Woman keeps her word, refuses to let sister into her kid's life after baby name feud. AITA?
"AITA for keeping my word about not letting my sister into my daughter’s life over her choice of baby name?"
My sister Kelly (28f) and I (30f) have never gotten along, let’s get that out of the way right now. I know my judgement is probably biased because of this. Ever since we were kids, she would always try to copy or one up me.
For example: In school, she’d join every club or sport I was in and try to “beat” me at it (debate, chess, tennis, etc). Kelly would always throw it in my face that she had “better friends” than me, which really meant she was in with the popular crowd while I preferred to be friends with people that I actually liked.
Our mom went to an Ivy League school which I also applied to and was accepted, and when it was time for Kelly to apply to colleges, she applied to an even more prestigious Ivy League and was rejected. She threw a big fit about not getting in when she was “a much better student than (me)."
Anyway, Kelly and I were both pregnant at the same time. I was pregnant first, and once my partner and I found out the gender, we decided to use a name that I’ve loved since I was little: Josephine. Kelly knows that this is my dream baby name, and I thought that she’d have enough respect to consider this one name as off limits, but no.
Two weeks later, she and her boyfriend announced that they were pregnant with baby Josie. I called her up to ask if she was really going to name her baby the same name as mine, and she smugly said that I was free to change my baby’s name because she hadn’t been born yet, never mind that she was less far along than I was.
My partner and I stuck to our guns because we honestly didn’t think she’d go through with it and welcomed our baby Josephine into the world six months ago.
We announced the birth on social media, and to my horror, the very next week, Kelly posted a picture of some custom blankets she’d ordered with the name Josie on them, “for (her) little JoJo”, which is a nickname my partner and I used for our Josephine in our post.
I called her again to basically tell her to change her plans for her baby’s name because my Josephine had already been born and her name is on the birth certificate.
I told Kelly bluntly that I was calling her bluff, and she told me that she wasn’t bluffing, and that I was free to change my baby’s name or else there would be two JoJos in the family. I called her a huge narcissist and told her that she wasn’t welcome in my baby JoJo’s life if she went through with stealing my JoJo’s name.
Two weeks after my birth, Kelly gave birth to her baby Josie. I didn’t contact her at all, not to offer support or to tell her off for stealing my baby’s name. I figured that she was in recovery and that I shouldn’t stress her out immediately after giving birth.
Last week, Kelly called me up because she wanted to come over and meet my baby now that she’s six months old. I asked if she’d changed her baby’s name, and she confusedly said no. I reminded Kelly of what I’d told her back before our babies had been born, and she called me an “unreasonable b." Now the whole family is up in arms against me for not letting my sister meet her niece. AITA here?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this:
Traveling-Techie said:
I don’t see a problem with going NC with someone who seems extremely committed to your unhappiness.
Sea_Firefighter_4598 said:
NTA. This seems like the last straw for your relationship. Why would you let that crazy woman around your daughter? She is just trying to set up the sibling competition 2.0. Tell your family Kelly won't meet your daughter and they won't see her either unless they stand down.
The time for them to be up in arms was when Kelly came up with her crazy plan and that time is past. Seriously how could your parents not call her out on this? How could her boyfriend not?
RNGinx3 said:
NTA. Tell your family you're done with the constant competitions, and since they didn't put a stop to it when you were kids, you're putting a stop to it now, before Kelly passes it on to the next generation. My ex bff stole my baby name. She knew what that name meant to me, who it was in honor of, and she didn't care. Someone that selfish doesn't deserve to be in your life, IMO.
Fire_or_water_kai said:
NTA. But holy sh$t where were your parents in all this? Your sister is freaking nuts and it seems like no one ever thought her behavior was abnormal as hell. Anyone who cosigns her bulls$it is best kept at a very far distance. Like somewhere in outer space. Be careful with what you share about your child because these aholes will weaponize anything.
Lashkar777 said:
NTA. I can only imagine how bad your sister is going to be about comparing the kids. Save your daughter from being subjected to your sister's nonsense and go LC or NC. It sucks that the rest of your family either refuses to see or doesn't care about your sister's behavior, but just explain to them that you aren't going to expose her to that negatively competative environment.
notyoureffingproblem said:
Nta, if she doesn't have access to you, she can't copy you.
SeeKaleidoscope said:
NTA. Your sister seems to have some serious issues. Best to keep her away from your kids. Doesn’t sound like she adds anything positive.