Woman insists that roommate replace special hot pepper wine her friend opened; AITA?

While some people share a living space with roommates under the what's mine is yours philosophy, it's understandable to expect a few of your prized posessions to remain untouched...

So, when a frustrated young woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's AITA about a wine-related roomie heist, people were ready to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for wanting my roommate to replace my special wine that her friend opened?

I (23F) share an apartment with two roommates (28F and 25F.) My (28F) roommate, “Morgan,” sometimes has friends over, and they’ll watch movies and drink something, usually wine.

I don’t really drink, just once or twice a year on special occasions. The most recent time was because my sis wanted to do a wine tasting while we were on a trip together.

At the winery, I found the first wine that I’ve actually enthusiastically liked: a spicy wine infused with hot peppers. I bought a bottle, took it home, and put it in my section of the shared pantry.

A couple of months went by without incident. Then one Friday night, I came home to Morgan and two of her friends drinking it. I confronted her about it, and she said that her friend had opened it without knowing it was mine. Morgan apparently realized the mistake but thought it would be ok because I’ve “said that I don’t like wine before.”

??? What makes you think that made it ok? I've said that before, yes, but this is literally the only wine I’ve ever enjoyed enough to buy a bottle of. I was saving it for a special occasion or maybe to share the next time my sister came to visit. But they drank most of it, and now there’s barely a full glass left.

I told her I wanted her to replace it, and she agreed. Well, a couple weeks later she said that she’d gotten me another bottle, but it was just regular wine from the liquor store.

I told her that she must have misunderstood: I don’t want just any old bottle of regular wine. I want her to get me another bottle of the actual wine that she and her friends drank.

Her eyes got really wide and she started complaining about how that winery is a three hour drive away, and that wasn’t fair because it was her friend who opened it and not her.

Honestly? I told her that I didn’t really care. Morgan knew it was mine and let her friends drink it anyway. She could have told her friend that it was mine, put it away, and told me about it, and I would’ve understood.

But no, she let them go ahead and even poured herself a glass. She was still drinking it when I came home.

So yeah: I’ve told her that her friend can replace it or she can. Don’t really care how. I just want another bottle before the lease is up next year and I move out.

Morgan is mad at me. She’s been avoiding hanging out in our shared living room and won’t speak to me at all now. Our third roommate thinks I’m being unreasonable and wants me to just drop it and accept the regular wine bottle as a replacement, so Morgan will “get back to her old self.” They’re both making me feel really bad now, and I’m wondering if I’m being too harsh so, AITA?

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this roommate drama. Here's what people had to say...

Paevatar said:

NTA. She needs to learn to keep her mitts off other people's food and drink.

NotCreativeAtAll16 said:

NTA. The bottle was opened by her guest. She's responsible for replacing it, ESPECIALLY since she knew it was your bottle they were opening BEFORE they opened it. She had every opportunity to stop them before, but didn't. She can't cry now because it costs more than 2-buck-Chuck.

NTA. She owes you that exact bottle. Most wineries will ship the wine to you. It will be more expensive, but she owes you that. We call that the PITA fee.

The_Ramenista said:

NTA. This is basic roommate courtesy, if one of their guests takes or breaks something that doesn't belong to them, the roommate whose guest it was is responsible for making sure the item is replaced.

She doesn't get to decide what she replaces it with. The fact that she's inconvenienced by the distance to the winery is not your concern. She wouldn't have to drive that far if she had stopped her guest from taking your belongings.

Enough-Process9773 said:

NTA one bit. I would die on this hill. The roommate should look locally for a replacement. If nothing is local look into shipping. If they don't ship then yes go drive and get it. Take accountability for their actions.

Snackinpenguin said:

NTA. I would start keeping your special wine in your own room, but yes- you’re not wrong to expect the exact replacement and not just some average bottle from the liquor store. Your roommate is just being cheap and lazy.

Comfortable-Focus123 said:

NTA - I first thought that maybe you may have crossed a line, but Morgan is being a spoiled baby about. Claiming SHE didn't open the bottle, her FRIEND did. As if she was not responsible. And now throwing a tantrum?

And you other roommate trying to appease her? It's all about Morgan. She could have offered to drive you there and make it a fun roomies trip. Perhaps it is time to find a new place to live. She sounds like a jerk.

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman isn't wrong to ask her roommate to replace the exact wine as she had a special memory and intended for it...

Of course, these types of misunderstandings are often a part of living with a roommate, but this is also what you happens when you take things that aren't yours. Her friend shouldn't have assumed that all the alcohol in the apartment was an all-you-can-drink buffet. Good luck, everyone!