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Woman lashes out at sister for complaining about her kids, 'you chose this;' AITA?

Woman lashes out at sister for complaining about her kids, 'you chose this;' AITA?


Raising a family can be a beautifully rewarding, life-affirming experience, but sometimes you need to vent a little bit to your sister...

So, when a frustrated woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her sister's complaints about motherhood, people were ready to help out.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my sister she chose to have kids and she has to deal with the consequences of that herself?

I (27F) go out with my sister (Lilly - 35F) once every two or three months for lunch. That is both because she has 3 kids (8F 5M 2F) and barely has time and because I have very few days to myself thanks to my residency.

Throughout this whole lunch, for the past few years she has complained nonstop about how hard it is to have kids and be a mom. Nonstop. She talks about kids 100% of the time and complains.

I was extra tired during our last lunch and I lashed out at her, saying that I don't remember anyone forcing her to have kids and now that she had them, she should be a big girl and deal with the consequences of her actions and decisions.

She got super mad, called me a judgemental AH who knew nothing about parenthood. I was like exactly, I'm taking one of the most challenging paths a person can take in my career and I've never complained. Not even a word because I chose it myself.

She told me I was a horrible sister and an even worse aunt, said she wanted nothing to do with an AH like me. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess...

MontanaWildWiman said:

NTA. You can only take so much from a person being so utterly negative like that. Sucks the life out of folks. The conversation sounds exhausting and one sided.

That being said she is right about it being hard, am not a mom but from seeing friends and family its lonely for them getting screamed at and puked on. It was her choice, as was your choices. Neither should be minimalized or marginalized for their challenges.

snake5solid said:

NTA. She knew after one kid how much work it is and she still had 2 more. And of course, complaining about her miserable life is all she ever talks about...

There's a time when people just have enough of listening to a broken record. Especially when they did it to themselves. Now she's angry because she heard from you what she knows deep down is true. Good luck with your residency!

Virtual-Volume-8826 said

Unpopular, but YTA. What adults typically do before lashing out is politely and kindly bring up an issue. Maybe she just doesn’t realize how often she talks about the kids.

“Hey can we change the subject, you speak about your kids a lot and I want to talk about other things as well.” It’s that easy. Bottling it up and then lashing out is childish.

Her kids are the center of her world, and she’s leaning on you for support. If you don’t like how she’s doing that, then fine, but lashing out is never the answer. You’re 27.

Also, people complain about situations they put themselves in. It’s very normal and very human to vent, even when it’s an issue you caused yourself. I couldn’t imagine trying to lean on you for support.

Kukka63 said:

NTA, it's tedious to listen to someone who complains about the same thing all the time.

Discolobsterboat said:

ESH. It is exhausting to listen to someone complain, so your sister kind of sucks there. But you kinda suck too. You sound super judgemental of your sister's life. Get off your high horse, everyone's life path is hard whether they chose it or not.

While the opinions were definitely divided here, most people agreed that these sisters probably need to have a deeper discussion about this conflict. Perhaps neither one of them should have to take all the blame, but a productive chat could be healing....

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