This weekend my friend's band was playing so we decided to celebrate my and my fiance's engagement. I don't have many friends after working and being a single mom for the last 10 years, but I made sure to invite his friends, which included a woman that he has been friends with for years and years (we can call her G). He's always told me nothing has happened between them and that they are just good friends.
So while we are out drinking and toasting my impending marriage G decides to talk about all the times that she and my fiancé hooked up. This was, by her own admission, many years in the past, so she told me I shouldn't be upset. BUT I did get very upset, and left to walk home.
We were about 5 miles away from my house, and I had left my phone at home for my son to use in case of an emergency. I made it most the way home before some nice young ladies asked if I needed a ride. G dropped off my fiancé at my house about 20 minutes later.
So now I find out that he and his friend (while married to G) would all hook up together regularly. I do not particularly like this woman, but I have always been nice to her because they are such close friends.
It doesn't help that I find her physically repulsive, and the man that she was married to is also disgusting to me. My fiance's excuse? I didn't ask specifically if they slept together with the ex-husband. I only asked if he had slept with her/dated G.
So my fiancé is saying he didn't lie. I'm all f'd up from walking nearly 5 miles in cold weather and bad shoes as I have Lupus. I understand we all have an intimate past and I'm normally not one to be hung up on something like this, so I have to ask- AITAH?
It’s not really about G, or her looks, or her then-husband’s disgusting-ness. It’s about your SO lying and gaslighting you. You are NTA.
NTA. You were lied to and your fiancé is questionable at best. It might be best to leave this relationship however hard that will be.
“He always told me nothing happened between them.” Which was a lie. Then she hijacked your engagement party to talk about all the hookups she & her now ex & fiancé had & fiancé apparently didn’t bother to stop her. (She did this for a reason, ya know) He came home, via G, then proceeded to gaslight you. Tell her she can have him back. NTA.
NTA. Your (hopefully soon to be ex) fiancé misled you. Frankly, this all seems like the two of them conspiring to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re still hooking up, & he just wants you to be his stable wife/housekeeper.
NTA. Ask him how he would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. And depending on his response I think you need to seriously consider if this is the type of man you want to spend forever with.
NTA. He’s a liar & she’s a troublemaker. There is no trust here.
He has now seen the post and saying I'm lying about a couple of things. He says it only happened once, and that G did not tell me it was more than once (she did, when I went outside to try to call my son with the fiancé's phone to tell my son I was coming home) and he also says they "aren't good friends" like I portrayed here.
I'm not sure how that makes him look any better, but for the sake of clarity, he's now doubling down and saying you all are only voting NTA because I'm a liar. He packed a bag and stayed elsewhere last night.
It's his 2 days off now, and I'm going to sleep af my aunt's until he's completely out. Now, I just need a new plan to make enough money to still move for my son's benefit after school let's out in Spring.