Woman 'ruins' sister's wedding, leaves early after the bride calls her career a 'hobby.' AITA?
"AITA for leaving my sister’s wedding early after she called my career a 'hobby?'"
So I (26F) just got back from my sister’s (28F) wedding last weekend, and I’m still pretty upset about what happened. I’m hoping y’all can give me some perspective because right now, I feel like crap.
Some background: My sister Anna and I have always had a complicated relationship. She’s the type-A, always-on-top-of-everything, super successful one, while I’ve always been more laid-back and creative. I’m an artist, and I recently started my own small business selling my paintings and doing commissions.
It’s been slow, but it’s starting to pick up, and I’m really proud of it. But my family, especially Anna, has always been a bit dismissive of my career choice. They don’t get why I didn’t go the “traditional” route like she did.
Anyway, fast forward to the wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, and I was honestly so happy for her. I even helped out a lot with the planning, even though I wasn’t the Maid of Honor (that was her best friend). I was doing my best to be there for her because, despite everything, she’s my sister and I love her.
At the reception, I finally got a moment alone with Anna to congratulate her. I told her how amazing everything was, how happy I was for her, all that stuff. And she just smiles and says, “Thanks! I’m surprised you actually made it. I figured you’d be too busy with your little hobby business.”
I was stunned. Like, did she really just call my career a “hobby?" I kinda laughed it off and said, “It’s not a hobby, it’s my job,” but she just shrugged and said, “Well, it’s not a real job, but I’m glad you’re having fun with it.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just walked away. I tried to enjoy the rest of the night, but honestly, I couldn’t shake what she said. It felt like she was belittling everything I’ve been working so hard for. So after dinner, I just decided to leave. I didn’t say goodbye to her or anyone, I just grabbed my stuff and left.
Now, my mom is furious with me for “ruining” the night by leaving early, and Anna hasn’t spoken to me since. My dad is trying to stay neutral, but he did say I might’ve overreacted.
I don’t know, maybe I did. But it really hurt hearing her say that, especially on her wedding day when I was just trying to support her. AITA for leaving the wedding early?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Datura_Rose said:
NTA. It was rude to begin with, but the fact that that's how she responded to you congratulating her tells me that she was intentionally trying to be hurtful and dismissive. You did not overreact by leaving. Her response to you was incredibly inappropriate.
Is it possible there's a little bit of jealousy that your passion has become a sustainable career and that deep down, maybe she's not quite as satisfied with her career? Just a thought. It could also be that she's just an ahole, but I find that sometimes jealousy comes out as snark and criticism.
BabyGirl_Amelia said:
NTA. Your sister's comment was hurtful, especially since you were there to support her on her big day. Calling your career a "hobby" undermined the hard work and passion you’ve put into your art.
Gold_Refrigerator414 said:
NTA. This is weird though, why did she go out of her way to comment that she thought you wouldn't make it? Had you missed other events related the wedding? There has to be more to this.
Sorry-Analysis8628 said:
NTA, and your sister was being somewhere between passive-aggressive and outright sh%^ty for no reason at all. If anyone "ruined" anything, it was her. You don't get to insult someone to their face and expect then to smile and laugh afterwards.
lovebeingana$%hole said:
I mean, unless you are borrowing money and in debt to all your friends and family, as we said in the 90s, what’s her damage? And omg why is everyone so dramatic? “You ruined the rest of the evening…” come on it must have been a sh$%ty wedding if someone not the bride and groom leaving ruined the evening. NTA.
mrmses said:
NTA - Your sister wanted to say a hurtful thing to you, and now everyone is acting surprised that you got hurt by her comments. Let me guess, this isn't the first time that Mom and Dad have prioritized Anna over you?