Woman kisses husband in front of family to prove a point. AITA?

"AITA for kissing my husband in front of my family to prove a point?"

I (29F), an American nurse, am married to my amazing husband (30M), who’s Arab and works as a software engineer.

We’ve been married for a few years and have one child together. To be honest, my husband is incredibly handsome—he’s tall, with olive skin and striking green eyes. I admit I’ve dealt with some jealousy now and then because, well, women notice him a lot.

We actually met because of his health. He has pernicious anemia, meaning he needs a B12 injection every month for life, and I was his nurse. Over time, we fell in love and got married.

He’s kind, caring, and a wonderful father, but he still holds on to some Middle Eastern habits. For example, he refuses to kiss in public, especially in front of family, and he prefers to keep a little distance from my family, saying that too much interaction often leads to unnecessary problems. I’ve come to respect that—it’s just part of who he is.

Recently, though, something weird happened. My younger sister (25F) decided to spread a story that my husband is cold, rude, and mistreats me, and that I’m too afraid to tell anyone.

I have NO idea why she did this, but my parents completely believed her. They began dropping by my house frequently, saying they just wanted to check in and see how I was doing with the baby.

After a while, my mom finally confessed the real reason for their visits—they were worried about me because of the story my sister told them. I was furious. When I confronted my sister, she just laughed and said it was a joke, but the damage was already done, and now my parents were seriously concerned.

So, on my husband’s birthday, I decided to invite the entire family over. I thought, “Okay, let’s end this nonsense once and for all.” During the celebration, I gave my husband a kiss in front of everyone. Now, keep in mind that my husband is incredibly shy about public affection—he immediately turned red and looked so embarrassed.

Later, after the guests left, he told me he was really angry. He felt humiliated and said that I knew how much he dislikes being put on the spot like that, especially in front of our families. I explained that I only did it to shut down the rumors my sister had started and to show everyone that our relationship is perfectly fine.

Now, I feel guilty because I hate making him uncomfortable, especially on his birthday. But at the same time, I felt I needed to take control of the situation and stop my family from believing the nonsense my sister had spread.

So, Reddit... AITA for embarrassing my husband by kissing him in front of my family, even though I knew it would make him uncomfortable, just to prove a point?

Let's see what readers thought:

lunarwheel writes:

I'm going to go with YTA here - which is weird for me, because I don't think I've ever thought someone would be an asshole for kissing their spouse.

But in this case, you know he's uncomfortable with public affection, and you didn't get him to consent beforehand. That's really not okay. He has nothing to do with these rumors aside from being a victim of them - why is he also now being used as a prop on top of it?

It also doesn't actually do anything to further your case with your family. If you were an abuse victim, would you be somehow unable to kiss him in front of your family? I'm not seeing the through-line there.

navar writes:

YTA. Despite the set up & justification, ultimately you steamrolled your husband’s boundaries & comfort level without discussing it with him first. You pre planned this & could have had a discussion with your husband so he wasn’t blindsided.

I get cross cultural differences, my partner is Chinese, I am mixed heritage Indigenous & English/Scottish but raised typical American. He was born here, but his parents immigrated to work with family, so he was raised with some traditional ideals that are very different than American ones.

He has some similar reserved ideals that they practice in his culture both physically & limiting any information that you give to anyone that is less than the ideal or upbeat in your life, even to close friends or family. We discuss them when they clash with the kind of connection we want to have. I mention it because it sounds like you have similar candor in your own relationship.

You may have been better off explaining to your sister the damage she did, having her fix it with your parents, then having a conversation with both your parents & husband if you felt being more affectionate in front of them was a necessary step.

strictbrie writes:

Gentle ESH. Your sister is an ass. As far as the situation with you and your husband, knowing it makes him uncomfortable, you should have had a conversation with him and gotten consent or figured out something else together.

Your parents mean well, but i would demand that your sister explain to your parents that she wasn't serious. Then i would low or no contact your sister.

vissoh writes:

Was it a cheek kiss or a lip kiss? If it is a cheek kiss and he reacts like this, I'm sorry, but he should compromise at some point. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be okay being deprived of expressing even the slightest sign of affection in public.

So, NTA if it is a cheek kiss. You should discuss with your husband though and explain that while he wants zero affection in public, you want some, so let's compromise and agree on at least some minimal 'acceptable' gestures.