Woman hosts huge family dinner after SKIPPING sister's wedding; Sister says, 'You're seriously a MONSTER.' AITA?
When this woman is accused of stealing the bride's thunder, she asks the internet:
'AITA For having a family dinner after my sister’s wedding?'
My sister “Jess” (30/f) got married on Saturday morning, I (26/f) did not attend for a multitude of reasons, but primarily because I don’t care for her fiancé, “Jay,” and we don’t get along, so I figured I would skip to allow for them to have a happy time without me being a Debby downer and raining on their parade.
Due to the wedding, several family members were in town, some that I hadn’t seen for quite a few years and may not get to see again before they get too old or pass away as they are older or live out of the country.
Since I didn’t go to wedding, I figured that I would host a family dinner later in the evening from the wedding as most family members are scheduled to leave on Sunday or Monday and everyone would be split up.
The wedding began at 11 am and the dinner was scheduled to begin at 5pm. I do live about an hour from the venue, so I knew most people would be on the road by 4 pm but I figured that seeing as the wedding started at 11, 5 hours would be plenty of time for everyone to visit and mingle with Jess at the actual wedding.
At around 4:30 Jess called me, completely irate, yelling, swearing and just generally saying harsh things about how I’d stolen her guests and ruined her day in multiple ways, especially since I didn’t invite her and Jay to the dinner (again, the fiancé that I don’t get along with).
I didn’t beg anyone to come to the dinner nor did I pressure anyone and left it open to them all about whether or not they wanted to come (which most of them did).
I thought this was a fine compromise since it would decrease the tension for everyone involved and make for smoother sailing, but Jess sent me an incredibly nasty message and has blocked me from her Instagram and Facebook.
I’m unsure of whether or not she blocked my phone number or if she’s just not responding.
I didn’t think the dinner idea was so terrible, but my boyfriend feels like it was an a-hole move and that I should try and apologize to her, but I need more perspectives. So, AITA?
Let's se what readers thought:
standcand writes:
Was also thinking that the reason she doesn't get along with Jay is probably becaise OP isn't very nice nor considerate. YTA.
noelepha writes:
YTA.You should have gone to her wedding and wished her well. Instead you refused to go and then invited HER guests to a dinner with you knowing they would all have to leave her wedding. That was not just thoughtless, it was nasty.
snakepan writes:
YTA.I was fine up until the “5pm” reveal. If you do want to see the extended family, you tell them to come to your place “after the wedding,” so that once the bride and groom have left everyone else can trickle over to you since the wedding is actually over.
You don’t schedule a time for a gathering on the same day, thus pressuring the family whom you never see to try and make it work by leaving sooner than they otherwise probably would have...
flimflam writes:
OMG, were you raised in a barn? Have you ever been to a decent wedding before? Do you have any semblance of social graces? You may not have attended your sister’s wedding but you sure managed to ruin it anyway.
Your sister is right, you stole her guests and cut her big day short. Even if you hadn’t misjudged the usual time spent at a wedding, planning this on the same day is a huge AH move. Your relatives probably felt obligated to come to your dinner for the reasons you mentioned about them being old and living far away.
If they’re in town for the wedding I bet they were around for more than one night so I’m sure you could have done a dinner or something else at another time, and even if you couldn’t, this was still awful. Very thoughtless of you.
breb writes:
ESH except for maybe the bride. YTA for being such a drama queen that you refused to attend your sister’s wedding because you knew you’d mope. Everybody else sucks because they agreed to your obnoxious plan to fight for family attention in the same day as the wedding.