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Woman horrified by BF's 'prank' proposal; gets public revenge at restaurant. AITA? UPDATED

Woman horrified by BF's 'prank' proposal; gets public revenge at restaurant. AITA? UPDATED


When this woman is furious with her boyfriend's prank proposal, she asks the internet:

"My boyfriend faked a proposal, so I got back at him. AITA?"

Me (24F) have been dating my boyfriend Andrew (26M) for 5 years now, we've had a healthy and stable relationship, up until today.

Andrew has always been a 'prankster' and make jokes with me all the time, and I do it to him too, but today he took it way too far.

In the morning he woke me up at 7am and told me to wake up because he wanted to take me to the spa, I was pretty surprised cause it wasn't a special day or anything, but I was all in for it.

At the spa he told me how he wanted to go to a fancy restaurant after we were done at the spa, and that he was paying. Of course I agreed as we hadn't been out together in a long time.

We then got to the restaurant, we had a beautiful and romantic dinner and just a nice time in general, we were talking about a house we were planning to move in to and chitchatted about other stuff too.

After around 40 minutes Andrew stood up and got on his knees and took out a box out of his pocket, my heart stopped beating, I hadn't even predicted this. We have never talked about proposal before but I also thought it was a great time now.

He did a speech about how I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how he wanted to live with me forever and ended with "will you marry me my princess?". Of course I said yes!

Seconds later all that exitment turned into horror, he opened the small box I expected he put the ring in and in it was a note saying "you've been pranked!!!" and Andrew started laughing hysterically at the restauraunt.

He continued with "baby this was just a prank! I'm not ready at all to marry you yet!". He was leaning in to hug me but in that moment I wanted revenge so badly so I gave him the biggest slap ever with tears streaming down my face. I just told him "we're over you fg scumbag". People were staring. It was horrifying.

I am now sitting in my bed crying and writing this and I don't know what to do. He's been texting and calling me but I haven't responded because I feel so sad, betrayed and mostly angry. I thought this was going to be one of the best days of my life. What should I do? AITA?

Before we give you OP's update, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

finagery writes:

NTA. So wrong. You deserve better than that. Frankly anyone does. He does not deserve you in anyway shape or form. I’m almost always for giving it a chance outside of cheating.

But here nope, as a man I find this incredibly childish and heartbreaking. Marriage is a sacred and special thing.

If he can’t understand how that would hurt you and how wrong it was then he surely won’t understand how to make educated decisions on other important choices together. Move on hun, cause life’s to short to waste on a man child like that.

feast5r writes:

NTA!!!! I would leave and never turn back. When i was 19 i dated a guy in the military who was getting deployed and asked me to marry him.

I said yes and then when he got back he pretended it never happened. Never wanted to talk about it. Eventually I wised up after two years at 21 and broke it off for good.

Anyone who would prank you or ask and then act like it was a joke / didn’t happen, should never be trusted. Especially if you’re someone who wants to get married some day. This is a red flag to me. Stay strong.

You deserve someone who will love you and marry you if that is what you want. Don’t waste your time on someone who would play with your emotions like this. Wishing you happiness and a fulfilling marriage and family in your future.

Edited to add: It is truly heartbreaking to think someone wants to marry you and then you find out it was a joke / they weren’t serious. Please don’t put yourself through this.

It really made me question my self worth and I rushed my relationship with my now ex husband cause i so desperately wanted to be loved and married. I would seek some kind of therapy and get a good support system. What he did is not cool and not a joke. You deserve better.

pompypie writes:

NTA. You did exactly the right thing. You dumped his selfish ass, you slapped him round the face, you humiliated him in the restaurant by him getting slapped in the face in front of everyone (good girl high five) and you walked away knowing you didn't deserve that sick treatment from someone whose meant to love you.

Jokes are meant to be funny. They're meant to be harmless and make the other person laugh too. Anything else is straight up bullying and cruel horrible behaviour for their own amusement, and / or to humiliate the other person.

His 'joke' wasn't funny, or clever. It's hurtful, cruel, spiteful, thoughtless, and downright disgusting behaviour from someone whose meant to care about you.

The fact he set up a whole special day made it even more believeable. Not like he just proposed in bed when you woke up (any joke proposal is wrong) but he went all out to make this a special day so it would be more believable.

I can only imagine your heartbreak and betrayal and anger and upset. I felt a portion of it on your behalf just reading this.

The fact you've also been together 5 freaking years makes it also more believeable, and are looking at getting a house together.

If you currently live together, tell him to get the fxxk out, go stay with family or friends now. You can pack up his stuff and get a friend to collect it or something so you don't have to see him.

Block him on all communication. You don't need to listen to his half arsed excuses because nothing can excuse his actions.

You deserve way better than him. Its good you saw his true colours before investing in a house together.

Lean on your family and friends for support, and if you find yourself feeling sad, focus on the anger. It helps ease the upset if you're angry. But some counselling may help you process these feelings of betrayal of trust and disrespect and hurt from someone you trusted the most.

Do not speak to him again. Kick him out of your life and never look back. You deserve way better.

Again, jokes are meant to be funny for both people. He meticulously planned how he could hurt you, upset you, embarrass you (not that you have anything to be embarrassed about, he's the one who would have been left embarrassed,)

but he planned to embarrass you, devastate you with such a huge and important thing, by setting the whole day as part of the preparation to set the scene even more.

