why are you copying me?” That says it all for me. You are NTA.
Crafty_Special_7052 said:
NTA deep down she probably regrets dropping out of college and why she’s basically attacking you now knowing you are majoring in what she was supposed to. Btw is her husband the boyfriend she dropped out of school for?
late2reddit19 said:
NTA. Your sister sounds unhappy and regretful that she did not finish college. She has no right taking her poor life decisions out on you. Don't apologize because she's going to keep doing this.
If you graduate and get a good paying job, she’ll be jealous. She'll be livid if you manage to get married and have a family on top of having a great career. She'll accuse you of copying her for daring to get married and have children. Your sister needs therapy.
Mediocre_Cost_3459 said:
NTA obviously she resents not finishing school and want to take her anger out on you.
annjohnFlorida said:
NTA, she was picking a fight with you because she is jealous and is having regrets.
gruntbuggly said:
NTA. If I had to guess, I would say that even though your sister may be happily married with kids, she probably wonders what would have happened if she’d stayed on yer original path, and now that you are on that same path, she’s scared to see you be happy and fulfilled on that path. So, yeah, she’s projecting on you.
Next time just tell her you’re not taking her spot. You’re taking a spot that she abandoned and never filled an has no claim on. And that you have no intention of taking her spot by dropping out and becoming a young wife and mother.