Woman leaves family gathering over sister's 'horrible food hygiene.' AITA? 'She just stared at me.'

"AITA for leaving a family gathering after seeing my sister's horrible food hygiene?"

My [35F] family holds a family gathering every year, this year, my sister Sarah [38F] and her husband hosted. Me and Sarah have always argued, she's my sister and I love her dearly, but there are some parts of her that frustrate me, in particular her laziness around hygiene.

Ever since we were kids, she's always had a very carefree attitude around hygiene, for example she wouldn't wash her hands in the bathroom because it was "just a number one."

This has gotten a little better since entering adulthood, especially after getting married, however it is still a big problem, not out of ignorance but out of genuine laziness.

We spoke a few times in the lead up to the gathering, and I tried to reason with her. She promised everything would be clean, but called me dramatic and seemed to brush my concerns off.

Fast forward to last weekend, everything is going fine, I am helping to prepare the salad while my sister is cutting up some chicken for her husband to grill up. Suddenly, I see her pick up the same knife she had just been using to cut up the raw chicken and proceed to start cutting up the bread.

I asked her what she thinks she's doing, to which she just stared at me until I explained. She gave a half-hearted apology and went to wash the knife. At this point I was extremely angry, not only could this make someone sick, but our other sister who was also at the gathering is vegetarian, and Sarah had promised her that there would be no cross-contamination.

Here is where I think I might have become the AH, I put down what I was doing, grabbed mine and my husband's stuff and went outside. I explained what had just happened to the rest of the family, apologized for having to go, and me, my husband and our daughter left.

While the rest of the family agreed with my concerns, many of them were upset about the fact we just left, especially as my husband and I were both meant to be helping with the catering, as well as the fact we get to see each other so rarely.

I do feel bad for leaving, but I didn't want to escalate the situation, nor did I want my daughter to get caught up in any arguments. AITA?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

inkslingerben said:

Your family members were upset because you were helping with the catering?!? Is their concern more about having to do more work or not getting sick?

Trick_Delivery4609 said:

NTA. Don't let her tell you otherwise. That is nasty. And you needed to tell the others so they were aware. Don't let her host or bring food to anything. Still invite her but serve her plates so she doesn't touch other stuff. She can bring packaged foods or drinks as her contribution.

grayzzz_illustrate said:

NTA...I am definitely someone who is more neurotic than normal about food safety, but it's for good reason. People don't realize "food poisoning" is an umbrella term for a huuuge variety of illnesses with symptoms ranging from the stereotypical throwing up or getting the runs, all the way to permanent organ damage or neurological issues.

You can't eat at everybody's house.... Not worth the risk. If that's what she's doing in front of others, I can only imagine the unsanitary ways she preps food when no one is looking.

Riflemaiden1992 said:

That's happened to me too. My husband and I were invited to lunch at the home of someone he used to be friends with. These folks were very wealthy and lived in a clean, pristine and spotless 10,000 square foot mansion.

The guys wife is cutting up raw chicken on a cutting board then without washing the cutting board, she chops up lettuce for a salad. I didn't want to offend these people so I had to discreetly warn my husband not to eat the salad.

vague-aesthetic said:

Nope! NTA! You had me at raw chicken to bread. As a former restaurant cook and someone with severe contamination OCD, allergies and other food issues, I could never eat anywhere near your sister again and I don’t think I could have stayed as calm as you did if my kids were involved.

Condensed_Sarcasm said:

NTA. Your sister's laziness could get somebody sick, or worse. Anybody that thinks otherwise is otherwise is delusional.

MadGeller said:

NTA. Nope. Your sister is a psycho. If you didn't tell everyone else there what your sister had done, you would be an ahole. That is some seriously hazardous food handling. What else is going on if she doesn't wash a nnife after handling chicken?

How else will she ever change her dangerous food handling habits if there is no accountability. Your family is enabling her if they stayed and ate what she made. I would never eat at her house or that she made until she stopped the bad food handling. Wow. She's going to put someone in the hospital.