"AITA for wanting to eat a dessert in a restaurant?"
So my boyfriend (29m) and me (28f) are currently travelling through Italy. Yesterday we would take a train from Florence to our next hotel in the countryside of Tuscany. We were going to have a last dinner there yesterday night, I chose a place that has the best tiramisu in Florence according to insta and we didn't manage to go there earlier.
Our meal took a bit longer than expected and my boyfriend reminded me that the last train we could take was at 21.40, the next train would only come early in the morning. He said that it would be too tight to eat dessert and that we should just pay and leave to make it to the train.
According to my estimation we had 20 minutes left, so it would either be 20 minutes waiting in the station or 20 minutes in the restaurant, no big deal.
When the waiter came and asked if we wanted anything else I quickly ordered the tiramisu. Without having to read the menu first I figured it would be fast enough to make our train still. My boyfriend got kind of red and asked me why I did that. I just told him that they will bring it out soon and that we have plenty time to make the train.
So it took a little longer than expected and by the time it came I only had time to snap a few quick pictures and eat it fast. I offered my boyfriend some of it but he said he didn't want any. We paid and left, it was tight now but still possible so we grabbed our luggage and made a run for it. In the end we made it, I admit that there was barely any time left but we got in the train a couple minutes before we left.
I sat down and just felt such relief that everything worked out. My boyfriend just threw the bags down and sat somewhere else for a moment untill the train left. I called out to him and told him to come sit with me.
I started talking about how we did it but he cut me off and asked me in an angry tone "why I had to have that dessert." He complained about running halfway through the city and almost missing the train.
I felt very hurt and was a bit scared to be honest, I have never seen him angry like this. We argued the whole train ride and on the way to our hotel. There he eventually just said that he was exhausted, turned around and went to sleep. I cried myself to sleep at night and woke up feeling very horrible. He is still asleep and I come here to ask you if I am the ahole here.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Narnour_ said:
YTA. It sounds very irresponsible to risk missing the last train of the day that could cause a ton of complications for an instagram picture. You are enforcing a huge amount of anxiety onto your partner (when you’re supposed to have peaceful vacations) without any dialogue when he clearly told you he wanted to go.
If really you wanted to taste the tiramisu of your dreams, tell him that way beforehand, plan things right and go earlier. It’s not because it worked out that you were right.
Jinx983 said:
YTA. If you knew you wanted to have the tiramisu, why didn't you order it when you ordered your main? Tell the waiter you were in a rush and ask for it ASAP?
ThrowWeirdQuestion said:
YTA - You were in a rush already, and not only ordered the dessert and ate it but snapped pictures of the dessert? I would have understood somehow if you really wanted to eat the dessert, but this sounds like the photos (for social media, I assume?) were the main reason to make yourself and your boyfriend almost miss the train.
peggingpinhead said:
YTA. You're lucky he waited. I would have left you and your tiramisu in the restaurant. Also, how were you even able to enjoy that dessert when you knew it had to be making your boyfriend crazy anxious? Or were you that oblivious to his feelings?
XxQueenOfSwordsXx said:
YTA. Wow, way to absolutely disregard your boyfriend’s concerns, and then double down after that it was ok only because you all ran to the train. You actually proved his point that you didn’t have the time to spare.
Has it occurred to you that he was actually correct AND that maybe he would rather not feel super stressed about missing the train & having to race to make the train? I would have been livid also if I were him. Do you often disregard what he says and do what you want anyway, or was this a one time thing?
MidwinterSun said:
YTA. And if you had missed that train, then what? Did you consider that? Because he certainly did, and correctly judged that the stress and inconvenience over being stuck overnight in a town with no place to sleep far outweigh the inconvenience you'd experience missing out on dessert one evening.
He's supposed to enjoy his vacation as well, and you made sure he'll spend the evening worried, stressed, frustrated and angry. Because you decided that having a dessert is more important than his peace of mind.