In-laws say woman emasculated husband by maliciously complying when told to 'relax.'
My in-laws are mad at me for listening to them when they told me to be lazy like a man.
I (F28) dislike cooking. Don't get me wrong; I cook for survival, but it is not something I like or enjoy.
At my in-laws', both my MIL and SIL are stay-at-home partners and love to cook. Neither of their husbands lifts a finger to help, and they prefer it that way.
Before marriage, I was treated as a guest. But since my marriage six months ago, they expect, want, and demand that I cook with them. The first few times, I went along with it, but I hated it. It took 5-7 hours to prepare food and do the dishes.
So when they planned a get-together last weekend and discussed the menu, I suggested ordering in. This way, everyone can be more relaxed. They looked like I insulted them. I told them they can cook but to give me a list of what I should make, and I will buy it.
They said that's not how traditions work, and if I hate it so much, I can relax with the men.That's exactly what I did, much to their anger. I helped set the table and served, but that was it.
As we were eating, my husband commented on how good something tasted. My MIL immediately went on about how I wouldn't be cooking anything for him. When he said he can cook for himself, SIL chimed in with how her husband or dad never had to cook a day in their life and how marrying lazy women like me has ruined his manhood.
I looked at my husband, and we both left. MIL and SIL are blowing up our phones over my arrogance and calling him spineless. Even my mom is taking their side now. But guess who doesn't care?
Here are some of the top comments:
Chasman1965 says:
Ironically, he had a spine to walk out . That took more balls than anything else he could do.
My wife and I have been married 21 years, and I do ALL the cooking. It is relaxing for me and it allows me to be creative. I am constantly trying out different things I see on cooking shows.
My wife, however, does all the baking. Baking things requires sticking to an established recipe if you want the final product to be worth a damn. I am one to constantly add extra stuff to see if it’ll taste better.
DrHugh says:
When we dated in college, I had to show my now-wife how to brown hamburger; she'd never really cooked. We never subscribed to gender roles on this sort of stuff. I'm very happy spending hours in the kitchen on a big meal.
Of course, my wife is very into sports, which doesn't interest me. She also doesn't wear makeup. One time, when we were talking about having kids, she worried about having a girl because she wouldn't be able to show them how to put on makeup.
I said she could show them how to play different sports, and I could teach makeup application, as I'd been active in academic and community theater for over a decade at that point. She laughed and conceded the point.
A postscript: My older daughter got into my rouge wheel one year, using Q-tips instead of foam sponges, and gouged it up. I let her keep it and took her with me to the theatrical supply store to buy another on Father's Day. Probably not a problem many fathers have faced.
What do you think? Should OP have maliciously complied with her in-laws, or was she right to "be lazy."