Then he laughed hysterically at you crying. That's not a joke, that's downright disgusting abusive and deliberately hurtful behaviour . I can't imagine anyone would think this would be funny?? He knew what he was doing. Now he can live with Concequences.

You'll get through and will one day meet the right person who shows you they love and care for you, and will treat you how you deserve to be treated.

vadieblue6 writes:

Again- why in the eff are family getting involved?

Every relationship I have had, none of my family contacted my exes. Even the guy that left me for his co-worker and emotionally cheated. My family was like, “ok that sucks… do you need help moving?”

I’ve never reached out to a friend or family member’s ex. Their life, their relationship, their business. If they need help, I’m there with a shovel and asking, “where do you need the hole dug and don’t give me too much info so I can maintain my plausible deniability.”

greeep writes:

My ex pretended to propose like 4 times before he actually did. It should've been a red flag. It wasn't funny to me and he continued to do it anyway. I married him. He went on to be emotionally abusive for 10 years.

Don't do what I did. Your ex is psychotic. He planned out a whole day AND asked you to marry him as a joke?? No. You made the right choice. Don't let his apology win you back. He'll just keep doing it over and over because you've shown him he can. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve that.

crampaaa writes:

What do you do? Stick with your gut and stay away. My husband is the nervous type and whenever someone would ask us if we were married or living together (while dating for two-ish years) he would always nervously laugh and never answer.

Whomever asked would end up looking at me and I would explain we weren't living together, married, and/or had children.

Then one day, after we were planning a trip to Niagara Falls, he had a couple buddies over. After they left, so we could get to bed for our trip, he brought it up to me that they assumed (supportively) he'd be proposing on this trip and isn't that HiLArIoUS?! I snapped.

Started laughing with him then it turned louder and harder (unhinged, maybe), saying, "Yeah, marrying me is fg hilarious, right?! Could you imagine?! Spending your future with me?! What a fg joke, amiright?!" It wasn't so funny anymore after that. We had a talk and he realized how it made me feel and clarified our relationship wasn't a joke.

He still isn't perfect, but realized his mistake and genuinely felt awful for ever humiliating me and our relationship like that. He wasn't intentionally mocking our relationship though.

In your case, he was very comfortable intentionally humiliating you and mocking the relationship after FIVE years?! Absolutely not. You deserve better and should be respected, not humiliated after PLEDGING YOUR FUTURE to him.

And now, OP's update:

Thank you guys so much for all of the love in the replies on my last post, I honestly didn't expect it to get as much attention as it did but I'm very very grateful for that and it has helped me a lot.

After I made that post I fell asleep crying, then woke up and decided to call my now ex-boyfriend, I told him that it was over and that I didn't want to be together with someone who after 5 years still isn't ready for marriage and make a big joke about it.

He cried and then turned angry and demanded me to stay and told me I was "a fg asshole for leaving him like this after everything he has done for me". He cussed me out so much that I stopped listening at one point so I don't really remember everything he said.

In the end we came to a sorta agreement that we are going to sell the house and that he will be sleeping in the guest room for now, so today I've just been scrolling the internet for apartments so I can have a fresh start.

He is still not happy about the break up tho. He is trying so bad to get back with me saying stuff the whole day like "can't we be together again?" and "this was just a small mistake I made".

But the one that did it for me was "don't be so fg petty and drop it, you know we are happy together and you know you still want me", when he said that I absolutely lost it and called him every single name I could come up with, then slammed my door.

I think he also told his family about this whole situation cause today I got a call from his mom telling me how "selfish" I was and how I "couldn't handle a simple joke" and it ended with her calling me a sl&t and hanging up the call, after that I've gotten several message from his other family members such as his siblings, his dad and even his aunt.

I've tried to just block them all but every now and then comes a new message. I feel like more will happen but the next update will probably not be in less than a week or so as I'm gonna try to sell stuff I don't need...

find a new apartment and fix everything with the house and stuff before we put it up for sale. I just wanna get out of here as quickly as possible.

And now, OP's 2nd update:

After my last post, we had constant fights for days during the evenings and one day I decided that I had enough, my closest friend let me move in with her for now until I find somewhere else to live and I still don't know what we're exactly doing with our house, but I have gotten lawyers involved and it's gonna take quite a while.

The biggest incident since I last posted is probably that I met my ex's mom in a mall and she full out screamed at me in public, I have never felt so humiliated.

Everyone probably thought I had done something horrible as she yelled things like "how could you do this to my son!?" and "you're a terrible human being!". I just walked away but I still felt so embarrassed.

Also, ever since I moved, constant messages has appeared from my ex, from his friends and from his family members, and they are NASTY messages. Such as "no one would give a flying f if you died, you are a waste of space" or "you are such a self centered sl&t, leaving your boyfriend over a small joke".

I try to ignore them but sometimes I do break down over them. This situation has also helped me learnt who my real friends are as some of my friends turned their back against me.

This whole thing still feels SO surreal to me and it's gonna take a long time for me to process it, however, if there is anything else that I need to update you on I will. Thank you all again so so much for the support it honestly has been helping me a lot.

Sources: Reddit
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