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Woman leaves grandparents' house 'without warning.' AITA? 'WHAT HAPPENED?'

Woman leaves grandparents' house 'without warning.' AITA? 'WHAT HAPPENED?'

"AITA for leaving the house 'without warning?'"

I (21F) am currently living with my grandparents, 77F and 80M. There is a Dunkin Donuts in the city that is a 7 minute walk from their house. I have walked there multiple times in the past with no problem. This morning I told my grandmother "I'm going to Dunkin' to get a drink." She responded with "okay." I went to my room, grabbed my key, then left.

When I came back maybe 20 minutes later with my drink in hand, she started panicking. She asked "what happened?! Did you have that delivered?!" I was very confused and said "no, I told you I was walking to Dunkin." She immediately started panicking again and said "you didn't tell me you were leaving!"

I was bewildered. I reminded her how I explicitly said that I was going to walk there to get a drink. She told me that she didn't realize I meant that exact minute and had no idea I even left the house.

She started going on a rant, saying what if there was a an emergency and she was searching all around the house for me and couldn't find me. I was dumbfounded given the fact that I am literally about to turn 22 next month, had my phone on me, and I personally thought what I said sufficed.

I called my mom to get her opinion and she agreed I shouldn't even realistically need to ask permission to walk to Dunkin' especially at my age. My grandma got mad that I called her and once again said that she didn't realize I meant I was going to leave right at the moment.

What I said was "I am going to walk to Dunkin' to get a drink." I thought that was fine and that made it more than clear enough I meant right then. She was so angry I called my mom, but my mom agrees that they have been way too overprotective during the time I've been staying with them. Believe me, I'm incredibly grateful they're letting me live with them, this just feels like a bit much in my opinion.

My grandma's main argument is I should have clarified as I was walking out the door that I was leaving right at that moment and that I wasn't clear enough and need to communicate better, and that to her I left the house without warning which terrified her. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

said:

OP, your grandparents are quite old. Her response was over the top, this is not normal. Please watch for dementia symptoms and get help if needed.

said:

NTA. What I wonder: Is she using her outrage with you to cover that she just didn't remember? Are there signs she is starting to experience memory loss? We saw this with my wife's grandma. Initially, she'd find a way to turn it that the issue wasn't that she forgot, the issue was a different issue to push that she forgot to the side because she didn't want to deal with the possibility that her memory was failing.

said:

Hon, no NTA, but call your grandparents GP / doctor. Probably just a simple infection (uti, lung), but it really messes with older people's brain, and with memory. Could be more to it, but I doubt it, and that's when you need the gp anyway.

said:

NTA. Was your grandma this paranoid when your mom was your age? If not, I wonder if this may be an early sign of dementia.

said:

NTA. Your grandma is covering for her issues related to short term memory. Notice how she changed from you didn’t tell me to she didn’t realize that you were leaving now. I’d talk to family about getting her yo a doctor.

said:

NTA. You very clearly communicated that you were going to walk to dunkin. Not to scare you or anything, but your grandma’s defensiveness is making me think that she might be dealing with some memory loss or cognitive decline. Maybe she heard you, but then forgot what you’d said to her so she defensively “misinterpreted” the statement once she was reminded of it.

After reading the comments, OP responded:

Okay a lot of you are suggesting it could be a dementia issue. My only issue with this is my grandma has shown no other symptoms of this and is INCREDIBLY sharp for her age and you probably wouldn't guess she's as old as she is if you spoke to her. Although it could of course be a very early sign as many of you suggested so I will discuss the idea with my mother.

Sources: Reddit
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