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Woman asks if she was wrong to leave twin sister's wedding because of son's injury.

Woman asks if she was wrong to leave twin sister's wedding because of son's injury.


Reddit user u/TASisterWeddimg

AITA (Am I The A**hole) for leaving before my sister's wedding ceremony started and leaving someone else in charge of my responsibilities?

She writes:

My sister got married on Friday. She and I are twins, so we are very close and best friends. She is child-free and I have 2 kids (3M and 1M). Obviously, she loves her nephews, and she never mistreated them, but she is not a person who would accept being a babysitter for a day. She has never offered to help with anything, though it's her choice and I respect it.

Not surprisingly, her marriage was child-free even for the family. She asked me to be her MOH and I accepted. I was responsible for a few things at the ceremony and party, nothing complex, but I asked another bridesmaid for help, so she was also on top of everything. My children stayed with my in-laws while my husband and I went to the wedding.

About 10 minutes before everything started (I was there for 2 hours), my in-laws called saying that my youngest hit his head while playing with my oldest and that they were taking him to the hospital.

I despaired, even though they said he was conscious, my heart was not at peace nor my husband's, so we decided to go to the hospital. I talked to the bridesmaid and explained everything I had to do, she accepted and when it was time to talk to my sister, she had a meltdown saying that I couldn't go at the most important moment in her life and if I was choosing him instead of her.

'I got really irritated and said, 'Yes, I choose my son in the hospital.' I left with her cursing me.'

My son is fine, but he got 2 stitches, without any internal trauma (they did exams), but we only left the hospital the other day, because they preferred to put him under observation because he's very young. I preferred to stay away from my cell phone just like my husband. When I got home, several calls from different people and I answered when I saw my sister's.

She asked how my son was and when she learned that it was a minor injury, she started screaming saying that I abandoned her at the most important moment in her life and that she was without a family in her own marriage (no parents and grandparents).

I left my responsibilities to a person who did everything wrong and caused an embarrassment and to make matters worse, I didn't even want to show up since my husband could stay in the hospital while I would at least share this moment with her. She called me several names until my husband took the cell phone out of my hand and told her to fuck off.

I really could have at least gone to the party, but I wasn't going to make it knowing my baby is in the hospital. I can't help but feel bad for my sister. AITA?

Reddit users were in agreement that this Mom is 'Not The A**hole' for wanting to be with her son in the hospital. It's understandable that the bride would be disappointed that her sister couldn't be at her wedding, but this was an emergency that could not be helped.

I don't think there's a mother out there who could've partied and pretended that everything was fine while their toddler was in the hospital with a potentially life-threatening head injury. Luckily the little guy is fine, and hopefully, with time, these sisters will be able to heal as well.

From stacity

NTA. She rather have you leave your child abandoned to stay with this grown woman? She’s TA!

From Distinct-Inspector-2

You only find out if a head injury is minor after tests and observation. All head injuries, particularly for a small child, should be taken very seriously. OP left her for a child with a head injury where the severity was unknown. NTA.

From thew0rldisquiethere1

NTA. Your sister needs to chill. Yes, it ended up being a minor injury, but it could have been worse. Always better to be safe than sorry. She sounds a bit like a bridezilla. Her first concern (earlier in the post when you left the wedding) was that you'd 'abandoned' her, and not whether your child was okay. I get that her day is important, but she's showing you where her priorities lie.

From Blippii

NTA. I want to write this whole thing in caps. Your kids come before absolutely everything else, ESPECIALLY when they go to the hospital. If they didn't go to the hospital & things were ok at home, yea, stay for the ceremony.

But he was clearly bleeding and needed stitches! Your sister is the biggest asshole of all for not understanding. It seems that selfish people without kids will never understand that life is fundamentally different with kids.

From FilthyDaemon

NTA. Your baby needed to go to the hospital, and I don't care how wonderful my husband is, there's no way I could function at a wedding or a party or anywhere else knowing that my child was in the hospital. OP, you needed to be there for your child as much (or more) than your child needed you there.

And I keep thinking back to the actress, Natasha Richardson. She had what they thought was a minor head injury that turned out to be fatal hours after the fact. You don't play around with head injuries. Ever.

From Maroon_Fox2521

NTA. I would have left my own wedding if one of my kids had been injured.

From​​​​​​​ PessimistDreamer2013

NTA. How were you supposed to know of the injury was truly minor until the doctor completed their tests? I understand bride doesn't want kids, but it's common sense that a parent would choose to be with their child in the hospital over, literally, anything. You don't have to like kids to understand that.

I get it's her wedding day, but you think she would have a bit more concern. Not to mention, while stitches are minor, I don't know any parent that would let their toddler get them without being there to comfort them. Her reaction baffles me, tbh.

From​​​​​​​ bookynerdworm

NTA. You were in a no-win situation and chose to be with your child in the hospital which every decent parent would do. I'm sorry your sister was upset, truly! It's not fair and she didn't deserve it but that doesn't mean you did something wrong.

Your youngest is 1 and needed stitches, that's a big deal for a baby whether or not there are internal injuries. I'm sure your in-laws are wonderful but in this situation, a child needs their parents.

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