Woman insists that fiancé set boundaries with his parents for honeymoon, 'they call EVERY NIGHT.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my fiancé to set boundaries since his parents are going to our honeymoon?"
I (22F) moved in with my bf (24M) when we got engaged. We live on 40 acres and his parents live on the property with us. I love them like my own parents. We go over for meals, game nights, and to hang out. My bf and his dad are best friends and they do all kinds of projects together.
When his parents are out of town, they call every night to talk business and chat. When we go on vacation, his parents come with us. Lately it seems excessive, but I keep it to myself. We’re getting married in Nov. on another property that my bf, his sister, and their parents own together.
There’s plenty of space for both our families and friends, and everyone is leaving the day after the wedding so we can honeymoon for a week there. That is, everyone except his parents. When I found out they were planning on staying, I told my bf I didn’t want them there.
I feel like since they’re his parents, it’s his responsibility to tell them to leave. He said it wasn’t a big deal. I told him it was weird and I wanted it to just be us. He suggested we could honeymoon somewhere else at a later date, but still spend the week after the wedding with his parents.
I told him no because I have limited PTO, we planned on honeymooning there ALONE, we’re trying to save money, and I don’t want to be the couple that never ends up having a honeymoon cause they keep saying they’ll have it later. I said he needs to tell his parents to leave at the same time everyone else does.
He told me no since his parents are part owners (even though his sister is leaving with everyone else). We kept talking and I told him it feels like his parents are his family rather than he and I being our own family and that I wanted to start setting boundaries with his parents, the first one being that they can’t stay for our honeymoon.
He said he didn’t understand why I was so emotional about this (mind you I wasn’t emotional till he said that). Once he said that, I stopped talking cause I felt invalidated and I didn’t want to get emotional and prove him right. He’s refusing to discuss it anymore and it’s making me wonder if I crossed a line by telling him he needs to set boundaries with his parents. So AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
AurynSharay said:
NTA. Why do his parents even want to be there?
Zestyclose-Height-36 said:
Nta. he is thoroughly enmeshed with his family and if you make the mistake of marrying him, he will always put what they want ahead of what you want. He is showing you who he is. Decide now if you want his mom in the delivery room when you give birth, because clearly his family have no boundaries.
Gringa-Loca26 said:
NTA but your boyfriend is nowhere near ready to be a husband.
Damdogma said:
What kind of parents accompany their kid on his honeymoon. That is weird af.
LavishnessGeneral said:
NTA. This is a glimpse of what the rest of your life with him is going to be like.
lovescarats said:
NTA, but this is a foreshadow of what will come if you marry.
Endless63 said:
NTA...it's your honeymoon...your fiance is a total AH who learns to read the room, just like his parents...what parents would want to insert themselves into a couples honeymoon...totally weird...